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Today is February 29th, cos it’s a Leap Year. So, if you are born on this date, do you only have a birthday every four years? This would mean that famed composer, Gioachino Rossini, who was born February 29th, 1792, was only 19 when he died 76 years later in 1868. Which would make him younger than Mozart... And more prolific for his age. Further proof that here at AdScam, we only ask the really important shit.
That deserves a drink!!!
This just in... Der Trumpf has offered the New York appeals court a bond of only $100 million to pause the more than $450 million judgment he faces in his civil fraud case, he added that he might need to sell some of his properties unless he gets relief. The only relief the fucktard deserves is a glass of Alka Seltzer. It’s a gob smacking acknowledgment that he is racing the clock to either secure a bond from a sucker or produce the full amount himself and lacks the resources to do so. Without a bond, the NY attorney general’s office, which brought the fraud case, could seek to collect from Trump at any moment. Yeah!!!
Maybe he could sell one of his casinos. Oh, wait a minute.
Joke news channel... Fox... Never ceases to amaze me at how low they will go in their never-ending efforts to suck up to the MAGA ”Morans.” Now Fox News host Jesse Watters has linked Biden's love of ice cream to Alzheimer's disease. He made the asinine comments when the president spoke to reporters while eating ice cream after taping a segment for NBC's Late Night with Seth Meyers. In his infinite wisdom, Walters explained... "You know who lights up for ice cream? Children and the elderly. There's a reason caregivers deliver ice cream to their patients in nursing homes." He then explained that the Alzheimer's Association says ice cream is "a favorite for people with diminished faculties." Kinda like the Fox News audience! What a douchenozzle.
Whereas Trump will Big Mac himself to death.
The other day, I did a post about Elon Musk’s rusty car company, Tesla, stiffing a pie company in San Jose after ordering 4,000 pies, then cancelling without payment just before delivery. Apparently, Elon has searched behind the cushions on his solid gold recliner and come up with the $2,000 in loose change necessary to pay the bill. What a guy... I promise never to say a bad thing about him ever again.
As Zippy the Pin Head would say... Nahhh!!!
My good friend and ace AdScamer, Carol Sargent, knowing my distaste for the “Celebrity” TV spots we are currently besieged by, reminds me of one from 2021 for the BIC EZ Reach lighter, featuring the unusual duo of Marha Stewart and Snoop Dog. She uses it to light candles. He uses it for, you'll never guess what? Snoop Dogg wryly asks Stewart to share a bowl with him, but she pretends not to understand. Yeah... Right.
Uncle Willie understands.
But as we say, IVF — used in about two percent of all births today — is also a very popular procedure, even among Bible-believin’ “pro-life” Republican couples who want 1) a baby and 2) to see asylum seekers shot dead at the border because we have to have laws or we’re not even a country anymore.
More good news...
I’m sure that by now you have seen the news about how Elon “King Twat” Musk’s rusty Tesla company ordered 4,000 pies for Valentines Day from a San Jose bakery, then cancelled the order at the last minute and stiffed them for thousands of dollars. Musk says he will “make things good,” whatever the fuck that means. However, as of yesterday the owner of the pie shop still has not received payment from Tesla, although according to a local TV station, the company did offer her a tour of the factory. Oh fuck, yes indeed. That’ll fix it.
Pie in the face for Der Trumpf.
Over at the MADblog, my good mate, Barbara Lippert, has an excellent piece “The Business of Businessing” on how we mangle language to make a more pronounced impression on the audience. Well worth a read. Here’s the comment I left... Nice one Barbara. When I lived in California, driving up to San Francisco for my stint at Chiat, the radio station I was listening to went to "Chopper Five" for the traffic forcast. Over the throbbing of the rotors (I always suspected that this was a recording and there was no actual "Chopper Five," let alone Chopper one, two, three, or four,) the traffic guy announced... "There's an extra heavy vehicular loading situation on the Bay Bridge." Meaning, I assume, there's a lot of traffic.... As I love to say on AdScam... "Cease this faggotry at once."
Indeed!!!
With all the hoopla about AI I was interested to see that the Lincoln Project, a conservative anti Trump group, has just created an ad using artificial intelligence to bring Der Trump’s dad, Fred, who died 30 years ago, back to life. Fred left the Obergropenfhurer a nice little nest egg of $500 million fucking dollars, which he then proceeded to blow. In the ad Daddy Trump gives “Donnie” a verbal thumping, basically calling him a big loser and pretty darn dumb to boot. “You couldn’t even make money off a casino, you fuck-up,” he scolds at one point. Nice one Dad.
$500 million doesn't last long when you are a fucktard.
Hold on to your seat... There’s even more exciting news about wanna be holding company... Stagwell. You will be thrilled to hear that they are shortening their name from “Team Enterprizes” to “Team.” Reminds me of when J. Walter Thompson shortened their name to JWT. Then a year later changed it back to J. Walter Thompson. Team CEO, Dan Gregory explains the thinking behind this revolutionary change... “Our new brand identity and focused purpose captures who we’ve always been and will continue to be – a dynamic Team focused on creating transformative brand experiences for communities ... who share passions, careers, cultures, hobbies, and everything in between.” Should I move the multi million dollar AdScam account to “Team?”
Not even after a fourth Martini.
