AdScam/The Horror!

Fuck Chrysler and the SUV you rode in on!!!

So the Feds have told GM and Chrysler to fuck off when it comes to more bail-out money. I should bloody well think so. Why the fuck should my tax dollars go to a private equity firm, Cerebus, who don't even allow you to look at their books. These are the wankers that bought Chrysler, thinking they could make some money for their shareholders. Well, guess what guys it didn't pan out, so you're fucked. Live with it. Anyway, Chrysler CEO, Bob Nardelli got thrown out of Home Depot after six year of driving it into the dust. But he walked with $600 million in salary and a golden parachute of $350 million. That's nearly ONE FUCKING BILLION DOLLARS for a piss poor performance. Why should tax payers dollars reward him for another dismal performance. These douchenozzles are criminals.  

Hey Bob... Get lost!!!

"Joe the Plumber" goes for Nobel Literature prize!

You realize we are reaching the end of civilization as we know it, when you read today's news that "Joe the Plumber" has hired a publicity team. "The Press Office" in shit kicker country, Nashville will now handle his busy schedule. Apparently, Mr. Wurzelbacher, will have to start turning down plumbing jobs, which he is not licensed to do anyway, so he can now pursue his literary and singing career. I mean how fucking insane is that? Does this mean he can finally pay off his fucking tax liens? In spite of his new publicist's claim that "people are curious as to what's on his mind," can you imagine shelling out hard earned dollars to read this fucktard's book, "Drains I have snaked." P.T. Barnum got it right when he said "Never underestimate the intelligence of the American Public!" I can see it now Palin/Wurzelbacher in 2012. We're fucked!

Joe does shit!!!

Fly the fucked up skies!

With the news today that Delta has finally acquired Northwest, whoever is Northwest's agency can kiss that account goodbye. (Anyone know who handles it?) It also means that with their announcement they can cut $2 billion out of the expenses, we can look to even higher fares, shittier service and the prospect of flying on planes that saw service during WWI. As we all know, flying these days is a fucking nightmare, yet the airline ads continue to show it as some kind of orgasmic fantasy trip where you recline on beds as exotic chicks feed you champagne and fucking caviar. Best bit was the statement by fucktard Federal regulators that "The proposed merger is likely to produce substantial and credible efficiencies that will benefit US consumers and is not likely to substantially reduce competition!" Are these douchenozzles for real? Notice the weasely bit... "not likely." You just know after they have finished their time in their Federal job... They get a new one with the fucking airlines. Wait 'till the revolution!!!

The passenger in seat 36D asked for more caviar!

Nice one Barbara!

AdWeek's Barbara Lippert, as usual, has an excellent review of last nights 30 minute infomercial from our next President. Read it, then read some of the dumbass comments from some obvious McCain/Palin supporters. I was driven to make a comment... Here it is... Barbara... As usual, an excellent review. I agree the morning in America look and feel has been beaten to death by politicos of all stripes. I had to laugh when I read the comments from obvious McCain/Palin supporters. As usual, Obama is accused of being a socialist. I doubt that one in ten American’s could actually define what a socialist is. And saying that “It shows how money can make the candidate by the use of propaganda.” In the context of a column running in AdWeek, is ridiculous. For years the GOP had control of the money machine and used it to ruthlessly push their agenda, one which has landed us in the mess we are in today. I guess it’s OK to be in the advertising/propaganda business, but not if you are a socialist. I am constantly amazed at the fucking ignorance of the right-wing douchenozzles.

Roll on November 5th.

Enfatico breaks ads Vindaloo!!!

It would appear from the piece in today's AdAge that Enfatico has finally produced some original work... For India. You can see three examples of the print in the AdAge piece. Aimed at the small/medium business market, it features Captains of Indian Industry... Or, should I say Rajah's? The stuff looks nice and clean, with the tag line... "I choose my own path... I choose Dell" The end result being a big fucking yawn... I mean come on guys, is that it after nearly a year? This is the same shit that's been running in IT books for fucking years. If you want to make an impression in a market where you are currently number five in the SMB sector, for Christ's sake try and stand out. It would appear from a complimentary piece in the Business Standard that in India they have abandoned their direct selling model and are going via the "The Channel" (IT chat for resellers.) Which is why these fucking ads smell of compromise, desperation and the totally expected. It's like dealing with car dealership networks, trying to sell a campaign to a room full of these cretins always leaves you with safe ads... i.e. Fucking camels. One final point... Does this mean Enfatico is going to end up with a totally different campaign in every market? If so, that's really fucking dumb.

