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Yes, “The World’s Loneliest Elephant,” has landed safely in Cambodia after a seven-hour flight from Pakistan. He received a warm welcome from Cher, who will accompany him to a sanctuary housing lots of lady elephants who could become potential mates. Lucky buggar.
She even brought him a flower.
As was said in this scene from “The Full Monty.” And one of my favorite British sayings. Right now you could apply it to all the fuss being kicked up in Britain about celebrity chef, Nigella “Check out my boobs” Lawson’s advice on how ideally, toast should be buttered. Charles Saatchi’s Ex. insists that it should be done twice. This has created more “bovver” than Brexit or Boris’s multiple bastard children. It’s considered as uncouth as adding the milk after you’ve poured the tea, rather than before. And don’t get me going on how to cut tripe.
Not Nigella, but close.
Haute Cuisine for AdScamers.
I’m sure, by now, you’ve read all about how Cher has helped rescue the “World’s loneliest elephant” from decades of appalling captivity. Kaavan, Pakistan's only Asian elephant has spent years in grim conditions in a controversial Islamabad zoo, where he suffered from a lack of exercise as well as cracked and malformed nails due to living in a shit house structure. After Kaavan's partner died in 2012, he was dubbed the "world's loneliest elephant" -- and since 2016, Cher has been part of a huge social media campaign to relocate him. Last week she saw him off with a song as he departed for an animal sanctuary in Cambodia. On Friday, after thanking Pakistan's Prime Minister Imran Khan, she boarded a plane for Cambodia so she could greet Kaavan’s arrival... Probably with another song.
What a Gal!!!
Apparently, Der Trumpf is making plans to run for the presidency in 2024. I fail to understand how a morbidity obese 74 year old man, in clear cognitive decline will be fit enough to run in four years. He will be 78, older than Biden was for this year’s election. He will also be bat shit crazy by then. The most outrageous thing is that he plans to kick off his campaign by holding a rally for the MAGA “Morans” on the day of President Biden’s inauguration. No wonder this country is so fucked up!
He'll need to up his meds...
Over at The Guardian, we are told that the publication last week of research into swearing in the British workplace came up with some interesting conclusions. The survey looked at 1,400 employees in 100 companies and found that people who worked in accountancy, banking and finance swore the most, followed by lawyers. Workers in those two sectors swore, on average, 963 times and 722 times a week respectively. Meanwhile, media sector swearing was way down at 497 times a week, the creative arts and design were on 423 and marketing, advertising and PR a paltry 414. Advertising a mere 414! What the fuck is wrong with these people?
Well said... Sir!!!
In “The gang who can’t shoot straight” vein, did you see that Der Trumpf’s campaign’s demand that there be a recount in Wisconsin’s largest county has ended with President-elect Joe Biden actually gaining even more votes there. After the recount finished in Milwaukee county on Friday, Biden gained an additional 257 votes to Der Obergropenfuhrer’s 125, giving the President-elect a net gain of 132 votes.
I got 125 more... See?
So, Der Trumpf, the world’s biggest liar is moaning that others are putting out "false" stuff. He is the perfect example of someone who can dish it out, but not take it. Der Gropenfhurer has angrily tweeted that Twitter is a national security threat after #DiaperDon went viral following his mini-desk news conference in which he repeatedly complained about perceived injustices. “Twitter is sending out totally false ‘Trends’ that have absolutely nothing to do with what is really trending in the world. They make it up, and only negative ‘stuff’,” he tweeted without providing evidence in the early hours of Friday morning. Has anyone pointed out how ridiculous it is to complain about Twitter, via tweets on Twitter? There’s also a rumor that he’s hocked the Resolution Desk to pay some of his campaign debts.
I hope “Puty-Puty” likes his new desk.
It’s always T.G.I.K.M.F – “Thank God It’s Kate Moss Friday.” Super selections from the world’s biggest collection of Kate Moss pics for your delectation. You’ll have to find them via Twitter. If I show Kate's nipples on Facebook, I get banned. ‘Cos they’re wankers. Fuck ‘em.
Enjoy...
For someone obsessed by size – his hands, his wealth, his crowds – Der Trumpf made a wonderful spectacle of himself on Thursday night when he addressed the nation from a miniature desk designed for a leprechaun. The actor Mark Hamill tweeted: “Maybe if you behave yourself, stop lying to undermine a fair election & start thinking of what’s good for the country instead of whining about how unfairly you are treated, you’ll be invited to sit at the big boy’s table.” The hashtag #DiaperDon swiftly trended on Twitter, with many people mocking the president as an infant banished to the children’s table for Thanksgiving.
Call Ivanka... I need my diaper changing.
Forget about Covid19, Der Trumpf, and Kim Kardashian’s arse. The really important news of the week is that Elon Musk, just overtook Bill Gates as the world’s second richest man. The 49-year-old wankers net worth soared $7.2 billion to $127.9 billion, driven by yet another surge in Tesla's share price. Musk has added $100.3 billion to his net worth this year, the most of anyone on the Bloomberg Billionaires Index, a ranking of the world's 500 richest people. In January he ranked 35th. Further proof that capitalism works... For capitalists.
Even so, he’ll never overtake Bezos...
