AdScam/The Horror!

Another fake American holiday. .

OK, so St. Patrick’s Day is over. Did you drink lots of green beer and swim in a green river? Yes, in America. No, in Ireland. I had to laugh when I read that fucktard Rep. Brian Fitzpatrick (R-Pa.) introduced a bill on Friday to declare St. Patrick’s Day a federal holiday as Americans of Irish decent and some others throughout the country celebrate the day. Point is that when I worked on the Irish Tourist Board account during my Mad Man days in the sixties, I used to go to Ireland a lot. I was actually there on St. Patrick’s Day a couple of times. Fuck all was going on. No green beer, no parades, no marching bands. Not a thing. My mother was Irish, grew up in County Cork. I asked her what special things she did as a kid to celebrate the momentous day... “peel the spuds,” she replied.

When ads were ads...

Another Trump outrageous claim.

Over at HuffPost Princess Di’s brother, Charles Spencer takes the piss out of Der Trumps ludicrous claim whist promoting his forthcoming book “Letters to Trump” that the late Princess Diana was among dozens of high-profile public figures who at some point “kissed my ass.” Including the late Queen Elizabeth II, Russian President Vladimir Putin and North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. “I knew them all — and every one of them kissed my ass, and now I only have half of them kissing my ass,” Trump bragged. Di’s brother’s response was... “She mentioned him to me - when he was using her good name to sell some real estate in New York - she clearly viewed him as worse than an anal fissure.” Nice one Charles!

Takes an arsehole to know an arsehole.

It’s T.G.I.K.M.S.P.D.F.

For your edification...

That’s Thank God It’s Kate Moss Saint Patrick’s Day Friday.

Enjoy...

 

Let’s drink to the Metaverse!

Sticking with Meta-Moronics... According to a series of tweets from Meta’s head of commerce and fintech (What the fuck is that?) Stephane Kasriel, the ZuckerNozzle’s disaster is “winding down digital collectibles (NFTs) for now to focus on other ways to support creators, people, and businesses.” Oh right. That’ll work. Just checked out “Fintech.” It is a company that gives you programs that will allow you to make alcohol management simple by simplifying how alcohol retailers, distributors, and suppliers do business. Ya think maybe ZuckerNozzle has also enrolled in Alcoholics Anonymous?

He said clear out your desk. Not collapse under it.

 

The silence of the Metaverse...

Anyone noticed that ZuckerNozzle hardly ever mentions the Metaverse these days. Now it’s all about AI.... Cos that’s the “Craze du Jour” which gets the rabid investors in the valley all hot and sweaty. The disappearance of the metaverse wouldn't be such a big deal if Zuckerberg hadn't literally rebranded the entire company to follow his metaverse vision as Facebook's extremely expensive "New North Star." In a recent message to the MetaNozzles he explained... "Our single largest investment is in advancing AI and building it into every one of our products. We have the infrastructure to do this at unprecedented scale and I think the experiences it enables will be amazing." Meantime, 23,000 of you fucktards can clean out your desks. Those remaining can learn to live without legs. 

ZuckerNozzle's Creed... 

Cut the chains. Get a life!

So Major League Baseball has placed its account with Weiden + Kennedy who are certainly on a roll with recent big wins and should serve as a lesson for all the BDA’s currently sweating in the flabby arms of their respective BDHC’s. Listen guys... Go independent, stop sending a third of your income to the bean counters at the holding companies. And best of all stop producing shitty work. You might enjoy what you do for a living.

Advice to the BDA’s.

Are you listening?

Interesting to read that Proctor & Gamble, the behemoth of consumer products, is once again starting to pour buckets of money into radio campaigns. After all, they invented radio soap operas a hundred years ago, before shifting the big bucks into TV during the 50’s. I should know, cos in my initial Mad Man days I worked on P&G’s Charmin “Bathroom Tissues,” Never to be referred to as toilet or bog rolls. I also inherited Mr. Whipple played by Canadian Dick Wilson who, incidentally, was the most decorated Pilot in the Battle of Britain and made more than 500 Charmin commercials over forty odd years.

Whodathunkit?

How’s that Metaverse coming along?

News today ZuckerNozzle is planning to lay off 13,000 employees in the next couple of months, this after he laid off 11,000 poor sods in November. As he so succinctly put it... “The world economy changed, competitive pressures grew, and our growth slowed considerably, we should prepare ourselves for the possibility that this new economic reality will continue for many years.” In other words, there’s going to be a lot more shit coming down the road. I thought he had saved a bundle by cutting off the legs of all the avatars occupying the Metaverse.

I’ve got my beady eyes on you!!!

Hate your kids? Vote for Trump.

Never failing to plumb the depths of stupidity, Der Trumpf came up with yet another beauty at Sunday’s campaign rally in Davenport, Iowa. During a rambling and mostly incoherent speech, he asked if anyone in the audience didn’t like their kids. While boasting about how he’d “virtually eliminated” the “unfair estate tax” to protect family farms during his presidency, Trump rambled on about how people don’t actually have to leave anything in their wills to their kids. “If you don’t like your kids that much or if you don’t like them at all, which happens on occasion, don’t leave them a thing,” he said. Tiffany and Eric had better beware...

There's a word for that!!!

Rich fucktards remain rich.

South by Southwest, or SXSW as it’s known amongst the digerati, just took place in Austin, Texas, which used to be a nice place I visited often when I worked on the Dell account at Goldberg, Moser, O’Neil. Now, it’s turned into a clone of Huston. Big, sprawling and shitty. SXSW draws tens of thousands of attendees with long lines for major events clogging up many of Austin’s streets. Apparently, there was initial panic with the news of the Silicon Valley Bank collapse. Then the government came to the rescue guaranteeing the rich douchenozzles deposits, so everyone relaxed and carried on partying.

Gotta keep that gravy topped up.