AdScam/The Horror!

Dimon is a banker's best friend.

As a further reinforcement to one of my favorite sayings... “It’s the rich wot gets the gravy... It’s the poor wot gets the blame.” Ace banking wanker, JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon has been widely criticized for suggesting that average Americans are doing well financially. Dimon, whose net worth is estimated at $2.1 billion, stated that consumers "still have excess money from COVID." This is the fucktard who during the banking crisis cut his salary in half from $30 million to $15 million. The next year, he ramped his salary back up to $30 million and gave himself a $15 million bonus. He is currently trousering about $40 million a year for talking shit. Gravy indeed.  

Climb aboard...  

Time for a new yacht?

News today that Amazon has reported another big set of numbers, marking the fifth consecutive quarter that has topped the high end of profit forecasts. Sales came in strong across the board. Revenue from the advertising division continued to outperform, up 24% to $11.82 billion, powered by sales of ad units in both stores and video. I have to admit that for the first ten years of Amazon’s existence, I used to take the piss out of Bezos, cos they never made a penny in profit. Shows how I know fuck all about fuck all. Wanna bet he’s planning some additions to his yacht fleet? 

This time with guns!!! 

Gotta Get the Gazillions!

Whilst sitting around waiting for his nearly six BILLION dollar pay package to be approved, Elon “King Twat” Musk has reportedly dismissed more than 500 employees from the automaker’s Supercharger network team, as well as additional employees from the new vehicle development program. He did this by sending them an email in the middle of the night. These layoffs come two weeks after Tesla said it was firing 14,000 people worldwide. Musk is reportedly trying to counterbalance Tesla's sales slumps with "hard-core" job cuts. Or, as he put it so fucking lamely... "Hopefully these actions are making it clear that we need to be absolutely hard core about head count and cost reduction, while some on exec staff are taking this seriously, most are not yet doing so." Oh, dear oh dear!!! 

Personally... I don’t give a fuck!!! 

Enigmatic it aint.

Apparently, the geezers who run the Louvre have had enough of the millions of tourists who fight their way past IM Pei’s glass monstrosity to then stand in line for hours ‘till they can pose for two seconds whilst they take a selfie with the Mona Lisa. Da Vinci’s iconic painting is protected by bullet-proof, antireflective glass, along with tightly controlled temperature and humidity to ensure the painting’s conservation. Although someone did throw pumpkin soup at it in January. Heinz claimed no part in the act. Anyway, the louvre has solved the problem. In their fabulous French wisdom, they are going to move La Gioconda into the basement. You can still visit it, but  be warned, it's a very big basement, so it will hold even more morons taking selfies. 

Buy a bloody postcard in the gift shop.  

Der Trumpf... Der Wanker.

You have to laugh at the news that after Saturday’s White House Correspondent's Dinner during which Biden joked that the only thing, he has in common with the UberGropenFuhrer was age. Der Trumpf Jumped on his pathetic “Truth Social” shitstorm calling the dinner “really bad, and they don’t get much worse than this.” How the fuck would he know. He never went to a single one during his pathetic four year tenure. ‘Co he knew he would have had the piss taken out of him relentlessly.  

If I did do dinners, they would be "Bigly" dinners. 

 

 

Another Scoop for Barbara.

My good mate, Barbara Lippert, ace columnist over at Media Post had a classic one yesterday... Pecker Payoffs, Oh My! As she tells us... “One week into Trump’s “hush money” trial, who could have predicted that retail giant Walmart played such an important part in the former President’s reported payoff to porn star Stormy Daniels?” Of the hundreds of journalists covering Der Trumpf’s trial, she is the ONLY one who has discussed the connection and spelled out what it means. Best part is David Pecker’s claim that Walmart shoppers might be offended at the word “Porn!” on the cover of his shitty rag.

Yeah, I’m disgusted... Or, is it disgusting?