AdScam/The Horror!

Wanna really great title?.

Why do BDHC’s love to talk shit as they unveil grandiose, meaningless titles? Nevertheless, you will be thrilled to learn that Interpublic’s McCann Worldgroup has just appointed Nathan Brown as Global Chief Audience Architect, a new role for the company. Sounds like a new role for anyone. We are told he will be responsible for building an audience planning global practice that provides understanding of people and their behavior across devices, content and platforms. Furthermore, “In today’s world, where brands need to move in sync with their audiences, we must bring the best of the media mindset deep into the heart of the creative process.” I have no fucking idea what any of that means. 

Good Advice.

Yeah... Yeah...

OK, OK, it's T.G.I.K.M.F. 

Keep your shirt on when Kate takes hers off.

Enjoy.

 

Finally... 

Motherfuckers still can’t speak English.

Elon Musk’s SpaceX Starship didn’t explode minutes after takeoff yesterday, instead, according to a SpaceX spokes-hack it experienced a “rapid unscheduled disassembly!” Reminds me of the time years ago when I was driving from San Jose to San Francisco up route 101. The traffic report came on the radio and some wanker in “Chopper 5” informed me that there was “an extra-heavy vehicular loading situation” on the bay bridge. Fucktards... One and all.

Works every time.

MyPillow Fucktard gets Fucked!!!

The MyPillow “Moran”, Mike Lindell, has been ordered by an arbitration panel to cough up the $5 million he owes Robert Zeidman, a software developer from Nevada, who took him up on the challenge “Prove Mike Wrong,” by looking at the data he had used for his claim that the Chinese had interfered with the election. According to filings in the ensuing case, Zeidman, a Trump supporter, did not expect to win any money—to the contrary, he believed he might even see “an election overturned.” But when Zeidman analyzed the 11 files Lindell had made available, he concluded that they did not, in fact, “contain any information related to the November 2020 election.” And that Lindell was full of shit. And we should not forget that Lindell is the subject of a $1.3 billion defamation lawsuit filed by Dominion Voting Systems. And, he's also the target of a separate defamation lawsuit in Minnesota by a different voting machine company, Smartmatic.

Guess who’s crying in their pillow?

 

I’m a CMO... And I’m an idiot.

There’s a long and somewhat tedious article over at MediaPost about the current sorry state of the BDA’s. Buried in it, there is however this... Average CMO tenure hit 40 months in 2020, which was the lowest it had been since 2009. And the average client-agency relationship is almost the same:  3.2 years. Agencies and clients are meant to be partners in this industry, working together for long-term brand growth. Yeah right, tell that to the average CMO who invariably operates under the “New broom sweeps clean” methodology. That means firing the agency, hiring an agency search consultant and blowing tens of thousands on a dozen agency pitch marathon. Remember the dipshit who became CMO of Avis, and the first thing she did was to tell the agency to get rid of “When you’re Number two... You try harder.” She lasted less than 40 months.

Indeed...

Another nail in the coffin lid of the ad biz!

My good mate, Stephen Foster, over at MoreAboutAdvertising, has a loverrrrly one today... “Now Google wants to be your creative director.” In which he kicks the shit out of what is obviously a dumb idea, but as he points out, one that the BDHC’s will enthusiastically adopt, cos of all dosh they will trouser. Apparently, Google is planning to introduce AI (Yes, that craze du jour) into its ad biz, intending to create ads based on material supplied by marketers and other fucktards. We are enthusiastically assured that “Generative AI is unlocking a world of creativity, Google claims it can “remix” content including imagery, video and text to provide addressable ads (ones which are tailored to individual consumers.) I prefer Stephen’s definition... “Most of the ads you see on most media (Google’s YouTube, off-peak TV) are such crap it wouldn’t make a blind bit of difference if they were produced by AI, or six chimps with a typewriter for that matter.” Nice one Stephen.

Will work for bananas!

Scams-A-Boola!!!

The crypto scams continue unabated. Some weirdo company by the name of “VirtualStax,” obviously a reference to how much moola you are going to make by sending them your actual welfare money by investing in their crypto scam. VirtualStax have claimed the project is valued at $15billion. Unfortunately, the numbers don’t add up. On its website the company states that investors can anticipate “Bigly” returns in early 2022. It’s now 2023 and it ain’t happened. My bet is that it never will.

Damn right. Nothing changes!

It ain’t over ‘til the Fat Fox squeals.

So, the Dominion lawsuit has been settled for dumpster loads of millions. Too bad Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity, Jeanine Pirro and the Wizened of Oz are among the others whose spring outlook just got a little brighter. But keep in mind, Smartmatic is on deck and Dominion still has separate lawsuits against Giuliani, Sidney Powell, Newsmax and OANN, none of whom have the kind of money to throw around that Fox had. Most cringeworthy? A statement from Fox News demonstrated that not even a court record bulging with evidence of perfidy is enough to shame the organization into genuine contrition. “We are pleased to have reached a settlement of our dispute with Dominion Voting Systems. We acknowledge the Court’s rulings finding certain claims about Dominion to be false. This settlement reflects FOX’s continued commitment to the highest journalistic standards.” As PopGoesTheWeasel puts it so well in a comment on my last post...  What the actual fuck? You can't make this shit up ...

I said Fox... Not lady.

Today is the day...

When Fox starts to get its comeuppance. Yes, today is the start of the blockbuster $1.6bn defamation suit between Dominion Voting Systems and Fox and it's happening in a courtroom in Wilmington, Delaware, opening a six-week tribunal that represents one of the most muscular efforts to hold the powerful so-called “news network” accountable for its role in unashamedly spreading numerous lies about the 2020 election. I hope the fuckers get taken for extra billions.

No more marriages for you!!!

Dilly Dilly my Arse!

The hysterics over Bud Light’s partnership with transgender him/her Dylan Mulvaney continues unabated. The latest to jump on the band wagon is none other than Florida’s Fascist governor, Ron DeSantis, who says that Anheuser-Busch is too “Woke” and has lost him as a customer. So, Nuns Piss is now “Woke.” Whoda thunk it? In reply to all the fuss, Anheuser-Busch CEO Brendan Whitworth issued a statement that said, “We never intended to be part of a discussion that divides people. We are in the business of bringing people together over beer.” To that end, they are also bringing back the Clydesdales in recycled spots. But you’ll know they’ve got really desperate if the bring back W+K’s unbelievably fucking bad knights shouting “Dilly - Dilly.”

Worst shit Wieden ever did!!!