One of the world’s shittiest beers is looking for a new agency… So, obviously, they have asked three of the world’s shittiest agencies to pitch. Yes, Miller Lite is up for grabs and they have invited Leo Burnett, TBWA and a new WPP, fantasy agency, “Royal Order” (The Poisoned Dwarf must stay up all night coming up with this shit) to present ideas. Miller Coot’s Chief Marketing Nozzle goes by the name… Andy England. DoYa think His Gnomeship reckons “Royal Order,” might appeal to someone whose name reeks of Britness? Anyway, as AdAge explains… Mr. England declined to reveal what he wants in next year's advertising. But he said, "I think the Original [retro] can and our learnings about why that has resonated so well have clearly informed our strategy." The Lite review comes as the brewer also confronts declining sales trends on its largest brand, Coors Light, which is handled by WPP's Cavalry. Mr. England said there are no plans to change agencies on the brand, which will debut new ads this fall."We think we understand what ails Coors, and we have a tight understanding with the team at Calvary and they are working hard to address the challenges," Mr. England said. Fuck, and I always thought Calvary was where they nailed you to a cross!
To think I went to art school for this!