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Am I the only one who is wondering what the fuck has happened with Kudlow, Mateo and Bolton in the last few weeks? Not a peep from Der Trumpf's ace team of wankers. Maybe they are in the bunker planning on The Obergropenfuhrer's re-election bid via World War III. You can't make this shit up.
You can't get rid of us!
You will not be surprised to hear that according to IRI research, Bud Light and Coors Light — the two biggest beer brands in the U.S. — (Known to AdScamer's as "Nuns Piss) are continuing to decline in popularity. At this point in the year, Bud Light sales are down 5.7% and Coors Light is down 2.5%. Now Coors Light thinks it is about to change all that with a pathetic campaign proposing that their pathetic brew is the perfect accompaniment to flaunting your knockers and taking a shower. Yeah, that'll fucking work.
I don't wear a bra and I don't take showers.
Shock, horror, dismay... Tapes of phone conversations have just surfaced showing that President Reagan was a racist who described African delegates to the U.N. as cannibals who didn't wear shoes. Never forget, Reagan kicked off his presidential campaign with a states’ rights speech in Philadelphia, Miss. where three civil rights workers were slain by the Klan. He made up welfare queens to disparage blacks on welfare. Thanks to him, the U.S. was the last major nation supporting apartheid South Africa. Anyone with half a brain knew he was a racist. For a good expose of his pathetic presidency, read "The Clothes Have No Emperor." Very funny... Very tragic. Now with Der Trumpf it's Dejavue all over again.
Pre-Presidential career.
Haven't I seen that tag line before?
I was just about to write a post about the announcement that Uber was laying off 400 of its global marketing staff 'cos they lost more than one billion fucking dollars last year, when I got an email from my good Oz mate Wisey... She of the "Luscious Legs," telling me that she just sued AirBnB after a shitty booking of a rat infested hole that they said wasn't their problem and they refused to refund her money... Anyway... She won and the wankers settled. Lesson One: Sheila's do not fuck around. Lesson two: As she puts it so well... All these social peer, sharing bullshits are setting themselves up for a huge fall. Airbnb, Uber are definitely fucked. Facebook and its data isn't as pervasive a problem but it definitely is a problem. Call me Perry Mason. Sorry Wisey, I'll stay with "Luscious Legs."
My mate Wisey... Loverrrrly!!!
As the hoary old saying goes... "It's an ill wind that blows no one any good," is being proven to the benefit of British Ad Agencies with the news that "BoJo's" shambles of a government will blow 125 million quid persuading Brits that Brexit is the door to paradise. Most will go on TV ads pre-Brexit, followed by repossession of the "telly" after Brexit due to non-payment of the monthly payments. Proving that politicians of all stripes talk shit, UK Finance Fucktard Minister, Sajid Javid said... “Making sure Britain is prepared for no deal is the best way to get a great new deal. That is why this government is turbo charging preparations to leave with no deal.” Doesn't he realize that his statement makes absolutely no fucking sense?
Being a fellow stable genius. I understand it perfectly.
Whilst all the political news on both sides of the Atlantic sucks, and Ad Biz news continues to be a giant yawn, we can always rely on Super AdScamer, Lisa Jay, she of the impeccable Kate-Dar to deliver the goods. Check out this super horny video of Kate strutting her stuff on a fashion shoot, then enjoy a selection of mouth watering pics for another shoot. She undoubtedly has a better picture in the attic than I do.
Rosearrific...Shagarrific!
Apparently even in his early days of sex, drugs, rock & roll, Mick Jagger was planning his retirement pension. The Rolling Stones star turned 76 last week and appears to have no plans to quit performing. But when he was young he found the idea that he would still be performing after the age of 60 preposterous, and was keen to prepare his finances for his twilight years, according to the man who was his accountant at the time. Today, he is conservatively estimated to have about $350 million stashed away. Hey Mick... Give it a fucking rest. Oh, and take Paul McCartney with you.
Couldn't have put it better myself!
Remember ace criminal Miles Nadal, the onetime CEO of MDC, the LDHC (Little Dumb Holding Company) who finally got booted out after looting more than $11 million in fake expenses to buy himself yachts and race cars and stuff.. Well, it would seem he still has lots of boodle left in his piggy bank. He just spent over $1 million on shoes at a Sotheby’s auction earlier this week, including $467,500 for just one pair of vintage Nike “Moon Shoes.” Richard Whitman over at MediaPost tells us that these will reside at Nadal's Toronto car museum. It would seem that this guy doesn't have gravy... He has Caviar gravy.
Be a good boy and eat your caviar.
Did it surprise you that after paying the largest corporate fine in the history of the US Federal Trade Commission ($5 billion) for massive and repetitive violations of a similar agreement from 2012, and the US Department of Justice announced a sweeping antitrust investigation of Facebook, Google, and Amazon, the company also announced it’s doing better than ever and its stock shot up? On Wednesday Facebook reported that it made $16.9 billion in the second quarter of 2019 – (Yes, that's just three months.) Which is a 28% increase over the second quarter of 2018. At that rate, it takes Facebook only 27 days to pay the $5 billion fine from the FTC. Isn't capitalism great?
Do what George told Facebook to do... Fuck off!
Benny Hill (Boris Johnson) gave his first speech as U.K. Prime Minister to the House of Commons today... He declared that Britain was poised at the "Beginning of a new golden age." Could this be a hint that we can soon expect to see a giant golden Trump Tower flaunting itself over the London skyline? After all, no one knows more about gold shit than Der Trumpf. Everything is going to get really fucked from now on.
The Gold Standard of Goonery!
Meanwhile, Boris is running around outside Number 10 chasing scantily clad women.
