AdScam/The Horror!

Just a few spare million down the drain!!!

I nearly choked on my breakfast beer when I read the headline on ABC News... “As Elizabeth Holmes heads to prison for fraud, many puzzle over her motives.” Listen you dumb fucks. The answer is simple and can be summed up in one word... Greed. Best bit is the news that of all the fucktards who invested billions in her fake company, two of my favorite evil wankers got conned for millions... Oracle co-founder Larry “Ninja” Ellison and Rupert “Wizened of Oz” Murdoch. During my long and somewhat checkered “Mad Man” career I had the misfortune to work on Oracle and The Sun. Both very, very bad experiences.

Douchenozzle.

Fucktard.

Down with Flat Chest “Morans.”

Yes, it’s T.G.I.K.M.F and in the spirit of my last post Kate’s “Globes” will be on full display.

Enjoy.  

Only the best science at AdScam!!!

The recently elected District Chair of the Georgia GOP is adamant that the “Woke” mob is engaged in a giant conspiracy to convince us that the earth is a globe, when every God fearing nutter knows that it is flat. On a recent podcast titled “Jesus, Guns and Babies” (What else?) she said... "Everywhere there's globes. You see them all the time, it's constant. My children will be like 'Mama, globe, globe, globe, globe' — they're everywhere. And that's what they do to brainwash us." You will not be surprised to learn that she, like Trump, claimed her 2022 bid for Georgia governor against Gov. Brian Kemp in the Republican primary was "rigged" and refused to concede despite only winning 3.7 percent of the vote. I mean c’mon, that’s a tidal wave. Oh wait. If the earth is flat, there wouldn’t be any tidal waves. Come to AdScam for “bigly” science

Told ya... 

Same old... Same old...

You will be thrilled to know that your members of Congress have all gone home for their Memorial holiday four-day weekend. After all, they’ve been working their arse off to avoid the collapse of America if we don’t resolve the debt ceiling crises. Or, have they? Who knows? They work in wondrous ways, mostly to their own benefit. Never forget, even though my social security benefit might not show up, they’ll still be trousering their $174,000 annual paycheck. How long can this fucking insanity continue? That's a dumb question. 

Forever. 

Twitter Spaces Out for DeSantis.

Apparently last night’s much ballyhooed announcement of Ron DeSantis’s 2024 campaign launch with Elon “King Twat” Musk on Twitter Spaces was a giant fucking disaster, repeatedly crashing and the sound dropping out constantly. Musk said that the servers appeared to be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people logging on. The fact that he’s fired virtually all the people who could have fixed it might have something to do with it. Musk also acknowledged the issues once the Twitter Spaces event finally got up and running. “You can tell by some of the mistakes that this is real,” he said. No shit, Elon!!!

Words of encouragement for DeSantis from Disney. 

Chief Justice, or Chief Jerk Off?

In the “You can’t make this shit up” category,” just yesterday John Roberts, the chief justice of SCOTUS, said he and the other justices were working to hold themselves to the “highest standards” of ethical conduct. This douchenozzle is either mentally deranged, or a bigger liar than Der Trumpf. He was speaking the same day lawyers for Harlan Crow said the Republican mega-donor would not cooperate with the Senate judiciary committee looking into Clarence Thomas’s mega-million undeclared gifts that the Hitler aficionado has showered him with over the years. Whadda ya think... Loony or Liar?

Just doing his “High Standard” job.

Marjorie Taylor Green has chapped lips. Any horrendously expensive suggestions?

With registered nut case, Marjorie Taylor Green, bidding $100,000 for McCarthy’s used and snot covered Chapstick, you have to wonder if this country can become even more bizarre. Or, as Rep Ilhan Omar put it... ‘they are doing this insane Chapstick shit while the country teeters on default.” And over at Mother Jones, Jeremy Schulman explains... “This story is less about the gross Chapstick than it is about a lame inside joke involving the most extreme lawmaker in the United States transferring wads of cash to the most spineless. So, totally normal stuff.” Indeed... Indeed...

Fucktards run rampant...

Ice cream with booze. Delishioso!

News just in that my long time English friend and mucker, John Truscott, has decided to call it a day as the head honcho of West Coast agency, High, Wide & Handsome, a successful shop specializing in booze and grub accounts. I worked with John back in the seventies at Cogent, Elliot, a hot agency at the time in Solihull and London. Whilst there he taught me how to play “Real Tennis.” That’s the original version of tennis, invented in France (Jeu de Paume) and played enthusiastically in England by such notables as Henry VIII, when he wasn’t shagging and beheading his wives. I moved back to America in the eighties. So did John. I was in New York, he was in LA, where he worked at Chiat, then he left to start of all things an ice cream business. The Man­hat­tan Beach Cream­ery. Unsurprisingly, based on our many boozy nights in various British pubs and bars, many of John’s cus­tom con­cocted ice cream fla­vors included sig­nif­i­cant quan­ti­ties of lager, stout or ale—which may explain why small children always left his shop feeling drowsy. Nice one John, may as well get the little buggers started early. Good luck with whatever comes next.

Damn... This ice cream is good.

Jamie’s Trousering It.

Jamie “He who can do no wrong” Dimon, faced questions at JP Morgan’s investor gathering yesterday about who will succeed him eventually. However, hwill be hard to replace when you consider some of the giant fuck ups he has reigned over, including the “London Whale” and the gigantic WeWork losses. Yet, in spite of these and others, Jamie’s pay is $34.5 million annually, and his net worth is $2 BILLION. Anyway, he ain’t going anywhere until after 2026. Cos that when he’s scheduled to get a FIFTY MILLION DOLLAR bonus. That’ll be on top of the $34.5 million, which by then will probably be more than $50 million. Good job he can count.

Not to mention...

Talk about earning it!!!

With all the news about the so-called “negotiations” taking place about the raising of the debt ceiling. The main concern is that if the MAGA “Morans” take us over the cliff, everything from veterans benefits to social security will not get paid. However, the good news is that all those "hard working" members of Congress will still trouser their monthly paycheck. Which just adds up to a paltry $174,000. Per year.  How is a rich fucktard going to exist on that? Cut down on the Cohibas perhaps?

What’s a Veteran?