AdScam/The Horror!

Surprise... Surprise... Trump needs your money.

Within hours of being indicted for the second time, Der Trumpf was on his pathetic “Truth Social” site telling his MAGA “Morans” that he needed their welfare checks to pay for his defense. This from the self-proclaimed billionaire. As he puts it so cringingly well... “I am an innocent man. I did nothing wrong.” Perhaps his son-in-law, Jared, can contribute from the two billion dollars he got from the Saudis when he stepped down from his mostly made up Presidential Adviser fake job. Yah think? As Zippy would put it so well... Naaaah.

Never ignore Zippy!!!

It’s T.G.I.K.M.F. Again...

For your delectation... 

Trump goes for a “Foursome.”

With the news today that Der Trumpf has been indicted on federal charges concerning his retention of classified documents at his byzantine Mar a Lago dump, and will have to appear in court next Tuesday, this updates his scorecard with... Impeachment... TWICE. Indictment... TWICE. Bigly indeed. And it ain’t over yet. There’s all kinds of shit still to come down the road. Couldn’t happen to a more deserving Fucktard.

It ain’t over yet...

Trump gets ready to fondle the Moms.

This just in... Moms for Liberty, a self-described “grassroots parental rights” group, has been labeled an “anti-government extremist organization.” No surprise that just before the announcement, Der Trumpf stated that he would be one of the several douchenozzle Republican presidential candidates to speak at the annual Moms for Liberty summit later this month. No surprise there. The big question is... After his lame-brained speech, will he wander the halls grabbing the assembled Moms by the pussy? After all, they should not be surprised if he does. He’s on record as saying, “They love it when you do it, cos you are a star.” So, Moms... Get yourselves ready to be fondled by the Orange Obergropenfuhrer Star!!!

Trump's Tiny Gropentools!!!

Hannity Puffs on about Pollution.

Because of the massive Canadian wildfires, the air quality on the East Coast is so bad that many flights at La Guardia are being grounded, and people are being encouraged to wear masks when outside. Obviously, the Fox Fucktards are objecting to this as more “Woke” bullshit. Ace medical expert, Sean Hannity tells his MAGA “Moran” viewers that masks are not necessary as he is not experiencing any shortage of breath. Plus, he’s super fit cos he works out regularly. Doesn’t look like much of a workout to me! Plus... You can’t smoke with a mask on!

It’s happening again!!!

The Cannes Festival of “Creative Fuckaroola” is almost upon us. Scheduled to take place from June 19^th to the 21^st It will now feature “Titanium and “Innovation” Lions, whatever the fuck that means. When I won my first one, there were four categories. TV, radio, print and billboards. So, it was easy. And the entry fees where also about ten quid. Today, there are more than ten thousand categories and the entry fees are more than ten thousand quid. Which is also about the going rate for the hookers on La Croisette.

I also make a great 200 quid Mimosa!

Gaetz Doesn’t Pass Gas...

Yesterday, Matt Gaetz and a bunch of fellow loonies, including Lauren “I’m a grandma” Boebert, blocked a rules passage that would prevent the Woke Communist, Fascist, Rastafarian, Mormons, from taking our loverrrrly gas stoves. Yet, in January Gaetz declared that he would not give up his gas stove unless it was pried from his “COLD DEAD HANDS!” Now, he’s apparently placed his indignation on the backburner in order to get back at Kevin McCarthy, for doing the debt deal with Biden. After Debbie Lesko (R-Ariz.) proposed the Save Our Gas Stoves Act Jared Moskowitz (D-Fla.)  introduced several amendments to the act mocking the entire bill. In one he called for the creation of the position of “Supreme Allied Gas Commander” in the Department of Energy “to police the use and sale of gas stoves.” The congressman also proposed a statue honoring gas stoves be placed in Statuary Hall. Lesko defended her bill before Gaetz and company threw her under the bus!

Don’t mess with Grannie Boebert’s stove.

Apple Toy Update...

On Friday I posted about the launch of Apple’s Reality Pro Headset. I said is was obviously a steal at a mere three thousand dollars. News today, however, that it will actually be given away for a mere three and a half thousand dollars. Hey... It’s just fucking dollars.

God Jobs Speaks Truth!!!

Fire up the gold-plated golf carts...

As further proof that golf is not a sport, but in reality is merely an excuse for old fucktards to ride around in golf carts before heading for the club house to get fucked up... News today that the PGA Tour and LIV Golf, the fake league bankrolled by billions of dollars from Saudi Arabia’s sovereign wealth fund, said that they had agreed to a merger. In a joint statement that included the DP World Tour, the wealth fund and the PGA Tour said the former rivals would “implement a plan to grow these combined commercial businesses, drive greater fan engagement and accelerate growth initiatives already underway.” In other words, they are going to rake in even more millions from the douchenozzles dumb enough to play this pathetic non-sport.

Sport? As Zippy would say... Nahhh.”

Wanna buy an ad agency?

As I have posted previously, Alissa Heinerscheid, VP of Mucking About at Bud Light, blamed the agency for making her do the Dylan Mulvaney fiasco. Yeah right! Anyway, my good mate and Ace AdScamer, Brian Croner, points us in the direction of a piece in the New York Post that tells us all about the agency, Captiv8, a San Mateo, Calif.-based firm that pairs social media influencers with major consumer brands. Oh yeah, that worked for Bud Light, didn’t it? The usual old bollocks in todays ad biz. This just in...Bud has fired Captiv8.

This weeks winner is...

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