AdScam/The Horror!

Wall Street fat cats keep getting fatter!

Back in 2008 during the global financial fuck up, Jamie Dimon, CEO of JPMorgan Chase, reduced his salary from $30 million to $15 million. No surprise that it went back to $30 million the next year and he awarded himself a $15 million bonus. His current net worth is TWO BILLION fucking dollars. So, in the Dejavue category, news just in that David Solomon, the CEO of Goldman Sachs is getting a bit of raise. A year after having his check slashed to a measly $17.5 million—the Goldman board required him to forego $10 million after the investment bank was caught up in an international bribery scandal—This wanker will receive double that, mostly in stock options, but a sizeable $12 million in cash. He’ll be the best-paid CEO at a major U.S. bank with the 2021 package. ‘Cos he deserves it... Right?

Goldman Sachs Management Manual.

Attention AdScamoholics!!!

For those of you who can’t get enough of my ranting, Check out this “Welcome to the metaverse... Now go home.” On today’s MAA – More about advertising. In the UK. Time for a Martini.

Cheers.

Yes, it’s Friday... I know.... I know!!!

OK, before I get shit from people ‘cos I haven’t yet posted any Kate pictures... And it’s T.G.I.K.M.F. Here you go...

You're welcome...

Selfie Stupidity.

I never cease to be amazed at how stupid people can be. News just in that yet again another moron has died whilst taking a “Selfie.” 21-year-old Richard Jacobson fell 700 feet to his death from a peak in the Superstition Mountains near Phoenix, Arizona after losing his footing whilst posing for a shot. In 2018, a married couple fell to their deaths in Yosemite National Park while taking a selfie. A couple of years ago in Yellowstone Park, a woman posed with a buffalo for a selfie. The buffalo killed her. Also in Yellowstone, someone stepped backwards whilst taking a selfie. Unfortunately, right behind him was a boiling hot geyser. According to a study in the Journal of Family Medicine and Primary Care, 259 people died taking selfies from 2011-2017. It’ll be a lot more by now.

Wait ‘till the gang sees this!!!  

Musk Does Devious on the Moon...

The world’s richest wanker, Elon Musk, has declared many times that an essential part of his space exploration program, SpaceX, is ultimately aimed at getting humans to be able to live on other planets. So, what if the runaway Falcon 9 booster that’s about to crash on the moon after wobbling through space for seven years, actually has an astronaut in it. Why not? When you’re as rich as MuskNozzle you can do whatever the fuck you want. It's only money!!!

The astronaut will need transport on the moon.

Cryptocurrency Crapola...

I’ve never understood what the fuck cryptocurrency is all about. Now there’s news that prices for cryptocurrencies "have cratered since reaching all-time highs in early November, wiping out an astonishing $1.35 trillion in value globally, nearly half of the total market," the Washington Post reports. Then I read this comment on the article explaining it... 

Step 1: Let your vacuum cleaner run for 1 month at max power for 24/7

Step 2: Make sure nothing is cleaned with it (very important!)

Step 3: Convince your noise stricken neighbor to sign an affidavit that you indeed kept your vacuum cleaner running 24/7 for one month without any purpose

Step 4: Show this affidavit to an 'investor' and tell him that this 'certificate' is very valuable because it took so much resources to create it and your vacuum cleaner now is trash.

Step 5: Sell this 'certificate' to someone, who doesn't believe it is worth anything, but who is convinced to find someone stupid enough to pay him more than he spent on it.

Step 6: Repeat from step 1 as long as people want to get rich without work.

Now, everything makes sense.

What a cruel and unusual Webb we weave.

SpaceNozzles can breathe easy now that the much-anticipated James Webb Space Telescope (JWST) is unfurled and parked in its final orbit, roughly one million miles away from Earth. My very good friend, Al, who describes himself as a “Failed Physicist” (He isn’t, he’s a fucking genius,) who I share beers with a couple of times a week, can calm his racing heart and get on with his obsession with Jane Austin. One not shared by a British Neo-Nazi, who just last week was ordered to read Pride and Prejudice. Cruel and unusual punishment indeed.

Yeah... I could get into astronomy. 

 

Wanna get virtually fucked up?

Metaverse mania continues to take over the ad biz. The latest “Hotty du Jour,” is that Miller Lite is partnering with metaverse company, Decentraland, to bring a virtual bar to patrons during Super Bowl LVI. Oh yes indeed. Now instead of drinking real Nuns Piss Lite beer, you can drink Virtual Nuns Piss Lite beer. Very “Non-Fungible” indeed.

Looking for an avatar, Big Guy???

The robots are revolting.

In the “You can’t make this shit up” category, news from Britain that a robot vacuum cleaner at a Travelodge hotel in Cambridge went rogue and escaped out of the front door in the room it was cleaning. As expected, social media lapped it up. Amongst the many comments was this beauty... "Probably shacked up with a robot-lawnmower by now. Within weeks, we'll hear the pitter-patter of tiny robot feet. We're doomed." Or perhaps it escaped to the fucking Metaverse!!!

Or, it could have met up with its soul mate.

 

 

Wall Street does a wobbly.

If you ever needed further proof that nobody on Wall Street knows fuck all about fuck all, consider yesterday’s stock market when a wave of panic selling led the Dow to drop over 1100 points at one stage, then come roaring back to finish up almost 100 points. What caused all this shit? Perhaps we should ask a stock market “Expert.” How about senior market analyst Edward Moya. "Investors may have gotten a bit too pessimistic about the growth outlook." Oh that's fucking genius!

Your stocks have arrived!