« April 23, 2023 - April 29, 2023 | Main | May 7, 2023 - May 13, 2023 »
For some weird reason Typepad, the host for AdScam, went a bit wonky yesterday. It posted my last piece “Gun Garbage” FIVE fucking times. Then, worst of all, it wouldn’t post my usual T.G.I.K.M.F. Kate was pissed... I was pissed... No doubt Canadian AdScamer “Ray – Eh” was well and truly pissed. Everything is back to normal now.
So, here’s a T.G.I.K.M.S. Get it?
Interesting to see the different reactions to mass shootings here and in other counties. After the one in Christchurch, New Zealand a couple of years ago, the government completely banned all assault weapons. The day after the Serbian school shooting on Wednesday, the Interior Ministry appealed to all gun owners to store their guns with care, locked up in safes or closets so they are out of reach of others, particularly children”. Police will do spot checks at registered gun owners' homes to ensure they keep weapons safe and those who are found to be negligent could be charged. Oh wow, can you imagine the outcry in America if a squad of police knocked on your door and entered to check on your bazooka collection? What’s wrong with “Thoughts and Prayers.”
Hallelujah Bollocks...
Don’t forget to put the kettle on in plenty of time so you can sit back and enjoy the coronation of King Charles III on Saturday. Queen Camila will also be there, although she can’t wear the crown that includes the Koh-i-Noor diamond, because it is cursed for wearers... But only if they are men. Figure that shit out. Harry will be there, but no Meghan. She’s staying at home to look after the kids and count the dosh. Although Der Trumpf is currently over there visiting his bankrupt Scottish golf courses, he ain’t invited. Even though, in promoting his latest joke of a book, he claims the royal family loves to kiss his arse.
Ivanka also loves my arse. She has no choice.
Over in the evil banking world the shit is starting to hit the fan on an almost daily basis. Regional bank PacWest Bancorp.’s share price fell by nearly 53% in after-hours trading Wednesday, after Bloomberg reported it was considering a sale. But not to worry... PacWest said this morning that customer deposits have been on the rise since the end of March, and they haven’t seen “out-of-the-ordinary deposit flows” following the collapse and sale of First Republic Bank earlier this week. Oh, right then. Nothing to get excited about. As Jamie Dimon “Chief Fucktard” of JP Morgan which took over First Republic, hastened to assure us that the US banking system was “extraordinarily sound”, adding that the takeover meant the sector was “getting near the end” of the spate of bank collapses and would “hopefully help stabilize everything”. Besides which, just as they did during the banking crisis of 2008, the US taxpayer will likely end up footing the bill.
Gotta keep those bonuses flowing.
As of today, anyone accessing the Pornhub site from a Utah-based IP address doesn't get to see the Pornhub homepage, but instead is met with a video of Cherie DeVille, adult performer and member of the Adult Performer Advocacy Committee, (What the fuck?) explaining that they won't be able to visit the site ‘cos you might be an underage Mormon missionary and you can’t go spreading that filth when you knock on doors making an attempt to convert douchenozzles to the Church of the Latter Day Saints. Which effort usually enjoys a more than pathetic 99.99% unsuccessful rate.
Send me $100. I’ll tithe $10 to the Church, then I’ll send you a bunch of my “Naughty pics.”
Following on from my post of yesterday about the current situation at “The Poisoned Dwarf’s” S4Capital, MediaPost informs us that a Sorrell succession plan is finally being developed. Sorrell is 78 and is currently undergoing treatment following surgery to remove a tumor, so there is concern that without an effective succession plan, it could have a significant impact on the share price and market view of the Group. However, Sorrell is doing a Murdoch and plans to remain in charge ‘til he finally goes to the big Holding Company in the Sky, He recently informed us that other than a reduction in travel he will be “fully engaged” in the company’s affairs. "Business as usual," he added. These old fuckers just won’t let go.
Before you kick it!!!
Interesting piece over at MoreAboutAdvertising... “Is S4 Capital’s brave bid to challenge the ad establishment running out of gas?” It points out that the Poisoned Dwarf’s wanna be empire is now valued at less than half what it was a while ago. As my good mate Stephen further explains, one of the difficulties Sorrell faces is that now everyone else is trying to do the same as S4 Capital to a greater or lesser degree, including the giant media owners themselves as Google, Facebook and the like enlist AI to take human wankers out of the equation. Whoever (eventually) takes over S4 Capital will have a job on their hands. The company got off to such a flying start in large part through the backing of well-heeled supporters in the City. They may see a sale as the best way to realize their investment. Sorrell is now 78 and recovering from surgery. Martin... Fuck it, why not go and enjoy your millions. But he won’t.
He could take up gardening.
You have to admire the chutzpa of Bernie Saunders (and I do) for not minding who he pisses off with his provocative statements. His latest and greatest? The US government should confiscate 100% of any money that Americans make above $999 million. He added... You may disagree with me but, fine, I think people can make it on $999m. I think that they can survive just fine.” He also notes the much unappreciated fact that one-tenth of one percent of the US population owns ninety percent of the nation’s wealth, among other things.
Indeed!!!
You will be thrilled to know that Der Trump has just arrived in Scotland as the first part of his visit to his numerous financially fucked golf clubs. He intends to play lots of golf in-between having all his many royal admirers kiss his arse. Referring to his Scottish roots, Trump told reporters that "it’s great to be home". Yes, his mother was from the isle of Lewis, but the rest of the family were Nazis from Kallstadt, Germany. In fact, his grandfather (Who pretended to be Swedish) tried to return to Germany, but they refused to have him. Will his next set of NFT’s show him in a kilt?
This is more like it.
To quote from an article in The Daily Beast, music really does have charms to soothe a savage breast, as unsuspecting concertgoers in California found out on Friday night. After the Los Angeles Philharmonic’s performance that evening, multiple attendees emerged to claim—on social media and to the Los Angeles Times—that a woman in the audience had experienced what sounded like an orgasm in the middle of Tchaikovsky’s fifth symphony. “I saw the girl after it had happened, and I assume that she... had an orgasm because she was heavily breathing, and her partner was smiling and looking at her—like in an effort to not shame her,” one witness told the Los Angeles Times. “It was quite beautiful.” Twitter users variously described the sound as that of a “loud and full body orgasm,” a “fingerbanging orgasm,” and a “SCREAMING orgasm,” with an audio clip of the alleged moment being posted shortly after. Lukas Burton told the Times that the woman’s gasp was “wonderfully timed” to a “romantic swell” in the music. “One can’t know exactly what happened, but it seemed very clear from the sound that it was an expression of pure physical joy.” Holy shit. Does her boyfriend wear earplugs when they fuck?
For God’s sake, don’t play Beethoven’s Ninth!!!
