AdScam/The Horror!

Are you next Melania?

So... Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are getting divorced after six years and four kids. Why am I not surprised? Kanye, who recently blew a few million running for the Presidency, is obviously off his rocker and believes he is some kind reincarnation of Jesus Christ. The marriage has been rocky for the last couple of years. They recently went to the Dominican Republic to sort things out. Funny, that’s where recently deceased bag of shit, Rush Limbaugh, used to go on sex tours ‘til customs searched his luggage and found a giant bottle of Aspirin that turned out to be Viagra. Kanye doesn’t need that... He’s God, remember.

Think he'll switch to tits now instead of arses?

Big Dumb Bollocks.

As usual, the head honcho of a BDHC, spouts the same old rubbish. This time it's John Wren, CEO of Omnicom, attempting to put a shine on the latest dismal quarterly figures. Citing the pandemic Omnicom reported a 9.3% revenue drop in the fourth quarter of 2020 to nearly $3.8 billion. The organic revenue decline for the period was 9.6%. For the full year revenues slid 11.9%. And here’s the best bit... The company took an impairment charge of around $60 million related to losses on the sale of certain companies that are being sold. In other words, all that shit you bought that was a stupid fucking mistake. Not to worry. Wren’s final words... “But we think everything will be more positive” this year. Oh John, that’s very reassuring to hear!

Thank Fuck it’s Friday. It's Kate day.

More Cruz Cock-Ups.

Did you see the latest on the Ted Cruz “Fuck you, I’m off to Cancun” scandal? Apparently, the whole family departed for a few days in the Mexican sun but left the family poodle, Snowflake, behind. He was alone in the freezing house with a bucket of Kibbles and a bathtub of water, so the poor little bugger would have been on its own for five days. At least Mitt Romney takes his dog with him on trips... Even though it is strapped to the roof of the car.

Snowflake... Bottom right in door... Home alone...

Where to hide shit!!!

What better place than up your arse? One of the prized objects at a recent auction of KGB memorabilia was a “rectal concealment capsule for hiding microfilm and other espionage information.” I suppose it’s better than shooting yourself in the foot. Years ago, I worked on the account of a company that made militarized laptops. In the upper right-hand corner of the keyboard was a large white cross. If you were in danger of being captured by the enemy, you had to shoot it with your pistol, ‘cos that’s where the memory was. Obviously, the keyboard was way too big to shove up your arse.

Looks like a bullet to me.

MDC... Massive Deception Con...

Just what the fuck is going on with MDC Partners, the SDHC (Small Dumb Holding Company) that is trying to join the ranks of the BDHC’s (Big Dumb Holding Companies.) through hundreds of acquisitions all over the globe? I miss the good old days when I could take the piss out of then CEO Miles Nadal using the company as his personal piggy bank. He even bought himself a McLaren P1 racing car on the company dime. Now, MDC Chairman and CEO Mark Penn, informs us that “Through strategic partnerships and investments in markets that are poised for growth, we’re doubling down on world-class talent, enhancing our global footprint and investing in our client’s future.” Oh sure... That’ll work... The typical holding company solution to any problem... Buy more shit.

Sound advice...

 

 

All the news unfit to print...

Britain has some great newspapers; it also has some of the world’s tackiest. In particular, The Sun, the Daily Express, and the Daily Mail. The world shattering headline news in today’s Daily Mail is that Ivanka Trump is having “Privacy Glass” fitted on the balcony of her multi-million dollar Miami apartment. Yeah... Fuck the pandemic and all the piffling little problems, let’s concentrate on the really important stuff.

Then there’s this...

And this...

And this...

 

No R.I.P. for you... Rush...

Rush Limbaugh is dead. He died of lung cancer after smoking too many Cohibas. Are you paying attention Rudy? Like Der Trumpf,. Limbaugh portrayed himself as a man of the people who fought the elites even as he collected $5,000 bottles of wine, owned a $54 million private jet, outfitted the vast salon of his horrible Florida mansion in the manner of Versailles, and socialized with top corporate and political leaders. And like Der Obergropenfuhrer, he craved the respect of those he criticized most vociferously. Good speed as you cross the Styx, Rush. You’ll be joined by your golfing buddy shortly.

Don’t you have any bigger ones?

Rush doing “Mr. Creosote.”

America breaks a record...

Unfortunately, it’s a very sad one. We just passed the half a million-death toll from the Coronavirus. According to worldometers.info we are currently at 500,038. A shocking number for one of the most advanced nations in the world. The death rate is starting to decline, and the health workers are doing an incredible job. Bless them all. Let's keep our fingers crossed that it is finally coming under control...

Even Kate is pitching in...

MAGA’s get your helmets on...

There’s still time to get your arse over to Atlantic City where the city’s biggest eyesore, Trump Plaza Hotel & Casino, is being blown up later today. Yes, yet another symbol of Der Trumps abysmal business record will bite the dust in a cloud of dynamite smoke. Like his many failed business ventures, from steaks to football teams, airlines and on and on, Der Obergropenfuhrer is the only person who has bankrupted more than one casino. Just as he is the only President to have been impeached more than once. Yes MAGA “Moran’s” he does set records...

But they’re all bummers...

Beer Bollocks...

Talk about bullshit... Nuns Piss, Miller Genuine Draft has a new can. It’s black and red with eagles and shit. Doesn’t look a bit like a traditional beer container, but then the people who drink it wouldn’t know a traditional beer if it hit them on the head. Anyway, a Miller Marketing Nozzle says the newest look resonated (what a dumbfuck word) with test audiences; in fact, purchase intent was 50% higher than current packaging with existing MGD drinkers. So, tarting up the can could increase sales by 50%. And, if you believe that, I’ve got a bridge made out of beer cans you might be interested in.

Oh Wow... Fucking Wow...