AdScam/The Horror!

Another Trump “Business Success!”

Just in case you haven’t been paying attention, Der Trumpf’s latest grif... The stock price of Trump Media has nearly been cut in half in the roughly three weeks since a New York jury convicted him of criminal charges. Shares of the company behind Truth Social, which trades on the Nasdaq Stock Market as DJT, ended Friday’s trading session at $27.66 apiece. That’s a 46% decline from Trump Media’s $51.84-per-share price at the market close on May 30, the day Trump was found guilty of 34 felony counts of falsifying business records. Hey, MAGA “Morans” buy some more of this turgid shit.  

My legal team needs more moolah. Click on it!

 

It’s almost over...

That would be the Cannes Festival of Fuckery. Today is the last day. Nearly all the fake thousands of dollars Lions have been dished out. The Mimosas drained and the last Croisette hooker has been burried on the Expenses claim. Over at MoreAboutAdvertising, Jane Austin (No, not that one) sums it up well... “The cumulative sleep deprivation, the constant hum of (often) empty chatter and endless parade of panels, meet-ups and kabana lounges could turn even the most extroverted person into a wallflower with a mild case of PTSD. On day 1 of Cannes week, you’re Holly Golightly in full party mode. By day 4, you’re Greta Garbo with a cob on.”  Nuff said. 

The dumpster ate my expense report!  

Musk predicts doom.

In his continuing efforts to piss everyone in the Universe off, Elon “King Twat” Musk n a conversation with WPP chief Mark Read in Cannes made a pitch for big brand marketers to return to X, citing its "brand safety." He also implied that many, if not all, of the audience attending the "Festival of Creativity" might be out of a job soon, as rapid advances in AI will eventually enable the technology to do a better job of being creative and original than people can. “So,” there really is no future for any of us in this room." Read quipped. "I mean, I don't want to be a downer," Musk replied, followed by a long pause, an "um," lighting up a giant joint. Then exiting stage left.  

I just bought Cannes.

Tiger tip toes to more millions.

In another glaring example that golf is a game for fucktards played by douchenozzles, it is no surprise to read that the PGA Tour has created a special exemption for Tiger Woods alone, allowing for qualification to the high-priced events on its schedule. The ‘Sponsor Exemption for Lifetime Achievement’ will allow players with 80 or more PGA Tour victories to qualify for ‘Signature Events.’ And guess what? Woods is the only active player who falls into this bracket with 82 career victories. With a straight face The wankers at the PGA Tour said it was implementing this to “recognize Tiger Woods in his own category.” i.e. Mr. Money Bags will continue to rake it in!!! 

It's only a game!

 

Anouk Aimee R.I.P.

Sad news with the death of Anouk Aimee who died yesterday at her home in Paris at the age of 92. I first fell in love with her when I saw her in “La Dolce Vita” back in the late fifties when I was a student at the Royal College of Art in London. Stunningly beautiful, she wore sunglasses through most of the movie, even though much of it was shot at night. I also got maddly jealous when she married my old school mate from Manchester, Albert Finney. That didn’t last long, cos he was already a major piss artist. Takes one to know one!!! 

Priceless.  

Considering Cannes.....

Yes, it’s that time of year again. Today is the first day of the Cannes Festival of Fucktardliness. All the BDA’s and BDHC’s will be blowing millions on hotels, yachts, mimosas and other shit you don’t want to spell out on an expense sheet. There are now thousands of categories, and the entry fees would buy you a luxury car. As an illustration of how crazy it it, I am reminded of when a Kenyen agency won a Gold Lion for a campaign it produced telling villagers to put  iron bars in their cooking pots to reduce iron deficiency in their diet. The many accolades from the World Health Organization and the International Iron Bar Consortium, soon died down when it was revealed that the villagers had been doing the iron bar gizmo for over a hundred years, and besides which, most can’t read, so the ads where useless. Did the agency then trade the Gold Lion for an Iron one? Whadaya think? 

You’re going to need a bigger pot!