AdScam/The Horror!

Old geezers’ rule... Maybe!!!

In their never-ending quest to come up with even more categories thus guaranteeing that the big bucks entry fees continue to roll in, the Cannes fucktards have just come up with a doozy... The Cannes Senior Lions Award which will recognize work done by people in the ad biz who are 50 years of age, or older. Problem is, there’s hardly anyone in the BDA’s older than 30 or so. So, there won’t be many entries. Mind you, the BDHC’s are stuffed with wankers in their seventies pulling down the big bucks for doing fuck all.

For example, the Poisoned Dwarf.

Yes... It's T.G.I.K.M.F. Again...

Enjoy...

And the grift grinds on.

If you missed out on Der Trumpf’s appalling collection of NFT’s, you now have an opportunity to piss away more of your hard-earned dosh on another piece of Der Obergropenfuhrer trash... “Letters to Trump.” A $99 book that reprints private letters sent to him by celebrities and politicians over the last 40 years. As expected with anything Trump, the publication has raised questions about who owns the copyright to the letters and whether publisher Winning Team Publishing, created by Trump’s totally fucked up eldest son Donald Trump Jr., has permission to reprint them. It’s not the first time a Trump publishing effort has cashed in on other people’s work. His 2021 coffee-table photo book “Our Journey Together,” featuring official White House photos, destroyed photographer Shealah Craighead’s book plans and failed to credit her pictures. Par for the course when you work for Trumpf.

Why don’t they have “Letters to Trump?”

And the billions roll in.

I used to criticize Amazon for not showing a profit for their first ten years as Bezos claimed they were concentrating on building their audience, rather than selling ads. Shows how much I know about the media biz with the news yesterday that Amazon sold $40 BILLION of advertising last year, which is more that the entire global newspaper industry put together. Just goes to show that I know fuck all about fuck all. Actually, as I get older, I know less and less about fuck all.

Wanna check out my new yacht while Lauren is away?

Wanna see a shity ad?

Kohler is introducing its most advanced “smart toilet” yet!!! Now you can experience the artful design, personalized bidet settings, touchless technology, soothing heated seat, ambient lighting, and streaming audio of the Numi 2.0 smart toilet. On the other hand, if you just need to take a crap, use a bucket.

Or a Porta-Potty. 

Filthy Rich Football.

If you think that there’s a lot of money wrapped up in sports, you ain’t seen nothing if you haven’t checked out Britain’s football Premier league. Nearly every team in it is owned by foreigners, particularly Arabs. With the news that the League has just moved its ad account and the agency is expected to promote its off-pitch work. As my mate, Stephen Foster, over at MoreAboutAdvertising points out off-pitch work essentially means a range of partly charitable activities designed to make the League looks less like a collection of moneybags and more like society benefactors. Meanwhile, after having their arse kicked by Liverpool, 7 – 0, Man United fans are having a whip round to buy the club before a bunch of Qatari’s bag it.

How about China?

There’s a word for that.

In my decades long career, I have dealt in ideas enhanced by words. Some of the ideas were good, a few were great, most were routine. Still, I chose the words that I felt enhanced the idea. Occasionally, I would use words that were not in everyday use such as coruscate and delectation. Here on AdScam I am prone to overuse fucktard and douchenozzle. But it’s my blog, so fuck it. There is one word however that I will never use, because it’s the most abused word in the English language. That word is “awesome.” Which people seem to use to describe the most mundane things. I was once in a Starbucks and the lady in front of me asked the “Barista” (fake word) for a glass of water when she got it she said to the server... “That’s truly awesome.” Being a fucktard, I tapped the lady on the shoulder and said... “No, it’s not, it’s just a glass of water.” She screamed and ran out of the shop. Can’t think why.

Maybe it was Trump water!

More shocking news!!!

Is nothing sacred anymore? News just in that Toblerone has been told by the Swiss government that it must now stop using a graphic of the Matterhorn on their packaging. Why? Cos some of the chocolate is going to be made in Slovakia. And Slovakia doesn’t have a Matterhorn. Strict rules have applied about "Swissness" since 2017.  Mind you, this hasn’t stopped George Santos from claiming he is Swiss-Ish and will be accepting donations for his recently formed “Save the Matterhorn Fund.” I have agreed to help and will be accepting dosh (no crypto) in my Zurich bank. Which happens to be in Switzerland.

I’ll find room for it.

Ad Abominations continue.

You have to wonder what the fuck has happened to the ad biz when the big news of the week is that “KFC Doubles down, releases bunless hit again.” Starting today, you’ll be able to get this gourmet treat for the next four weeks only. So, if you want to drool all over the Double Down’s amazing blend of 100% tasteless white meat fillets, two slices of rubber cheese, and two pieces of super-dry hickory-smoked bacon with either the Colonel’s real mayonnaise or spicy sauce. So get your arse down to the Colonel's five star shed. 

Looks disgusting!

Stalin... Still...

Just so you know... Stalin died seventy years ago today on March 6^th, 1953. He died at 9.50 p.m. after suffering a brain hemorrhage following a long night of drinking and watching movies (probably porn). Der Trumpf, whilst ranting at CPAC sent his condolences to Putin and said Stalin would still be alive today if he had drunk Trump Water instead of booze.

End of history lesson.