AdScam/The Horror!

Dave Thomas is pissed!

Today's AdAge has a piece about the Arby's take over of Wendy's, which I wrote about the other day. Perhaps the most telling bit in the whole piece by Emily Bryson York was this... Not only has the outcome of the company's sale been an emotionally wrenching experience, but a number of operators and their families have been involved with Wendy's, and in some cases the Thomas family, since the company's birth. Which is why the dumbfuck Saatchi "Red Wig" campaign went down like a fucking lead balloon. Many of the franchisees and operators saw it as an insult to the Thomas family, even to Dave, the grand patriarch. As I've ranted often enough in the past, there are far too many fucking douchenozzles in this business who have no fucking idea how the rest of the world lives... i.e. the people they are supposedly selling to. Oh well, off to Balthazar for champers and bellons... Cheers!

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He's watching!

I speak shit... Ergo, I produce shit!!!

Update on the OGC logo fiasco I just posted on...It would seem that the logo was the effort of UK design company FHD  Who's MD Adrian Day, in the inimitable style of douchenozzles worldwide saw fit to shoot his fucking mouth off this way: “We are seeing growing demand from clients for consultancy support that spans branding, strategic and stakeholder communications, and this brief from OGC and OGC buying solutions is a perfect example of the need for a more integrated, informed approach to branding. We have worked on a number of successful corporate branding projects in the past few months and this project is an exciting new win for the business.” Well, whatever the fuck that means it's still no excuse for a minimally pathetic graphic expose of someone pulling their pud. Wankers... Ooops, for my US readers who haven't twigged on yet, as I am sure most of you have... That's fucking jerk off!

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Mr. Day... Ooraggaahh... You are in the "Red-Cliche-Zone." There is an immanent danger of self aggrandizement... Cool it you fucker!!!

What a load of Wankers!

Several people have pointed me in the direction of the new logo for the UK's HM Treasury. 'Cos if you rotate it 90 degrees it looks like a guy with a hard on, or as the Brit's say... a "stiffy." It cost a mere $28,000 to create, with is fucking peanuts when you compare it to the fortune that was spent on the disastrous 2012 London Olympics logo. You'd think by now that so many Big Dumb Clients have spent fucking fortunes on stupid logos that most people take the piss out of, they'd learn a thing or two. On the other hand you could be fucking smart like Nike, who in their first year of business asked a local graphic artist to come up with a suitable logo. The result, the famous Nike "Swoosh." The cost... Rumor has it, less than $30. On a final note, when asked about the Treasury logo, a spokesman for the OGC said... "It is not inappropriate for an organization that’s looking to have a firm grip on Government spending.”

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Wanker!

Is Draft/FCB turning into the Exon Valdez of the adbiz... Waddaya mean "turning?"

As you may notice in the comments section of my last "Cuss-O-Meter" post, someone inside the "Agency from Hell!" Namely Draft/FCB, is pointing out that the water cooler information machine at 100w33rd is busily churning out the news that the twenty five poor souls escorted off the premises on Friday may in fact, just be the tip of the iceberg compared to what is shortly to come hurtling down the fucking pipe. Even though I feel fucking sorry for all the poor schmucks who will be taking it up the arse (No. Laurence, not that way!) It couldn't happen to a worse agency. I hope this will be a salutary lesson to every BDA out there that "what goes around comes around." The sad part is that, as usual, the troops get fucked, while the scum sucking douchenozzle management simply floats above the fetid fucking pool of shit they have created. No doubt, they, along with Michael Roth, will reward themselves with gargantuan fucking "Performance" bonuses at the end of the year. Wankers!

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Hughie, Dewey & Louie would like to buy you a drink!

Cuss-O-Meter update!

Just before you all fuck off for the weekend, here's the Friday afternoon update... As you can see, I am up to 45% on the cuss-level, which is apparently 400% more than all the other sites that took the test. Next week I am aiming for 50%... If swear words in comments count... Get off you fucking arses and help here. Talking of help (not wanted, that is) Rivet, Draft/FCB's "second string" agency (how can you be second string to the world's worst fucking agency?) is laying off 25 people, even as we speak. It's what they call a "Downsizing Rumble!" Hughie, Dewey & Lewie send their condolences from the Hotel Slendide on the French Riviera!

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It's getting there. Another 5% puts me in the "F-Bomb" range!

Feeding your "Crackberry" habit!

In my opinion, anyone who owns a "Crackberry" needs to be taken behind the fucking woodshed and beat 'till they stop having shit for brains. You can live without them... Honest... Try it, you might be surprised, and it'll give those throbbing fucking texting thumbs a rest. That's why I laughed when I read this in today's New York Times... "A member of President Felipe Calderón’s delegation at a recent summit meeting in New Orleans was forced to resign after being accused of pilfering cellphones from members of President Bush’s delegation, officials said. Ms. Perino said a number of BlackBerrys disappeared. The Mexican Embassy in Washington expressed regret and said that the aide, Rafael Quintero Curiel, was asked to resign." How fucking rich is that, a member of a Presidential delegation is stealing fucking "crackberries!" How much do you want to bet he's a fucking MBA?

