AdScam/The Horror!

25 years on... Still the best fucking agency in the world!

I'll keep this short and sweet... Goodby, Silverstein & Partners are having a 25th anniversary party... Just for current and ex-employees, so don't try and crash it. But they have produced a video invitation, which is fucking brilliant. Check it out. Then sit down and pour yourself a stiff drink and think about what your classic BDA would have done to celebrate such an event. That's why I still think they are the best agency in America, and quite possibly, the world. Congratulations, Jeff & Rich!

No. Not Channel 4... G,S&P!

Why "ihaveanidea" has no fucking idea!

I don't know how many of you out there get bombarded with emails from this wanky outfit by the name of "IHaveAnIdea." Which smacks of being written by a bunch of losers who never actually worked in any agency worth talking about. Their major claim to fame are "Portfolio Nights" where drunken CD's hit on young chicks who want to break into the business. Anyway, they have this advice column "Ask Jancy." And this month's is a fucking classic. Someone who's been out of the business for a while asks Jancy how to get back in as a freelancer. Not only does Jancy say this is a "Boom Time" for freelancers... Where the fuck does she live... Dubai? She explains that all you have to do is "get your work in front of a CD, preferably with you attached to it." Jancy baby, what fucking planet do you live on? Just how the fuck do you accomplish that... Sit on the fucking sidewalk 'til someone let's you in the door. Every agency worth it's salt has legions of fucking security guards that won't even let you near the elevators. And no CD or his/her PA will answer your phone calls or emails. Sorry, but that's a fact of life. Apparently this awful site is run by a wanker called Ignacio Oreamuno who was once an AD at O&M, Canada. You can read a pathetic interview with him here. Talk about a parody of a fucking parody!

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This is Ignacio Oreamuno, who on his bio, claims to be a non-smoker. But is without doubt, a douchenozzle!

Get youself a new brain... Mmmm, wonder if they do livers?

With the asinine bullshit we’re consistently beaten over the head with about how Web 2.0 and Social Networking is the wave of the future, I fail to understand why people can’t arrive at the logical conclusion its greatest fucking attribute is its ability to deliver uber-cost-efficient audience aggregation for advertisers. Hello… This isn’t brain surgery here! But, having said that, the key is not to create yet another homogenous, wankfest, Web fucking 2.0 site produced by teenage douchenozzles that ends up like, God forbid, MySpace or Facebook, but to do something in the uber-targeted fashion of my all-time favorite social network, SuicideGirls. Because, sites like that deliver content capable of attracting, and holding on to passionate tattooing, piercing and weirding community members while building a super rich, desirable audience for advertisers. Recognizing this, two Mad Ave vets, John Fawcett, formerly Creative Director of Bates Worldwide, and John Garland, recently COO of JWT, New York. (Disclosure, both are old drinking mates. But, so fucking what – It’s my blog!) Have created a very clever, social networking community by the name of Headstrongbrain.com, which takes this principle of catering to a highly targeted and receptive niche market to its logical conclusion. Based on the current interest in Neuroscience as a marketing tool, and recognizing that the brain’s well being is a factor in developing healthy life styles, the site is designed to develop cognitive skills, even delay the decline of those we’ve abused over the years with too many “Mad-Men” three martini lunches. But, unlike sites that are based on fucking esoteric medical principles and sound like a load of horseshit, Headstrongbrain.com is a Gymnasium for the brain, where members can access exercises, tests and games, even have a cognitive profile created while enjoying a “brain training” regime that determines how your brain is functioning, then like a personal trainer, it stays with you to enhance your mental abilities. The beta site launches this week at www.headstrongbrain.com If it’s not too late, I’ll sign up… After another martini.

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Don't think hair... Think brain!

Is it a gondry, a geico, a gecko, or a douchenozzle?

Today, Agency Spy has a post on the first efforts of the "Wendy Wig Guys" since they saw the writing on the wall and bounced out of "Lovemarks Central." It's for an Oz soccer boot by the name of Nomis, and it sucks... Yeah, I know, everyone will say it's super cool and uber Gondry-ish. But believe me, it fucking sucks. Go watch it. It runs for 2 minutes and 20 seconds, and finally shows a fucking still frame of the product in the last 5 seconds. What the fuck was the client smoking when he/she signed off on this? It even has a fucking Geico Gecko substitute doing the VO, 'cos all soccer players are cockney's, init? You just know the only place this piece of shit will ever run is on YouTube, which is where it's been for the last two weeks, pulling a "staggering" total of 13,000 views. Maybe they can get "Becks" cheap after the Galaxy's 4-0 thrashing on Saturday.

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It's gonna cost ya $100 million. Init?

