AdScam/The Horror!

Nuns Piss marketer pulls down big bucks before going under the bus.

AdScamer, “DavidO” points us in the direction of this piece in yesterday’s British Daily Mail... “Bud Light marketing VP who lost her job over $26 billion Dylan Mulvaney mistake is tight-lipped outside her $8m Central Park home - as her friend says: 'She can't talk about it'. That’s right VP of marketing, Alissa Heinerscheid, took a leave of absence (corporate chat for being thrown under the bus) following the shit storm that happened after the decision to use Dylan Mulvaney for its March Madness campaign. Heinerscheid claims the agency made her do it. Oh yeah... AB InBev doesn’t want to upset the ad agency. What a load of fucking cobblers. And what kind of cash was she trousering to afford an eight fucking million dollar New York apartment?

The agency made me do it!!!

It’s a Kate Moss “Floral Friday.”

There’s an extra F in T.G.I.K.M.F.F. Today.

A Floral Frisson.

A Frolicking Floral.

A Non-Fungible Floral.

“Trust & Safety” - A Twitter Oxymoron!

Elon “King Twat” musk is once again the richest fucker in the universe, snatching the crown from the gnarly head of rich French fucker, Bernard Arnault of LVMH. According to the Bloomberg Billionaires Index, the Tesla wankers net worth was estimated at $192 billion as of May 31. This is mostly due to Tesla stock, certainly not Twitter as that nightmare continues to circle the pan. Meanwhile, Twitter’s head of trust and safety is resigning, Ella Irwin, who oversaw the site’s content moderation efforts was at the company for just under a year. Ya think it’s got anything remotely  to do with Musk gutting the site’s content moderation efforts, which is one of the main reasons why so many big advertisers are calling it a day?

Surely you mean “Oxymoran?”

Cannes wise... AB InBev is in the shit. .

If you ever needed further proof that the ad biz is totally fucked up, news that Nuns Piss brewers, AB InBev will be honored at the Cannes Fuck-Up Festival next week as the first back-to-back winner of Creative Marketer of the Year award. Perfect timing when you consider how deep in the shit it is because of its partnership with Dylan Mulvaney. Bud Light Sales and AB InBev share price are in a deep, deep hole. having plummeted as Bud Light’s MAGA “Morans” revolt over the connection. Better switch to Mimosas on the Croisette, guys.

We do "Creative Marketing."

Der Trumpf... Der Spy.

Der Trumpf keeps digging himself deeper and deeper into bad legal shit. The latest being that US prosecutors have obtained an audio recording of Der Obergropenfuhrer in which he acknowledges keeping a classified document after leaving the White House. The tape contradicts his never-ending argument that he declassified all material he removed from the White House. It could also prove to be a key piece of evidence if prosecutors seek to show that he was aware he should not be in possession of classified documents after leaving office. If it ever comes to trial and he is found guilty of violating the Espionage Act, he could be looking at serious jail time!

There are no comb overs in the poky...

Twitter continues to twirl round the pan!

Why am I not surprised to read that Twitter may now be worth one third of what Elon “King Twat” Musk paid for it just seven months ago. Financial services company Fidelity has just reduced the market value of its equity stake in Twitter for a third time, now putting it at $6.55 billion. That's down from the nearly $20 billion Fidelity valued its stake at in October. Never mind, as Everet Dirksen once said... “A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon you’re talking real money.” A few thousand more layoffs and Elon can fix that.

I’m renaming Twitter as Toke!

Old Dons still Dick crazy!

With the news that 83-year-old Al Pacino is still dipping his wick and so has made his girlfriend, 29-year-old Noor Alfallah “Preggers.” You must wonder if he is merely trying to emulate his pal, 79-year-old Robert De Niro, who recently announced his seventh child with a much younger partner. You also have to wonder what the fuck is driving them, and what the fuck are they medicating on to keep this shit up along with their schlongs?

Put a sock on it!!!

Could you serve it in gold goblets?

Sticking with all the essential billionaire fucktard news. This just in... Jeff Bezos, and Lauren Sanchez, celebrated their engagement with some very pricey and rare booze in the South of France last week. Taking a break from the humdrum of lolling about on his $500 million yacht, they popped out for dinner to La Petite Maison in Cannes. Whilst noshing on caviar and gold-plated lobster, they ordered a $4,285 bottle of Dugat-Py Grand Cru. As several people have pointed out, you can buy this nectar on-line for about $500. Not on Amazon, though.

Cos, you can’t get $5,000 wine!

How about shredded “Zuck” for breakfast?

OK, from now on, ZuckerNozzle wants all the Meta “Morans” to run a “shredded “company, which is corporate bollocks for making less money, fewer perks and eventually being laid off. But to prove he’s just one of the guys, he tells us on Facebook that on Memorial Day he did a “shredded” workout by the name of the “Murph Challenge.” Invented by a Navy SEAL who was killed in action in Afghanistan in 2005, it involves running a mile, then doing 100 pull ups, 200 pushups, 300 squats, and then running another mile -- all while wearing a 20lb weighted pack," which in the case of ZuckerNozzle are solid gold ingots from his Fort Knox stash.

“Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.” George Orwell. 1984

 

The end is nigh... If not now!!!

With the news today that BDHC, WPP, has teamed up with chipmaker Nvidia to create ads using artificial intelligence. There’s no question that anyone with half a brain (a real one) should reconsider their future in the ad biz. Cos, even if you think it’s fucked now, it’s soon going to be fucked beyond all recognition. Nvidia (NVDA) CEO Jensen Huang tells us that “Generative AI is changing the world of marketing at incredible speed. This new technology will transform the way brands create content for commercial use. It will enable creative teams (Bots) to integrate content from Images with AI to produce really bad shit campaigns “more efficiently and at scale.” Which is corporate bullshit for “faster and cheaper.”  This will enable agencies to make large volumes of really bad content “more tailored and immersive.” Like I said... “Faster and cheaper.”

You can perhaps take up dancing for a living!