AdScam/The Horror!

Pelotons piss poor performance...

It would appear that Peloton’s turn around plan is not working so well. (Perhaps that’s ‘cos stationary bikes don’t turn around... Groan...) They just reported widening losses and slumping sales in its fiscal fourth quarter as the connected fitness equipment maker attempts to win back investors with cost cuts and strategic shifts. Shares declined more than 15% in premarket trading. Maybe they should get featured on TV shows that show users having heart attacks... Just a suggestion.

Get a real bike...

Walmart goes wonky???

Walmart recently made headlines with the news that it will expand abortion coverage for its employees, including travel expenses. Does this mean that Walmart, a predominantly red-state brand, with its corporate headquarters in the reddest of red fucking states is taking a step to the blue-state left? The answer is no. A closer read of their statement reveals that it's only the tiniest of steps, covering abortion only in the cases of "health risk to the mother, rape or incest, ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage or lack of fetal viability." In a memo to employees, it explains the change is due to feedback from its 1.6 million associates. As an aside... Why the fuck do they continue to call them “Associates?’ when they are in actuality under-paid serfs?

I don’t need no stinkin’ abortions...

Political backbone... Or the lack thereof...

Yesterday I did a post... “Arse Kissing Exemplified,” pointing out that there are no limits to the depths Republican politicians will go to in sucking up to Der Trumpf. Last weekend Der Obergropenfuhrer  called Mitch McConnell a broken hack politician who should spend less time helping his crazy wife and family get rich on China. I forecast you would have to wait a long time for a response. As usual (he said modestly) I nailed it. Yesterday McConnell was asked by a reporter if he has any reaction to Trump calling his wife Elaine Chao “crazy”: McConnell immediately replied... “No.”

But... It's still bullshit...

Bud Bollocks.

Interesting to read about Bud finally settling on AOR’s for Bud Light and Bud Light Seltzer. Anomaly gets Bud Light and Martin gets Bud Light Seltzer. As you well know, I have always described Bud as “Nuns Piss”. With Bud Light being referred to as “Nuns Piss” watered down. So, I guess Bud Light Selzer is ultimately Nuns Piss watered down and made even fizzier. However, the one thing I can definitely guarantee you... Beer, it ain’t. As its abysmal declining annual sales demonstrate.

It’s a living.

Arse kissing exemplified...

You have to wonder about the limitless depths Republican politicos will descend to in their arse kissing of Der Trumpf. The latest example? On his joke social media site “Truth Wanker” Der Obergropenfuhrer posted... "Why do Republicans Senators allow a broken down hack politician, Mitch McConnell, to openly disparage hard working Republican candidates for the United States Senate. This is such an affront to honor and to leadership. He should spend more time (and money!) getting them elected, and less time helping his crazy wife and family get rich on China!" Wanna see how McConnell responds. Pour yourself a drink. You’ll have a long, long wait!!!

Better off kissing mine!!!

Hats off to a client with balls!!!

Unilever, the 40-year-old British snack food giant is doing a new campaign for its pre-packaged Pot Noodles. An unusually honest campaign indeed that reassures audiences that the product is “no longer crap”. Online and social media messaging has been running to position the “Lost the Pot” sachets as an improved lunchtime snack “now with flavor”. Don’t know who the agency is, but mega-kudos to both them and the client for having the balls to run this campaign.

It would never happen in America.

Do not piss off mad scientists.

A report just out tells us that NASA’s Artemis space program, will allow the astronauts involved to talk to the computer controlling the space craft. Hopefully, in a good way like Kirk and the “Star Trek” gang. Not in a bad way like HAL 9000 in 2001. Reminds me of the time when I was permalancing at Ogilvy and did an ad for their voice recognition software that would be a feature in OS/2 (Remember, that was their PC operating system.) The ad is below. But the original headline was... “For years mad scientists have been able to talk to their computers. Now you can too!” Just before it ran, the army of IBM lawyers pulled it. Why?

Because it was offensive to mad scientists!

Marjorie Taylor Greene... Bitch extraordinaire...

Ace “Nutter” Marjorie Taylor Greene launched her ridiculous "Protect Children's Innocence Act" on Friday which says that anyone who "knowingly performs any gender-affirming care on a minor" is guilty of a class C felony, carrying a punishment of 10 to 25 years in prison and a maximum fine of $250,000. Shoving a sharp stick in the eye of  those providing gender-affirming care to trans youth, the act also looks to "prohibit using federal funds for gender-affirming health care, including in Affordable Healthcare Act plans and bar colleges and universities from offering instruction on gender-affirming care." We all know that this pathetic woman is well and truly fucked up. Now we know there are no boundaries to her cruelty.

It’s a M.T.G Blow Job!!!

Let’s get crude!!!

You just have to love what John Fetterman is doing to fake Doctor douchenozzle Oz in their Pennsylvania Senate race. Oz came under savage fire after Fetterman’s campaign recirculated a video the TV doctor posted in April showcasing him grocery shopping for “crudité” in an effort to show the effects of inflation. The Democratic campaign seized on the video, with the candidate writing on Twitter “In PA we call this a… veggie tray,” the most recent move in his attempt to paint Oz as a carpetbagger from New Jersey. Not to mention, he’s endorsed by Der Trumpf. Who wouldn’t know a “crudité” from a crumpet. Unless it’s one of the many he’s paid off.

What to drink with your “crudité...

It’s Friday!!!

I haven’t forgotten that it’s T.G.I.K.M.F.

So... Enjoy...