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News this week that 4,000 of Elon “King Twat” Musk’s Cybertrucks have been recalled due to a faulty accelerator pedal that falls off when you apply your foot to it! Mmmmm. Apparently, this has something to do with Tesla introducing an unapproved change – using soap as a lubricant when assembling the accelerator pedal. "Residual lubricant reduced the retention of the pad to the pedal," whatever the fuck that means! Do they have soap on Mars?
Do they have weed on Mars?
As one recent owner of Elon “King Twat” Musk’s uber-expensive-ugly, future Mars explorer, recently found out, even a car wash was able to defeat the 6,600-pound heap.. The owner paid a routine visit to a car wash to get sand off the truck after a beach visit. This caused the entire vehicle to shut down. The center console went blank, turning the stainless steel monstrosity into a giant brick. No surprise when you consider... "Failure to put Cybertruck in Car Wash Mode may result in damage," the company's manual reads. "Damage caused by car washes is not covered by the warranty."
So, it’ll just stay shitty then!
You have to laugh at the news that former White House adviser Stephen Miller believes Der Trumpf "changed American fashion" forever because he was a "style icon." He shared his totally fucked up views on the former U.S. president's sartorial looks during a typically soft ball appearance on Ace Wanker, Sean Hannity's Fox Fake news show. The conversation started when Hannity complained about a New York Times article that described President Joe Biden as "dapper," which led Miller to make his claims. 'Cos he's a wanker.
Orange goes well with orange!!!
My good friend and ex workmate, Edward O’meara, points us in the direction of WPP’s annual report. As usual it is full of all the old ad biz cliches, such as... “Our Vision” To be the most creative company in the world. “Our Purpose” We use the power of creativity to build better futures for our people, planet, clients and communities. What a load of old bollocks. Dear old David must be spinning under the turf at Chateau Toufou.
Welcome to WPP...
Remember Sarah Huckabee Sanders? She was the White House Press Secretary for Der Trumpf, who became famous for ignoring the press and never taking questions. Now she’s the Governor of Arkansas, and is in a bit of bother, cos she just blew $19,000 for a lectern for her office. Maybe she’s going to start taking questions now. Ya think it might be gold plated and signed by Der ObergropenFuhrer?
A matching shitter is on order.
Oh yeah, Der Trumpf begins his first mega-legal debacle day. As I write this, he has just entered the New York court room for the first day of his criminal trial concerning the hush money bribes he paid to the adult film star Stormy Daniels and the Playboy model Karen McDougal to keep them from spilling the beans just before the election Then hiding it as legal fees. The betting is all about how long he can keep his big orange gob shut during the next couple of months. Easy money there...
It won’t be long.
