AdScam/The Horror!

Sarah Palin called to the "Bar!"

Following on from my last post about McCain's Polar Bear killin' Veep choice... This just in from my Alaska spies... Sarah Palin, before she was a beauty queen, danced at the Great Alaska Bush Company. Rumor has it that's how she met her husband, the snowmobile racin', deep sea fishin', North Slope oil riggin', Todd. He probably popped in for four fingers of "Red Eye," before getting back to shooting wolves from his helicopter. Mmmm... Something not quite intelligent about that design.

The "Governator's Shorts!"

This post has absolutely nothing to do with Tom Messner, or Helayne Spivak, or me!

My good mate and ex-creative partner "G.I. Joe" just sent me a new picture of John McCain and his Veep pick, Sarah "I am not a Grannie" Palin. I have fuck all to say about it, other than it is definitely worth sharing. Enjoy!

Does he look pregnant to you?

Tom Messner is not a fucktard!!!

Sorry Tom... You should have known how tempting your comment of yesterday would be... "I have been trying to induce George to mention me in a lead-in to one of his posts in the hope that, on Google, when someone searches for Tom Messner, that someone will encounter a different first entry other than "Tom Messner is not a douchebag." Apparently, I succeeded as today when I did my periodic self-defense googling of "Tom Messner advertising douchebag" has been relegated to a later page while the new entry gets first mention." Tom, I can't help it when you give me an opportunity to get your Google ranking back up there in the "Naughty Words" section. You have fallen into the same trap as our mutual mate, Helayne Spivak. She googles herself every morning to make sure she's still alive. Knowing Helayne, she'll outlast both of us!

Helayne is not a douchebag or fucktard either!

Tom Messner... Listen up!!!

Tom Messner, as usual, had a perspicacious comment to my Veep post, laced with a modicum of piss & vinegar. So rather than comment on his comment... I'll do a fucking post.... Tom... God forbid I should have gone to school in Idaho... Being a graduate of the Royal College of Art, London... The Queen would be very pissed to think that you would suggest one of her loyal subjects would have attended the University of Idaho... in "Moscow, Idaho." Yeah, how funny is that that? The most ultra conservative US state's most prestigious center of learning is in the capitol of Russia! Anyway... What's funny if you read everything about her... She was there for four years doing a degree in journalism, but never worked on the student paper, radio, or TV station... And according to the local Idaho papers, even her fucking professors, don't even remember her! This is obviously a lady destined to make a great impact. Oh, and she also shoots wolves for helicopters... Go NRA!!!

Hocky Mum with Guns!!!

Get an MBA... Get a life!!!

I'm a bit late on this one guys... Been trying to catch up on all my back issues of the worlds greatest fucking magazine... "The Economist." And yeah, I used to work on the account back in the days when great print ads were great fucking print ads... Check out my Web site, or get a copy of "In Celebration of Print," for proof on this bald-ass statement. Better yet double it up with a copy of "MadScam!" But, moving on... There was a piece in The Economist a few weeks ago showing that in spite of the declining economy... Enrollment at business schools for MBA degrees are up. As loyal AdScammer's will know, I am convinced that spending a couple of years, and a gazzillion dollars to get an MBA, is a giant wankfest... Every MBA I have been unfortunate to work with, has been a giant fucktard... Ya want proof... Bush is a fucking MBA! Which means if you can walk, chew gum, and pretend you've given up liquor and Peruvian Marching Powder... Welcome to "Daddy bought me an MBA," La, La, Land.

Stop at Harvard Business School for two years... Then proceed!

Facebook... The movie!!!

PSFK has a piece on how Aaron Sorkin is about to make a movie about Facebook... What the fuck is that all about? Well, as Sorkin puts it... I’ve just agreed to write a movie for Sony and producer Scott Rudin about how Facebook was invented. I figured a good first step in my preparation would be finding out what Facebook is, so I’ve started this page. (Actually it was started by my researcher, Ian Reichbach, because my grandmother has more Internet savvy than I do and she’s been dead for 33 years.) So, does this mean he'll point out the fact that ace douchenozzle Zuckerwanker actually stole the whole fucking thing from his college roomies? and that they are both attempting to sue the shit out of him in court. And why is the guy who's going to do a whole movie about Facebook, just starting a Facebook page, and like McCain, he gets his fucking researcher to do it?

I do movies... Check out my Facebook page!

Ex-playmate hits Veep gold!

As I seem to be in a political mood today, did you notice that the "Wrinkly, white haired dude," just picked an ex-beauty queen, basketball playing, gun toting, Lifetime member of the NRA, let's kill all the fucking polar bears, Alaskan Governor as his Veep Mate? What he doesn't know about Sarah Palin is that she used to be a famous model, before she got into Alaskan politics and big oil ('Cos in Alaska, they are the same thing.) If anyone has the Playboy center spread she did a few years ago, send it to me, and we'll spread it around... C'mon, all you PhotoShop wizards. Get cracking.

Wonder if Cindy knows about this shit?

Truth in advertising, and other fairy tales!

Don't ask me why, but I just clicked on a link that took me to something called AmericanSolutions. Which it turns out is the Web site for a bunch of right wing wacko's promoting "Drill Here. Drill Now. Pay Less." What pisses me off about these people (and all politicians in general) is that they lie through their fucking teeth... Here's what they say as part of a petition they want you to sign...  "We, therefore, the undersigned citizens of the United States, petition the U.S. Congress to act immediately to lower gasoline prices (and diesel and other fuel prices) by authorizing the exploration of proven energy reserves to reduce our dependence on foreign energy sources from unstable countries." Notice the use of the word - immediately - Inferring that drilling today will lower gas prices today. Which we know is absolute bullshit. Remember Joseph Goebbels said that if you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. Anyway, this isn't a political rant, it's more a truth in advertising rant... Which is, after all, a fucking oxymoron!

Makes a change from Hitler!

Dell stock tanks... Is Enfatico finally toast?

The really fucking bad after hours news on the stock market tonight was that Dell reported a 17% earnings decline... And the shares skidded by nearly 10%!!! When you consider that after Kevin Rollins left, employees thought Michael Dell would turn the ship around and bring back the good days ... But, guess what? It didn't happen. Things just got worse. He did the deal with the Poisoned Dwarf and he is now going to lie on his bed of shit for at least three years. What can I say? Lying on numbers and not reporting them, litigation in class action suits concerning warranties and Dell's Financing pitch. Unhappy employees, lowered results and shoddy customer care which all makes Dell less money. Add the weakening economy to that and things get even worse. Then... The biggest, dumbest thing you can do... Enfatico. These fucking douchenozzles deserve everything that's going to happen to them!

Comes standard on all Dell keyboards!

Steve Jobs killed off by Bloomberg!

Bloomberg yesterday killed off Apple supremo Steve GodJobs, sending him to Silicon Heaven (Or, maybe the other place) with a 17-page obit inadvertently published during an apparent update, Gawker reports. The short-lived homage - quickly pulled - contained a heartwarming tribute from Bill Gates who described Jobs as the best inspirational leader he'd ever met, while the man himself is quoted as saying: "Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me to make the big choices in life." Fucking Hell!!! Jobs can thank Bloomberg, then, for reminding him that the Grim Reaper awaits us all. The full text of the obit can be found here on Gawker. Anyway, knowing Jobs, he's got it all planned out and is going to spontaneously combust doing his keynote at Apple World!

He's also going to leave a parting gift for AppleFreaks!