Yeah, I know I keep going on about how all the ridiculous valuations of social networking companies is eventually going to come back and stab investors in the eye… I mean it’s not like this shit hasn’t happened before. So, what’s brought this Sunday morning rant on, when I should be in the Church of Kate doing my abeyances? According to Nyppex, a research and advisory services firm, that tracks eight of the fastest-growing social-media startups, Zynga and Facebook have led a 51% jump in the private market valuations of top Web companies in the first quarter of this year. The key here is “Private Market.” It means ZuckerNozzle and other insiders are selling to people like Goldman Sachs and Russia's Digital Sky Technologies. (That’s the Russian Mafia guy who “Offs” ex-girlfriends.) Which is a bit fucking dodgy if you ask me. You can fuck stock market shareholders, most companies do, but the last guy you want to fuck is the one in the armor plated Zil, who can make you disappear when you aren’t making the numbers.
There's someone asking to see you Mr. ZuckerNozzle!