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And take your "Crackberries" with you!

Fuck the beef... Where's the love?

Another of my many mates, Tanner, points me at the news that Arby’s is buying Wendy’s for $2.34 billion. Apparently billionaire Nelson Petz who controls the Arby's chain has been after Wendy's for more than a year. He realized the chain was toast when he saw the Saatchi "Red Wig" ads, and realized they were fucked (OK, I made that up, but I wouldn't be surprised) Does this mean the Saatchi - Wendy relationship is doomed? I fucking hope so. Not that Arby's advertising is anything to write home about... But fuck the Lovemarks, show me the beef! Does this mean Kevin Roberts will have to spend less time flying around the world first class, staying in the five star hotels he never stops writing about on his blog? Even worse, will he have to stop going on about fucking rugby and actually produce some advertising that works? 

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Fuck Web 2.0... Honking great signs are the answer!

Gentlemen... Start your dresses!

Steve and my mates over at makethelogobigger have picked up on my post of yesterday about the new Leo Burnett dress code... Which by the way came in via freelancefred... And being a stupid old fuck, I forgot to give him credit... So now I am... Moving on, makethelogobigger is running a poll titled "Should creative's have a dress code." To which I reply yes... All creative's should wear dresses, including the guys. If I worked at Burnett - God forbid - I'd fucking show up in a dress... That's enough to give you fucking nightmares, but it would give them second thoughts. Anyway, get your arse over there and fucking vote... That's 5 Fucks on the Cuss-O-Meter... Shit... Fuck, fuck... That'll do for now.

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Good morning... I'm your new Creative Director!

Leo Burnett takes giant leap backwards!

You just know it's getting weirder and more fucked up by the day when you get news that Leo Burnett has just introduced an agency wide dress code named "Dress for Success" with particular emphasis on the scruffy fuckers in creative. No more jeans, tees and sneakers for the guys. All the women now have to dress like those weirdo breakaway Mormon freaks they just hauled off in Texas. Drug tests every Friday (OK, I just made that up.) Read all the sorry fucking details in the incredibly ugly poster below... Way to go guys... Fuck the work, as long as we walk around like a bunch of missionaries, the clients are going to love our arse. That's worth a triple fuck... Fuck, fuck, fuck!

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Fuck!

Methinks Campbell Ewald doth protest too much!

As you all know, even though I take great pride in kicking the shit out of people and agencies when they fuck up or bring the biz into ill repute. I get tons of inside stuff (some of which is so inflammatory, even I refuse to use it) from people working at shops where the shit is hitting the fan and management treats the employees like chattels. These, I gladly expose. But, the odd time I get the facts on something wrong, I fess up and publicly apologize... So, I just got an email from Bill Ludwig, Vice Chairman and Chief Creative Officer at Campbell Ewald, regarding my post of April 13th pointing out the the shop was about to lay off 60 people because Chevy was cutting billings. His reply to that was... Regarding rumors of layoffs…we are adjusting personnel assignments in response to growth areas in our business and to strengthen our competitive edge. Specifically, we're shifting staffing to three disciplines:  Digital, Customer Relationship Marketing (CRM), and Analytics. Oh C'mon Bill for Christ's sake, you didn't actually say you weren't laying anyone off... Did you? Anyway, my information came from two separate sources inside CE... Sorry Bill, you have TWO deep throats in there who are not currently happy campers! He then takes me to task on my post of the 22nd about the Navy biz being thrown into review, stating... Regarding the Navy, it is all about updating their contract terms and the mandatory government contracting process. Last time Navy was required to review the business--in 2005, we won the contract... OK, but what he failed to mention was that as per AdWeek and AdAge, the contract they won in 2005 could be renewed annually for the next five years, i.e. until 2010... The Navy didn't have to hold a review now, if they were as happy as he claims, they could just renew every year. Mmmm, sounds a bit dodgy to me... But having said all that, I wish them well in the re-pitch. He also asked me to print a litany of facts and figures about how well the agency is doing. Sorry Bill, I don't do that. I leave that kind of shit to the many hundreds of insufferably boring ad blogs out there which most people don't read. But, if anyone does want to read them, drop me an email (as you know, I am far from anonymous) and I'll be more than happy to forward them on to you. Cheers/George.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck... No Bill, that's not aimed at you or CE. I'm just trying to keep my score respectable on the "Cuss-O-Meter!"

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Bill, this isn't aimed at you... Visuals score double on the "Cuss-O-Meter."