I'm sending a can of whup-ass to Enfatico!

Enfatico blog - Update!

First... Kudos to them as they did put up my less than complimentary comment. I didn't expect them to, but they did... So well done. Second... Someone named Mathew says we will be seeing their work shortly... OK, at least they responded, but after over ten months, it should be out there right now. Third... As some of the commenter's on AdScam have pointed out, some of the Enfatico comments smell rather suspicious... Like "You’ve got my attention." Or "look forward to seeing the exciting work from you." And worst of all "This is the best idea ever!" I mean C'mon, you mean doing a fucking blog is the best idea ever!!! If these are internal plants, Ken, you should kick someone's arse and get a writer with some imagination on the job... Final piece of advice... The first rule of blogging... Post often, at least once a day, better yet, many times a day, otherwise people don't come back... Enfatico kicked off "nextstoryboard" (still one of the world's dumber names) three days ago, and there's still only one post. I'll be watching.

So is Michael Dell!!!

CP+B does shit for Microsoft... Again!!!

Have you seen the latest Microsoft effort from CP+B? Holy shit!!! My mate Edward pointed me in the direction of a piece in AdAge by the delectable Rupal Parekh that exposes the Frat Boys latest effort in all its glory. It would seem that they have run out of dumb assed ideas with Seinfeld and Deepak Chopra, so they are inviting the general public to "Upload Yourself" in the form of really fucking bad, really cheesy home made videos. As Rupal so eloquently puts it... "The end result features folks making mundane, sarcastic or downright bizarre pronouncements, from "I'm a PC and I like the slimming effect of a purple striped shirt" to "I'm a PC and by that I don't mean politically correct." Fucking dead on Rupal... When is the world going to wake up to the fact that since the Mini campaign these guys are sliding down the shit slimed tubes of stupidity. Maybe Alex is too busy with his fucktard diet book. Douchnozzles.

Yeah... But not if you work at CP+B!

Christmas is coming... Batten down the hatches!

You have to love this from DetroitMediaGuy earlier this week...

From the Detroit Free Press this morning ...
Dick Deadman is leaving his position after nine seasons as Santa at the Lansing Mall. [sighting the reason] "They wanted to cut my salary by $2000 and extend my hours". Even Santa Claus can't catch a break ... Sounds like Deadman's a fucking dead man... Groan!!!

He's also got a great post on how Peter Arnell fucked up Chrysler with his epic Celine Dion TV campaign... What a fucking wanker.

Ho, fucking Ho!!!

 

Enfatico gives bad blog...

Did you know that Enfatico has started a blog? Matt over at Agency Spy points out this earth shattering event... Read it... A piece of self congratulation on the part of the "revolutionary agency of the future" that is enough to gag you. A very posey picture of Terence Boone graces the first post... Actually, the only post in its first two fucking days. He's doing a Kevin Roberts "All-Black" look. You can't see, but I'm sure he doesn't wear socks with his Gucci loafers either. The name of the blog is "NextStoryBoard" Hello, fucking "story board"... Isn't that the old pre-digital way BDA's did ads? Aren't you the agency of the future? Anyway... I left a comment, which is waiting to be "moderated," which means they will never post it... This is what I said... "Welcome Enfatico, Seriously!" Now stop talking shit and show us some work. Corporate speak translates into bullshit. To paraphrase David Ogilvy. "Speak English, that's what the consumer does." As you said... But enough about us... Damn right. What about me? Cheers/George. What the fuck do you think the odds are that they'll ever post it???  

Love Marks 3.0!!!

Jim Edwards... A douchenozzle, he ain't!

Jim Edwards, who used to be a managing editor over at AdWeek, then after a stint at BrandWeek, has now taken over from Jake Swearingen at BNET's Advertising blog. His first three posts are up, and they are fucking great. OK, he doesn't swear as much as I do, but the piss and vinegar is there in spades. He rips IPG a new arse on their third straight quarter cash loss. Shares my point of view on the fucked up Arnell re-do for Pepsi. And even has a go at Omnicom for douchenozzle CFO, Randall Weisenburger's asinine statement about the "short term" downturn in the biz... Oh fucking yes... How about a couple of years at least. Anyway, read Jim's stuff and book mark it. It's better than 90% of the shit out there.

Read Jim's blog, or the dog gets it!!!