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In “The gang who can’t shoot straight” vein, did you see that Der Trumpf’s campaign’s demand that there be a recount in Wisconsin’s largest county has ended with President-elect Joe Biden actually gaining even more votes there. After the recount finished in Milwaukee county on Friday, Biden gained an additional 257 votes to Der Obergropenfuhrer’s 125, giving the President-elect a net gain of 132 votes.
I got 125 more... See?
So, Der Trumpf, the world’s biggest liar is moaning that others are putting out "false" stuff. He is the perfect example of someone who can dish it out, but not take it. Der Gropenfhurer has angrily tweeted that Twitter is a national security threat after #DiaperDon went viral following his mini-desk news conference in which he repeatedly complained about perceived injustices. “Twitter is sending out totally false ‘Trends’ that have absolutely nothing to do with what is really trending in the world. They make it up, and only negative ‘stuff’,” he tweeted without providing evidence in the early hours of Friday morning. Has anyone pointed out how ridiculous it is to complain about Twitter, via tweets on Twitter? There’s also a rumor that he’s hocked the Resolution Desk to pay some of his campaign debts.
I hope “Puty-Puty” likes his new desk.
It’s always T.G.I.K.M.F – “Thank God It’s Kate Moss Friday.” Super selections from the world’s biggest collection of Kate Moss pics for your delectation. You’ll have to find them via Twitter. If I show Kate's nipples on Facebook, I get banned. ‘Cos they’re wankers. Fuck ‘em.
Enjoy...
For someone obsessed by size – his hands, his wealth, his crowds – Der Trumpf made a wonderful spectacle of himself on Thursday night when he addressed the nation from a miniature desk designed for a leprechaun. The actor Mark Hamill tweeted: “Maybe if you behave yourself, stop lying to undermine a fair election & start thinking of what’s good for the country instead of whining about how unfairly you are treated, you’ll be invited to sit at the big boy’s table.” The hashtag #DiaperDon swiftly trended on Twitter, with many people mocking the president as an infant banished to the children’s table for Thanksgiving.
Call Ivanka... I need my diaper changing.
Forget about Covid19, Der Trumpf, and Kim Kardashian’s arse. The really important news of the week is that Elon Musk, just overtook Bill Gates as the world’s second richest man. The 49-year-old wankers net worth soared $7.2 billion to $127.9 billion, driven by yet another surge in Tesla's share price. Musk has added $100.3 billion to his net worth this year, the most of anyone on the Bloomberg Billionaires Index, a ranking of the world's 500 richest people. In January he ranked 35th. Further proof that capitalism works... For capitalists.
Even so, he’ll never overtake Bezos...
Ace AdScamer, Brent Brotine, just sent me this... Did you see this crap from Mondelez? “Humaning” is my vote for the worst buzzword ever. Or as the Mondelez CMO put it... Humaning is a unique, consumer-centric approach to marketing that creates real, human connections with purpose, moving Mondelez International beyond cautious, data-driven tactics, and uncovering what unites us all," the snack marketer announced in a statement. "We are no longer marketing to consumers but creating connections with humans. “humaning is when storytelling becomes storydoing.” What a load of shit.
Connect to this...
It’s Thanksgiving, so give yourself the gift of a preview tour of “The Donald J. Trump Presidential library.” Here you can enjoy a visually impressive site which promises among other attractions a “Covid Memorial”, a “Wall of Criminality” and an “Alt-Right Auditorium”. Visiters are also offered use of a “Hall of Enablers” (among those honored are senators, governors and the media) and a “Criminal Records Room” in which to study “Tax Evasion 101”. There is even a “Grift Shop” offering such delights as “Grab a Pussy Cookies” and “Notes of a Stable Genius” notebooks. It's well worth a visit.
Welcome...
Just to cheer you up... According to Worldometers, we just passed nearly 2,000 deaths from Coronavirus today, and the day is only half over. But, not to worry, Der Trumpf Junior says there are no more deaths... And the fucker just tested positive. Yeah, I’ll say it... I hope you die, you ignorant douchenozzle.
I just shit this “Biggly” stump...
Just in case you can’t get enough of me (He said, modestly) I’ve written an “Homage” over at MoreAboutAdvertising to Paul Simons (R.I.P.) concerning a piece he wrote a while ago, about how fucked up some agency clients are. My post concerns a campaign I wrote at Y&R for Xerox, back in the nineties. It featured “Rick and Richard.” Rick was a scientist at Xerox PARC, Richard was his partner, who happened to a be a chimpanzee. Everyone liked the campaign until it was killed by a senior Xerox executive, ‘cos he didn’t want to upset black employees. You can read all the sordid details over at MAA.
I got “furloughed.”
After Der Trumpf’s 64 second press conference yesterday, where he claimed that the Dow broke 30,000 because of his superb financial skills, which include hundreds of failed businesses and six casino bankruptcies, Wall Street has now moved into ‘extreme greed’ mode, according to CNN’s tracker of investor emotions. Following November’s market surge, the index has moved to 88 points -- where 0 is maximum fearfulness and 100 is maximum greed. No doubt, this will be thrilling news for the millions of people who will lose their unemployment benefits the day after Christmas.
In Britain, the day after Christmas is called “Boxing Day.” In America it will now be known as “Bolloxing Day.”
