AdScam/The Horror!

Yes... It's T.G.I.K.M.F. Again.

Enjoy.

After one of Kate's parties...

Howdya like that Grand Jury now?

Was it only a couple of days ago that Der Trumpf was on his sorry excuse for a social media site proclaiming that the New York grand jury was the best thing since sliced Big Mac’s. Wonder if he thinks that now. Trump’s attorney revealed Thursday that the failed, one-term President was “shocked” when he learned a Manhattan grand jury voted to indict him. However, the first thing to take care of is fundraising. Yes, it’s grift time... Big time!

Make those MAGA “Morans” cough up.

Wow... Oh fucking Wow...

It finally happened. Despite my earlier posts about the American judicial system, the New York Grand Jury has voted to indict Der Trumpf for his outrageous behavior in the Stormy Daniels pay off scheme. Time for a drink, or two, or three.

Crack open the fridge...

Reduced gravy time...

So sad to hear the tragic news that the average annual Wall Street bonus fell to $176,700 last year, a 26% drop from the previous year’s average of $240,400. However, the 2022 bonus figure is more than two and a half times the median annual income for US households which currently stands at $70,800. Still, yachts and penthouses don’t come cheap.

That about sums it up.

Trump temporarily doges another bullet.

You have to wonder just what the hell is going on with the news that the New York grand jury investigating Der Trumpf will be taking most of the month of April off! On Wednesday, media outlets reported that a decision about a possible indictment won’t be announced until late April at the earliest after a weekslong break for the grand jury. On the few days they will sit they will consider cases other than Der Obergropenfuhrer’s. Why the fuck so? Something is starting to really stink here!!!

To be entered in evidence.

Logo Lunacy Continues.

You will be thrilled shitless to hear that to celebrate its 125^th anniversary, Pepsi has a new logo. It looks like the old logo, but they’ve painted the cans black. This as a result of thousands of focus groups (You know, groups of douchenozzles sit in a mall basement for a couple of hours, eat M&M’s, talk shit and get paid a few bucks.) Still, as PepsiCo chief design officer Mauro Porcini (Isn’t he a mushroom?) puts it so brilliantly, The goal in reimagining the logo was to infuse "great energy and confidence and boldness." Oh yeah... That'll do it. 

Mauro also has a band!!!

This Alexander ain’t so Great.

So, Jason Alexander, the guy who has appeared in every commercial the “Star Fucking” agency, BBDO, has ever produced, is telling Elon “King Twat” Musk to take his $11 a month blue check mark and shove it where the sun don’t shine. He announced this yesterday to his 732,000 followers. Why on earth would anyone want to follow this washed up actor. Come to think of it, why would anyone want to follow anyone?

That about sums it up!

That’s not amore!!!

Shocking news on the pizza front. The Domino’s Pizza franchise in Italy has entered into liquidation. Yes, Domino’s has spent the last eight years trying to persuade Italians who live in the pizza capitol of the universe to buy the world’s worst pizza, even the wanky ones with pineapple on top. They planned on opening 880 stores, ended up with 29 which have finally gone to pizza hell. When it comes to Domino’s, you're better off eating the box than the pathetic pizza.

Ooooops. It'll still taste better than Domino's. 

Disney Metaverse bites the dust,

In the apparent growing disenchantment with the Metaverse, news that Disney is in the process of laying off 7,000 staff in an attempt to control costs and develop what CEO Bob Iger pathetically calls a “streamlined” business. “Streamlined” being corporate verbal diarrhea for “You’re under the bus, mate.” The cuts include its metaverse team, with its 50-strong headcount being let go. Disney began developing its Metaverse strategy in mid-2022, including NFT bullshit, so that didn’t last long, did it?

Nothing to add...

Hey Apple freaks... Dig Deep!!!

Details are leaking about the upcoming June release of Apple’s Mixed Reality Headset. Apparently the device looks like a pair of giant ski goggles, needs a hip pack with battery support, cameras on the outside and two 4K displays on the inside, plus a “Reality Dial” that lets users increase or decrease real-time video of the world around them. All this for a mere $3,000. However, if you wear glasses, you are fucked as it won’t fit over them. Not to worry, Apple plans to sell prescription lenses for the displays for another few thousand dollars.

Get me to the apple store before June!!!