AdScam/The Horror!

Telling it like it is!!!

You have to fucking love Seymour Hersh, the journalist who has poured more buckets of shit over the Bush administration than the rest of all those fuckers in the main stream media combined. In a recent interview with Der Spiegal he was asked ... So what are the options in Iraq. To which he replied... "There are two very clear options: Option A) Get everybody out by midnight tonight. Option B) Get everybody out by midnight tomorrow. The fuel that keeps the war going is us." Fucking brilliant... Could just one of the so-called Presidential candidates on either side, but particularly the Democrats, sum it up as succinctly as that? The answer is... What are you... Fucking crazy?

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What a guy!

Newt bails as greed replaces principles!

Hey, did you see my post of yesterday about douchenozzle Gingrich and how he will run for "Prez" if a bunch of brain-dead people will put up $30 million in the next three weeks so he can afford a bunch of Willie Horton, rabid attack dog ads. Well, guess what? He's decided against it, before he was really for it. Seems like he can't run for office and run his PAC "American Solutions" at the same time. And as this is his big time gravy train, it would seem that as is usual for Repugs, greed has overcome principle. Not that he ever had any. Besides which, this mealy mouthed fucker has zero chance of anyone other than the brain-dead neo-cons and born-again, fuck your cousin in the ass, pencil heads voting for him.

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My "American Solution" is in my off-shore bank account!

If you own a Blackberry... You're a wanker!

So I received an email yesterday from a good friend in New York. Unfortunately, it was sent on his Blackberry late at night while he was staggering home after getting completely fucked up in SoHo. Consequentially, it was an indecipherable pile of shit. Why people are addicted to their "Crackberry" is a big time mystery to me, you need the fingers of a sub-Saharan pygmy to use it, and people are constantly checking them in case an urgent piece of email about flushing twenty pounds of shit out of your rancid colon has just arrived. But guess what folks? I know you think you are irreplaceable at work... Well, I've got news for you, if you got run over by a bus tomorrow, you would be replaced in a minute by someone earning half as much, and within a month everyone would have forgotten that you ever fucking existed. It's called welcome to "Advertising in the 21st Century!"

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Duh!!!

JWT Shuffle, Reshuffle, Kerfuffle?

This might have nothing to do with the JWT management reshuffle I posted about the other day. But, the news out of JWT today is that John Garland has quit. Originally head of Broadcast Production, John increasingly took over various other responsibilities until I am sure he was responsible for ensuring the paper in the toilets was tri-ply, rather than the torn up newspaper he was used to while growing up in Dickensian Britain... Just taking the piss John! No word on where he's going in the immediate future. But, as he's worked all over the bloody world, it could be anywhere. Anyway, I wish him luck. He's a nice guy. Ooops, I didn't say fuck once. Best of fucking luck John.

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No more of this shit... Right John?

Newt Gingrich... What a wanker!

You have to laugh at the news that Newt Gingrich will run for President if donors will pledge him $30 million in the next three weeks. Fuck principle, fuck ideas, it's all about the money and how many really fucking bad attack ads he can buy. Most politicians are scumbags, but Gingrich is the guy who while screaming for the impeachment of Clinton was fucking one of his aides, then topped it off by serving divorce papers to his wife who was in hospital with cancer. No doubt, he'll run on a family values platform. Republicans have severe problems with their candidates on morals when compared to the Democrats. The top three Democrats have 3 marriages between them. The top 3 Republicans have 6! The worst they could come up with about Al Gore was that he went to a fund-raiser with some monks and didn’t realize it was a fund-raiser. Oh yeah, and John Kerry shot himself in the leg to get his purple heart. Oh, and Max Cleland is a coward terrorist. Fucking Neo-Con Douchnozzles!!!

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No prizes for guessing which school Newt went to!

Senator Larry Craig... What a douchnozzle!