Why does most Web 2.0 look like Web 1.0

One of the panels at the PSFK NY Conference on Thursday, dealt with Social Media and included Steve Rubel, who way too many people seem to regard as some kind of fucking God. Personally, I think he's a bit of a wanker. Anyway, apart from spending most of the time trying to avoid questions from Josh Spear about Edelman's Wal-Mart blogging fuck up of a couple of years ago, he actually said one interesting thing... “Web sites are dead,” meaning that putting content on your site, more precisely, trapped inside your site, is old fashioned thinking. Some of the better "New Media" agencies, such as Modernista and ZeusJones have "sites" that are very impressive examples of coming at it from a completely different point of view, Which, as most BDA's currently have pathetic Web 1.0 sites that do little else than showcase static creative with the odd 30 second TV spot thrown in, it makes you wonder if these fuckers will ever catch up... To which the obvious answer is... Hell no!

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What the fuck... They look the same to me!

Da-Fucking-Vinci... Hot nepotism news!

Remember all the bullshit about how WPP's "in-house-hack" agency for Dell, "DaVinci," was going to reinvent old fashioned agency models... Well guess what? It turns out that the person who headed up the agency review has now become the head of the agency's new Austin office! Hmm. Isn't there a new word for that? I think it's "Cheney-ism!" Valerie Hausladen, who runs a company with the inspiring name "Edge!" Which no doubt does edgy shit, helped in the search that ended up giving the paltry $4.5 billion account to the "Poisoned Dwarf." She obviously made a Julie Roehm like impression on the little fucker, 'cos she now gets the top spot in Austin. I just hope she puts more effort into it than she does with her fucking blog, which has one entry, dated June 12th, 2007. Maybe it operates on the Dell, build-to-order model. You probably have to email her and request a fucking post. I can promise you one thing... This whole DaVinci thing will be under the AdScam microscope!

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I hear she's a hell of a lap dancer!

This just in from the guy who got fucked by Mark Zuckerberg!

Aaron Greenspan, the guy who came up with the original idea for Facebook, only to see fellow student, Zuckerberg steal it from him (He claims... He's probably right!) has a nice piece on ZDnet today, about how Facebook is fucking with its users privacy. It's well worth a read, but here's the nub of it... "There's no way social networks will put security and privacy first when their very business model gives them an incentive to do just the opposite. Just as "the free flow of information" divided us into those who hire top-dollar lawyers to keep our information private — as Facebook's chief executive did when a magazine ran an article he didn't like — and those who don't even have the right to close an account." Ouch!!! Pretty fucking strong stuff, Aaron, but I happen to think you're right. That's why I think that along with having a lousy business model, lack of privacy will ultimately kill many social networking sites.

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Doesn't he know about fucking "zit" cream?

Blogging Bullshit... But not me!

There's a very interesting post on psfk about the relevance of blogger's and their perceived powers. It centers on this year’s SXSW (a music, film and interactive conference in Austin) and talks about how many primo blogger's, such as Perez Hilton, who did fuck all before starting his blog, and is now nearly as powerful as me (remember, I have the power of life and death!)  As Trey Shelton, the poster puts it so well... "During the SXSW Interactive conference, I was discussing the rise of blog fame over a few beers with a fellow tech entrepreneur. He accounted their fame to one thing… “Everyone these days is looking for a leader.” While the next guy checks his blackberry to see what someone else is saying, these guys start writing about what they feel. They stand up and make their voice heard." Which in all modesty, is what I do... And I'm fucking modest as well!

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Perez Hilton... Douchenozzle!

I am totally fucked!!!

Just got back after a very fucked up flight from New York. Two hour delay at La Guardia... What a surprise! Made the connection in Denver by the skin of my teeth... Now totally knackered... Will post in full tomorrow about New York shenanigans... Must fucking sleep!!! Lots's more tomorrow. Cheers/George.

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Me in ten minutes!

Welcome to Heathrow... Now go home!

As I'm going to London in three weeks to speak at the "Ad Boozathon" I was not too thrilled to read that the opening of BAA’s Terminal 5 Heathrow on Thursday turned out to be a typical British fuck up, marred by the disappearance of passengers’ baggage followed by the disappearance of entire planes as the terminal’s sole occupant, BA, threw up its hands in despair. The $9 billion terminal has been touted as the gateway to a new UK, where rapidly dwindling industrial and North Sea oil revenues will be replaced by the proceeds from duty free sales. 'Cos unlike Norway, we didn't save the money, we fucking pissed it away. Wonder if Bush had anything to do with that? By mid day on Thursday there were reports of chaos as the terminal’s "so-called" high-tech baggage system failed in the first hour. Passengers arriving on the inaugural flights had to wait up to three hours for their baggage to appear, and some apparently headed out of the terminal with only their carry-on luggage. Fuck, I'd better just get drunk on the plane. Well, I was planning to do that anyway!

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Heathrow, Thursday!