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As I’ve been posting recently about the deluge of high-priced celebs, brand ambassadors and sports fucktards who will be gracing the “telly” during the Super Bowl, and long before. I nearly choked on my breakfast beer when I read that Serena Williams, who I posted on Thursday will be doing a Michelob Ultra ad, is also doing an ad for Remy Martin Cognac. Fuck me... Talk about from the sublime to the ridiculous.
Work it out...
Ace AdScammer, Lisa Jay, she of the infallible “Kate-Dar,” points us in the direction of the news that British actress, Ellie Bamber will star as our beloved Kate in the upcoming feature film “Moss & Freud,” with Kate herself serving as executive producer. The film will show how in the early 2,000’s, at the peak of her fame, (She’s still at a peak!!!) she agreed to sit for famed British artist Lucian Freud. who died in 2011 aged 88 - over an arduous, intense nine-month period at his studio in Holland Park. She stayed with him at the end, hugging him on his death bed. Freud will be played by Derek Jacobi of “I Claudius” and many other great movies fame. Should be damned good. Sign me up for the premiere.
In the gallery...
In the studio...
In the bed...
Fake beer... Michelob Ultras Super Bowl spots are on air weeks before the actual event, and apparently it’s some kind of Caddyshack rip off featuring hordes of uber expensive “Brand Ambassadors” including Serena Williams and Brian Cox getting mega-millions for pretending to be excited about playing the world’s most boring sport. Still, as Ricardo Marques, VP of marketing for the Nuns Piss brand, said in an interview... “This is a special, exciting moment for golf. It is, more than ever, joyful, fun and diverse. And we believe it’s crossing into pop culture in ways we haven’t seen before. That’s meaningful for us in how it beautifully aligns with our point of view as a brand. It’s a beautiful way to articulate our point of view at this particular moment in time.” I have no fucking idea what he is saying, and I daresay... Neither does he.
Now you’re talking...
ZuckerNozzle’s dream of a future in the metaverse is costing investors a boatload of money. In other words, it’s becoming the Titanic of Techdom (Boatload... Titanic... Get it? Subtle I ain’t.) In its earnings report after the bell yesterday, Meta said its Reality Labs division, home to the company’s virtual reality technologies and projects, posted a $4.28 billion operating loss in the fourth quarter, bringing its total for 2022 to $13.72 billion. Still, it’s only money... Which doesn’t exist in the Metaverse. So, get your giant $1,500 goggles on and go play with your avatar.
Getting “legless” in the Metaverse.
You have to laugh at the “chutzpa” of the average corporate CEO who whilst trousering millions as their company is circling the toilet bowl of doom, are claiming everything in the garden is loverrrrly. Todays example... Peloton CEO, Barry McCarthy who told investors he isn’t concerned that its bikes, treads and rows lost money during its holiday quarter, cos they’re going to make bucket loads with its mobile app. As he so succinctly put it... “We take a holistic view of the revenue stream and the expenses associated with both the hardware and the subscription associated with it. So, from my part, I don’t particularly care about the hardware margin I care about it on an aggregate basis, and I care about the relationship between the lifetime value of the customer relative to the cost of acquisition.” What a load of tripe... Bonus time???
Tripe indeed!!!
Following on from my post of Monday about how the rich buggers are having to rough it on reduced millions... News just in that in anticipation of a downturn in business, chip giant, Intel, is cutting the pay of its managers and senior execs instead of laying them off. However, the cuts only affect base salaries and some other minor benefits. They will not affect the bonuses and stocks that make up a significant part of the douchenozzles overall package. Last year, Intel CEO, Paul Gelsinger, trousered $26.3mn, with only $1.25mn of that representing the base pay that is subject to the cut. The rest is set to come in the form of an expected cash bonus and long-term incentive equity award. There are always various ways to keep the gravy flowing.
Cohiba, Old Chap?
After this weekend’s play-off games, we now know who will be competing in the Super Bowl... You know, that sporting event, like the world series of baseball where the World Champs will be decided amongst the Yanks only teams! Anyway, we’ve already been exposed to 90% of the ads that will be running at $7 million a pop. Most of them are about as creative as my arse... And virtually all of them feature celebrities, who are probably being paid millions to tout shit they wouldn’t in reality pay good money for, let alone crypto currency. Never forget Last year’s game had a spot from disastrous company FTX featuring Larry David. That went well didn't it?
Not as creative as my arse, either...
You have to have sympathy for the poor CEO’s of major banks who are having their outrageous salaries slashed to mere millions from mega-millions, simply “cos they are doing a lousy job. David M. Solomon, CEO of Goldman Sachs just had his salary reduced from $35 million to a paltry $25 million. How is the rich fucker going to get by on that? Just because the bank he runs has lost billions on its experiment in consumer banking, don’t take it out on the person responsible. Fire some workers. You can always get more.
Wanna be a Wanker... Ooops... Banker?
