AdScam/The Horror!

It’s a holiday... But I’m still at it...

It’s Memorial Day, one of the few national holidays here in the US. Oh yes, there are tons of fake holidays, but they are just an excuse to get you to spend your hard-earned cash on rubbish, such as costumes for your pet. When I first came to America, long before most of you were born, I went into my bank in New York and was somewhat stunned to see that everyone working there was dressed as wizards, witches and giant peanuts. I asked one of them what was going on. It’s Halloween, she replied, it’s a holiday. Oh, I said, if it’s a holiday, why are you all still working. That didn’t go down well.

Now, there’s a witch I can relate to...

Another mass shooting... Yawn...

This one at Hialeah, Florida, where three guys jumped out of an SUV with a collection of handguns and assault rifles and started firing indiscriminately into a crowd. So far, two dead and twenty wounded. The police chief expressed his deepest condolences to the family of the victims... So, that’s OK then. Gotta keep those second amendment rights... Right... Fucking right?

Next week I’m upgrading to an AR-15...

“Moran Marge” does it again...

The ignorance of the average politician is unsurprising. However, the depth of ignorance displayed by Marjorie Taylor Greene is appalling. Speaking to fellow MAGA “Morans” at an “America First” rally, she said... “You know, Nazis were the National Socialist Party. Just like the Democrats are now a national socialist party.” The dumb fuck simply assumed that if the official name of the Nazi party had the word “socialist” in it. Ergo, it must have been a socialist party. And that means that Democrats, some of whom call themselves socialists, must be Nazis. If she had bothered to look it up, she would have found that the full name of Hitler’s party was Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei. In English, that translates to National Socialist German Workers’ Party. But it was not a socialist party; it was a right-wing, ultranationalist party dedicated to racial purity, territorial expansion, anti-Semitism, and total political control. Just like the modern GOP...

Crazier than a shit-house rat...  

Euro-Blues...

After scoring zero points in the recent abysmal Eurovision Song Contest, Britain is in deep mourning. First Brexit, now this. Although, when you think about it, as we are no longer part of Europe, what the fuck are we doing in the Eurovision Song Wank-A-Thon? Apparently, the Queen doesn’t give a rat’s arse about it. Good for her...

I’ll have a G&T... Make it a double...

Make mine a treble...

More ad biz financial shenanigans...

It would seem that MDC, the LDHC (Little Dumb Holding Company) that desperately wants to become a BDHC (Big Dumb Holding Company) is in the shit again. Indaba Capital Management, the largest independent shareholder of MDC has gone public with charges that the proposed merger between MDC and Stagwell favors Stagwell and CEO Mark Penn and is unfair to many MDC shareholders in that it undervalues the company. Firstly, anyone dumb enough to be MDC’s largest shareholder deserves everything that’s going to fucking happen to them. Secondly, how can you undervalue something that’s worth less than shit?

Is Mark Penn turning into Miles Nadal?

Kim Kops Out...

Oh dear, oh dear... Sad news today that Kim Kardashian just failed her “Baby Bar” exam in her quest to become the next Giuliani style joke lawyer. She states that she may give up her quest and go back to being whatever the fuck she currently is whilst counting her untold millions. Never forget that her dad, Robert Kardashian, yeah, the guy who got a guilty O.J. off a murder charge, has probably sent her a hologram, via loony, soon to be ex-husband, Kanye, telling her to dig in and hit the books again for a final try.

She’ll need a bigger legal robe.

Another mass shooting... Yawn...

I am not trying to be smart about the San Jose massacre with that seemingly callous headline. It’s just that the ever-increasing frequency of mass murder shootings in America, has zero effect on any sensible suggestion as to how to start fixing it. In fact, Texas just passed a law that allows you to walk around unlicensed whilst carrying a bazooka. California Governor, Gavin Newsom, visited the site and then spoke emotionally about the country’s latest mass killing. “There’s a numbness some of us are feeling about this. There’s a sameness to this,” he said. “It begs the damn question of what the hell is going on in the United States of America?” Well put Governor. Mind you, if God forbid, Kaitlin Jenner gets elected, she wouldn’t talk pussy like that.

Gotta protect that 2^nd amendment...

We do hot shit... Just like everyone else.

As the never-ending propensity for BDA’s and BDHC’s to talk absolute shit about the business increases, news today that IPG has won the account of the health insurance giant, Cigna. Obviously, they must make their intentions for the client sound like the second coming of Christ. Hence, the dedicated agency created to handle the account will be known as “Team Unleash.” We are told that the newly created agency model is designed to maintain the flexibility to access a wide range of agency services that have the ability to meet the fluctuating needs of the clients business. Further, we are told that the added flexibility will enable it to evolve capabilities across creative, B2B, digital, data & analytics, and media planning and buying. Pardon me guys, that sounds like a list of the same old shit that all BDA's and BDHC's do. Not just “Team Unleash.”

Unleash the crap!!!

How not to get Dad pissed.

High on the list of fake holidays, Father’s Day this year will be on June 20^th. It is anticipated that spending for dads presents and treats will surpass $20 billion. That’s even more than people spend on pet costumes for Halloween. Pushing the always well received booze option, actor Nick Offerman is back for Lagavulin, in a stultifying, really badly acted campaign. Lagavulin Offerman Edition:Guinness Cask Finish. In it, Nick sets off a journey to create a Father's Day gift that will win his dad’s approval: a limited-edition 11-year-old Lagavulin, which has been aged for four months in former Guinness Beer casks. Did anyone tell anyone... Scotch and Irish is not an enhancement, it’s a fuck up.

I could have told them that.

GaGa Marjorie Taylor Greene uber GaGas...

Oh dear, Marjorie Taylor Greene continues to open her vast gob and insert a foot in it. Five days after her comparison of wearing face masks to Jews being gassed in Nazi Germany (Hey marge, most of the death camps were in Poland, not Germany. The Nazis didn’t want to stink up their own back yard.) She then reiterated it a couple of days ago. Finally, the GOP leadership (That’s an oxymoron, right?) chastised her, whilst managing to declare that the Democrats where becoming increasingly anti-Semitic. Boy, is this country fucked, or what?

Are you talkin’ to me???