AdScam/The Horror!

Dell uber-honcho loves his Mac!

 A loyal AdScammer points me in the direction of Andy Lark, who happens to be one of the big marketing dogs at Dell. He has a blog  called The Daily Lark. If you go to the section…  "FRIENDS, FAMILY & VESTED INTERESTS," then click on "The Larks" to see his family's web page. Scroll to the bottom of the page, you’ll see that the Lark family website is"Made on a Mac." Pretty fucking funny that one of the top marketers at Dell so openly proclaims his Macness. You can’t make this fucking shit up… Further proof that nothing is secret on the Internet!

Why Andy always wears a hat!

WPP deeper in shit!

The news out of London that Vodafone has appointed OMD to handle its £800 million ($1200 million) international media planning and buying account, is yet one more nail in the coffin lid of the Poisoned Dwarf’s empire. The announcement follows a final head-to-head pitch for the business against WPP’s Team Vodafone unit. The best fucking bit is that OMD's appointment comes despite leaked reports from within “Dwarf Central” suggesting that WPP was sure to win the account, which covers all global markets where Vodafone is a wholly-owned business. As usual, many serf heads will roll… But not amongst senior management ranks. I mean fuck, Sir Martin’s $96 million bonus has to be saved!!!

Welcome to WPP!

Pitch for chrysler... Prostitute yourself!!!

So, BBDO is fucked for the Chrysler biz… All the trades posted shit today about the Chrysler "Creative Project” every fucking agency in the world, including BBDO will soon be pitching for. Hell, even Matt over at Agency Spy posted today… And I always thought it would take the outbreak of World War Three to get Matt to work on the weekend. But, who fucking cares who gets it? Chrysler will continue to make really fucking shitty cars, and demand that their agency produce really shitty car advertising. I never thought I’d say this, but kudos to CP+B for being the only agency with the balls to tell a major car account, when asked to re-pitch for the biz… No thanks, go fuck yourself!

 

Chrysler... The Future!!!

 

Apple v Microsoft... Bullshit!

The New York Times did a piece on Saturday about the current advertising wars between Apple and Microsoft. As usual, it was written by someone who doesn’t have a clue about advertising. Here’s my favorite quote from a CP+B douchenozzle… “You are not so embarrassed to take your PC out of the bag on a plane anymore,” said Mr. Reilly at the ad agency. “It’s actually kind of cool that you do. I know this is working.” C’mon, you fucktard, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone embarrassed to pull out a PC on a plane… Typical CP+B bullshit. Go shove a fucking Whopper down your pie hole!  

 

Journalist my arse!

 

Hard core porn now comes with breakfast!

Word just in that a Swedish woman has described herself as "shaken" and somewhat "disappointed" that a freebie fitness DVD from a packet of Nestlé Fitness cereal was full of raunchy, very hard-core porn as well as stressing the benefits of a dance-based workout. The lady explained: "It was not soft porn. It was definitely what I would categorize as hard core, very unpleasant porn - not that I know much about it." Ha, fucking right, that’s why she then proceeded to check out the DVD on several other computers. She then contacted Nestlé, who assured her it would get to the bottom of the outrage. Mercifully for the company, it hasn't lost a customer. She confirmed to the press: "No I haven't changed cereal. But I have bought another packet." Probably hoping for the next fucking DVD in the series.

Guess what's inside this?

I’ll take 100/1 on a green dude with tartan hands working on a Cray laptop!

As a follow up to Microsoft’s racial head swapping stunt I posted about yesterday, UK betting shop Paddy Power is offering odds on the racial makeup of the smiling faces who will turn up in Redmond's global advertising campaign for the upcoming Office 2010. As the Brits are only surpassed in their love for a flutter by the Chinese, this should come as no fucking surprise whatsoever. To begin, Paddy Power is offering 11/10 odds that Microsoft's Office 2010 campaign will include a "White," an "Afro-American," and an "Asian," and the odds are 9/4 on just White and Afro-American. But just White and Asian is down at 12/1:

• 11/10 White, Afro-American and Asian
• 9/4 White and Afro-American
• 4/1 White only
• 6/1 Afro-American only
• 8/1 Asian only
• 10/1 Afro-American & Asian
• 12/1 White and Asian

It seems Paddy Power has ignored the possibility of a green man with tartan hands. And a MacBook with a Dell logo. Paddy Power Bookmaker Extraordinaire, seems to take a fucking bet on anything… Check them out.

Me, I’m going with a Wookie.

How to fuck up being PC when you’re in the PC business!

Gotta love the comments on the Microsoft/Polish post earlier. And while you’re at it, check out High Jives post and comments… Good stuff. Reminds me of years ago when Ford, UK, did an ad showing a bunch of workers at their Dagenham factory. One of the guys was a Sikh. Ford management, in their fucktard wisdom, asked the agency to get rid of the guys turban. The agency did, and for good measure, gave the guy blond hair. That caused a nice fucking commotion. All the Sikhs, who for some reason run all the car parks in Britain, threatened to destroy all the Ford cars on their lots… Ford put the turban back… Just as I hear the poles have put the black Dudes head back on… Which as usual, makes the whole thing fucking worse. Wanna bet all the managers are MBA’s?

It's Friday... Remember?

Mark Penn, PR Douchenozzle up to usual shenanigans!

The New York Times is reporting that Mark Penn, head of Burson-Marsteller, PR agency to the rich, powerful and venal, is writing a regular column for the Wall Street Journal that his agency is then using to drum up new business. Apparently, the WSJ doesn’t see this as a conflict of interest. Why would they, now that it’s owned by the Wizened of Oz, who never saw a bent deal he didn’t like? The paper claims that Penn had assured them that he had did not know in advance about the attempt to leverage his column into new business, and that it would not happen again. Ha, fucking yes. Based on his track record I wouldn’t put much stock in that. Remember, this is the guy who took zillions of fucking dollars out of Hilary Clinton’s campaign, when he was the chief strategist, while still the CEO of both Burson-Marsteller and his own polling company. The straw that broke the camel’s fucking back was when he took on the government of Colombia as a client to promote a trade pact that Clinton opposed. If ad people are at the bottom of the totem pole, PR people are the shit the pole is sitting in.

Do not buy used PR from this man!

Microsoft does racial/apple mash!

You’ve all read about the shit Microsoft is in for digitally removing the head of a black man from a website photo and replacing it with the fucking head of a white man. This particular fuck up happened on their Polish Web site when they changed this shot, with the black guy in the middle…

To this shot with a white guy stripped in…

Apart from the fact that this is sheer fucking racism and a really shitty piece of Photo Shop work, did anyone else notice that the black/white dude is working on a fucking MacBook… Although they did a better job with the Apple logo than with the fucking head. Douchenozzles!

Twitter mania continues, and continues!

I’ve posted in the past about about Dell’s claim that Twitter has driven $3 million in sales since it began operation in 2007. Personally, I have always been suspicious about these grandiose claims that seem to lack any kind of back up statistics. Now, at a Twitter for Brands event hosted by New Media Age in London on Friday, Dell representatives said they have seen tangible uplifts in sales which can be directly attributed to marketing on Twitter. Moonfruit, a website builder, said Twitter campaigns have helped the brand, by spending around 10,000 pounds ($16,400) on prizes for the campaign, and that it brought in more than twice that amount in a single month in new subscriptions… OK, so where the fuck are the $3 million in sales. Can someone please show me the hard fucking numbers? This is the same shit that we had thrust down our throats last month about how Twitter generated $48 million in free publicity, thanks to the Iranian Twitter revolution. So fucking what… How much did these wankers actually make?

If you want to make a fortune on Twitter... Send me $25!!!