AdScam/The Horror!

It's the rich wot gets the gravy!

Britain announced on Tuesday a series of measures aimed at increasing transparency over executive compensation, hoping to ramp up pressure on companies that offer lavish salaries for bosses but restrict pay for regular employees. The proposals include plans to force all publicly listed companies to publish their wage ratio, comparing their chief executive’s salary with that of the average worker, as well as the creation of a register that “names and shames” firms that faced shareholder opposition over executive pay levels. Guess who's number two on the list of fat cats getting fatter... Yeah, the Poisoned Dwarf. Last year he trousered $62 million. The year before he pocketed $90 million. So, this means he took a pay cut... Whata guy!

Shit... And I was about to buy Big Ben!

Dylithium Clio's next!

In the never ending proliferation of award shows, news that the Clio's has been acquired by investment company Evolution Media. The announcement does not include specific plans for growth within the Clio's, but the Clio's have recently expanded to include divisions created to honor other industries outside the world of traditional ad agencies and their clients. Oh fuck... In other words how many new categories can they create to liposuction even more entry fees from BDA's and BDHC's. At least Bill Evans only used the money to feed his Peruvian Marching Powder habit.

Ahhhh... The good old days!

More Cisco Conniptions!

Following on from my Cisco post of yesterday, I sobered up enough today to remember that I once almost worked on the account. Back in the eighties when I was trousering lots of freelance money in San Francisco, I was hired to work on a pitch for the Cisco account by a SF agency, one that in common with many other California agencies, no longer exists. At the briefing meeting, their new CMO (Cisco hires a new CMO every six months) stated that she wanted advertising that would make Cisco a household name. In my unfailingly helpful manner I pointed out that they didn't make anything that went in a household. That was the end of the briefing. That was also the end of my association with the long dead agency. Fuck it. Money used to grow on trees in those days.

What the fuck is a Cisco?

Fox News down the shitter in Britain!

In his never ending quest to own every piece of news media in the world, the Wizened of Oz, is experiencing difficulties in his bid to buy Sky pay-TV in the UK. Critics of Murdoch regularly cite the right-wing Fox News channel as a reason why Murdoch should not be allowed to buy the 61% of Sky it does not already own. So the evil old fucker has pulled the world's worse news channel, "Fox Fair and Fucked Up," from the "tellys" of Britain in a bid to clean up his fucktardly image. Not that it will make much difference. Nobody watched it anyway.

The tits are on page three.

CISCO... Keep on Walking... Anywhere!

As loyal AdScamer's know I have gone on record many times to say that the best ad/video ever shot was the classic "Keep on Walking" spot for Jonnie Walker featuring Robert Carlyle tramping the hills of Loch Doyne and delivering six minutes of sparkling film in one continuous take. Now, after Goodby, Silverstein & Partners resigned the CISCO account, new agency du jour, Ogilvy have come up with a travesty featuring Peter "I murdered my dad, but only on the telly" Dinklage walking through London whilst spewing a load of old cobblers about its new “intent-based networking” solutions. The campaign is called “The Network. Intuitive.” The three-minute spot, with lots of cuts and takes, delivers an excess of what we used to call "Speeds and Feeds" in the old days. Compared to the sterling work GS+P did for five years, the new stuff is rubbish. A word of advice to Ogilvy... Go back to the original work you did for IBM, have a good look at it, then have a belt of Johnnie Walker, then remember what dear old dead David once said... "Stick to your knitting."

I'd rather stick to lace!

 

Havas says... The Mexicans made us do it!

As you all know, I am enjoying the current parlous state of the BDHC's. So, I was totally chuffed to see another nail in their collective coffin lid with the news that Havas is the latest to post abysmal numbers. Havas Group CEO Nozzle, Yannick Bolloré blames the downturn on non performance in high-growth markets such as Brazil and Mexico where the Group has a large presence. The Poisoned Dwarf blamed Chinese communists. Yannik says it's all those fucking Mexican Rapists. Der Trumpf had better get on with that wall.

We aint got no stinkin' communists!

Nuns Piss ads continue to piss!

In its continuing quest to make a silk purse out of a sows ear, Wieden & Kennedy have come up with yet another feeble campaign for the worlds feeblest beer. Nuns Piss Bud Light has now descended to the medieval/fictional world of Game of Thrones, where people who dare serve something that actually is worth drinking are hauled off to the Pit of Misery. That would be the place they are forced to drink Bud Light for the rest of their lives. AdScam lays odds that this account is doomed.  

Could a dragon light my fag?

Surprise... Surprise!

In the wonderful, eminently unvisitable state of Texas, most of the oil refineries are under water thanks to some guy called "Harvey." This obviously means we shall be paying through the nose for gas. "In terms of prices, it's obviously going to be a lot worse than what we were telling people on Friday," said, Patrick DeHaan, senior petroleum analyst for GasBuddy.com, referring to the slight price increase on Friday before the Category 4 hurricane made landfall on the Texas coast. So, this means that prices were going up before "Harvey" even happened. Isn't capitalism great?

Does this mean I'll have to get rid of my little "Runaround?"

Dumb begets Dumber!

Continuing my rant about BDHC's getting dumber by the day, news today that Havas has just abandoned its earlier growth forecast for 2017. Is this the beginning of the end for these prehistoric mammoths as they continue to stumble around punting big data, social and whatever the next flavor du jour happens to be? No, they'll drag it out for years, whilst the BDHC and BDA management continue to trouser millions. All made easier by laying off the poor fuckers who work for them. Is there ANY currently good news for the agency biz?

The DCD (Director of Corporate Dumbness) checks big data and social media for the answers.

BDHC's getting dumber!

For years I've been describing WPP, Publicis, Omnicom and Interpublic as BDHC's (Big Dumb Holding Companies.) With the pathetic WPP financials just announced, perhaps their dumbness is catching up with them. As AdAge posts today, their lack of transparency might just be behind it all. Not to mention the Chinese Conspiracy. It'll take years... But never forget, AdScam says it's over. Consultancy anyone?

If George does it... I'll sign up for it.