Living in Idaho, I have to get a certain amount of amusement out of the slightly to the right of Genghis Khan politics rife in this state. The majority of voters here are supporting Senator "Wide Stance" Craig in his efforts to stay in the Senate. No doubt they will find absolutely nothing wrong with the news tonight (Thursday) that this closeted asshole has just voted to end debate on the "Mathew Shepard Act," which would expand federal hate crimes laws to include violence based on a victim's sexual orientation. The stunning hypocrisy of this piece of rancid dogshit never ceases to amaze me. Even worse are the fucking douche nozzles who will continue to vote for him if given the chance. Larry... Have you no shame?

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Senator Craig is working from home today!

Rearranging the deck chairs on the good ship Ogilvy!

I read with a certain amount of frustration the news in yesterday's AdWeek that O&M, New York is reorganizing it's upper management team. I have a lot of fondness for Ogilvy, having freelanced there, off and on, for many years. I also have a lot of friends in the organization, including Steve Hayden, who wrote a great forward to MadScam. As my pal Bruce points out... AdWeek's take on the press release....”a move AWAY from co-titles...” Seems a bit strange when they mention seven fucking co-this or co-that's in the article. Remember the good old days when one person was in charge of shit, bearing sole responsibility for the good and the bad? No Bruce, those days are long gone. But the days of CEO's talking shit are still with us... In a statement, North American co-CEO Bill Gray said: "We are fortunate to have a team of proven executives who think and act in a media agnostic way. With this team in place, we have more opportunities to influence brand experience, to bring new and different creative ideas and strategies to our clients and to help their businesses succeed as never before." Considering they haven't picked up any new biz in the last 50 years or so, maybe Bill should consider that those "proven" executives have been proving the wrong thing!

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Captain Carla... I think we have a problem!

Interpublic dude... You're getting a Dell... I don't fucking think so!!!

Ok... So, the news is that Interpublic, under the aegis of Super Fuck Up, Michael Roth, has put together a multi-agency team to pitch the Dell account with The Martin Agency leading the charge. But the weird news is that they have Rivet heading up the DM part of the pitch... And having worked on Dell for many years, I can tell you that irrespective of how many $50 PC's they sell in Wal-Mart, the direct channel is how Michael Dell amassed all his fucking billions. He knows more about this shit than Howard has pictures of his naked girlfriend on his fucking cell phone. On top of this, my spies tell me Rivet now consists of a receptionist, a security guard, and a fucking parrot on a perch in the reception area, who every time Laurence comes through the door says... Who's a pretty boy then? This should be an interesting few weeks!

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I hear the "Effen-Effen" is fucking awesome!

FaceBook sticks it up MySpace's arse... In Britain!

With the news out of Britain that one month earlier than predicted, Facebook has overtaken MySpace, with more UK unique users in August (6.5 million) than MySpace (6.4 million), it will be interesting to see how the battle for a chunk of FaceBook transpires over the next few weeks. Right now Big, bad, fucking Microsoft is in discussions about acquiring a 5% stake in the company, which has a valuation of about $10 billion. Standing in the wings is the 800 pound gorilla with really fucking bad breath... Google, which is very interested in grabbing a share of the fast rising social networking site. Either way, founder Mark Zuckerberg looks set to pocket a huge amount of money if a bidding war starts up. Perhaps he can use some of that to fight off a law suit from a college mate, who claims Zuckerberg stole the original idea for FaceBook from him when they were both at Harvard. You just can't trust these rich kid wankers!

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MySpace - YourSpace - OurSpace!!!

Draft/FCB does Hanson... That's right, fucking Hanson!!!

One of my Draft/FCB spies forwarded me today's "Brown Bag Concert Series" memo...

MEMORANDUM
To: Everyone at Draftfcb New York
From: Chris Becker
Re: Brown Bag Concert Series Presents Hanson Today at Noon
Date: September 25, 2007
Draft/fcb New York's Brown Bag Concert Series presents Hanson today on the 8th floor at noon.

Holy shit... Fucking Hanson, America's favorite Pop Rock Teen Brother band, all the way from fucking Oklahoma... Wonder if they sang my all time favorites... "Rockin' Robin" and "Splish Splash?" You just know they're doing the backing for Draft/FCB's next "Rumble" video! Is Chris Becker now a fucking booking agent? What's next Chris... Kenny fucking G?

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No Laurence... Don't even think about it!