AdScam/The Horror!

Julie Roehm... Legal fucking genius!

In today's New York Post, there's a great piece by my mate Holly Sanders about how... "Financier Irwin Jacobs is demanding a public retraction from fired Wal-Mart ad executive Julie Roehm after she accused him of cutting sweetheart deals with Wal-Mart chief H. Lee Scott. Jacobs was drawn into the ugly legal battle between Wal-Mart and its former ad chief last week when Roehm alleged that his relationship with Scott went beyond business and violated Wal-Mart's ethics code. Jacobs, who has called the allegations "totally off the wall," said he sent a letter to Roehm and her attorneys giving them until the close of business today to agree to a retraction. He said he will sue over her "defamatory" remarks if she doesn't." Like I said a few days ago, this guy is going to nail Julie's hide to the fucking wall... Now it's starting to get really interesting!

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I rest my case. Not to mention my aching arse!

Axe axes "Douche!"

Steve Hall over at AdRants had a great post the other day featuring a video for Douche Cologne that was a parody of all the fucking cliches you find in the Axe TV spots... Same old same old... "Splash this on... Get laid." Very funny. But guess what. After two days YouTube pulled the video. Meaning that whoever owns Axe (Is it P&G? I have no idea) obviously put heavy pressure on YouTube. That's what happens when you sell out for a shit load of money. That's why MySpace is turning into a fucking non-stop promotional vehicle for Fox. The Wizened of Oz will get his money's worth. That's why, If he ever gets his hands on the Wall Street Journal you can look forward to naked chicks on page three. And as I'm in London, I'm ogling one now!

Who'snext... Hillary?

God, this beer tastes good!

Well, we certainly have a nice thread going on all the Julie" posts. Between Tangerine Toad, GI Joe and KBAM, you guys are certainly raising all kinds of possible shit that can happen... But I have to take umbridge with KBAM's comment... Likely cost: $1M+, plus W-M agrees to carry book in stores. Book morphs from "tell-all" into toned down but edgy "Envelope-Pusher/Mktg 2.x Guide to the Universe." Book now playfully critical of W-M, but not hostile. I don't think there's a snowball's chance in hell of Wal-Mart carrying anything that Julie writes... And in the great tradition of "Donny - The world's largest limp dick - Deutsch," it'll probabl;y be ghost written. Hey, maybe she'll hire me for the job. By the way, did you know that Jerry Delafamina's world famous book... "From those wonderful people who brought you Pearl Harbor" was fucking ghost written for him after the publisher turned down the first three drafts? Just as most of his "Award Winning" ads, never ran. Now he has a grocery store in the Hamptons... But he's a rich fucker, and I'm jealous. Gotta go now, the pubs have been open for hours. 68 degrees my arse!

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This'll work!

The Queen said to say "Hello!"

I'm writing this sat in my hotel room in London. I'm here for the PSFK Conference tomorrow. There's still time to get to it if you are interested and happen to be reading this in the UK. Should be a good event, lots of bright people there like Johnnie Vulkan, Russell Davies, and a ton of others I can't remember, but you can get the details at the PSFK site. Tonight is all about  "Getting to know" my fellow Brand Republic bloggers at a secret boozer in SoHo. As I've been up for about thirty six hours, I should be in great shape. Still, I'm looking forward to it. Nothing that a few pints and a few jellied eels can't cure. I'll post some more tomorrow when I've recovered a bit.

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Who said the English aren't gourmets?

Rule Britannia!

So today I’m on my way to London to speak at the PSFK Conference on June 1^st, then spend the rest of my time there getting arseholed as we say in Britain. Lots of steak and kidney pudding, jellied eels and tripe and onions… Yum. All the stuff that makes most American’s freak out. And by the way, the beer isn’t warm, it’s cellar temperature. That way you can taste it, unlike “Lite” beer which tastes like… Fucking nothing. Anyway, enough of the gourmet delights. I shall be on a plane flying from San Francisco over the Pole and on to London, so I won’t be posting after this until tomorrow. But don’t worry; I shall be here on AdScam as soon as I sober up from the flight. I’ll be in Business Class, so the booze is FREE. I’ll say hello to the Queen for you all… Cheers/George

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That Julie woman sounds like a right bitch!

Julies PR machine is cranking like a mother!!!

Today's Bloomberg.com carries a story claiming that Wal-Mart is facing pressure to settle the suit with Loony Julie. Then when you read the bloody thing, it turns out this is the opinion of ONE guy, Carl Tobias, a law professor at the University of Richmond in Virginia, who had this to say... "This kind of litigation would complicate Wal-Mart's ability to hire top-line executives. `Especially if they thought they would be fired after a short period on the job and then be accused of improper behavior.'' Hello Professor, she was fired after a short period on the job, 'cos she fucked up and pissed off everyone she worked with (except Sean, particularly when she looked in his eyes as he kissed her!) And she was only accused of improper behavior when she decided to sue Wal-Mart for wrongful dismissal. Seems to me the pressure is on the "Rock Star." And it will just get worse. Wal-Mart will not cave on this. They didn't get where they are today without riding roughshod over bigger obstacles than Julie.

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Julie... Julie... How can you hope to compete against this kind of shit?

All the news that's fit to print... Unless it's about advertising!

I know I've ranted in the past about how fucking lame the New York Times Ad Column is these days, particularly since it's been taken over by Stuart Elliott and his merry band of juvenile assistants. But as usual, he's managed to piss me off again. Every now and then he trots out these lamo twenty question features that usually have no relevance to anything anyone gives a shit about. Like today's sample, of which maybe five items have had anything to do with advertising. The rest were all about TV sitcoms and fucking baseball. Hey, Stew Baby... The header on your pathetic column says... Advertising... So lets try and talk about that. Fuck it's bad enough that AdAge and AdWeek spend most of their drastically reduced content talking about the new CEO of ButtFuck Co. Or the way Bummmer Inc is working towards cleaning up the environment. I, and all the really smart readers of AdScam, want to know about advertising... So can we try and stay on message here? Oh, and Stuart, stop printing really old news, like today's "Addenda" bit that points out the US Census Bureau Account is up for grabs. Even the fucking "Gorilla" told the world they were pitching that about three weeks ago.

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Hey Stuart... If you want to know what is really going on in the ad biz... Read AdScam!

MBA + Golf = CEO > BDA. Fucking perfect!

In keeping with the very high standards (In my humble opinion) of many of the comments being posted about Julie's legal "Sturm und Drang," Check out KBAM's post of a couple of hours ago on the "Effen - Effen" thread. Excellent... Here's my reply... KBAM. You're dead right that this will make a great business school study for people prepared to spend shitloads of money to get an MBA. When really, as with most things in life, it's all about the application of common sense. Reminds me of Randal Rothenberg's "Where the suckers Moon." Still one of the best books ever written on the insanities of this business. If you haven't read it, buy it now when you're ordering your Mum's copy of MadScam.

The fees include a personal golf cart and all the Egg Foo Yung you can shove down your pie-hole. And no... I'm not a fucking racist!

Denny Crane is a prince!

If you want the facts about the Julie Roehm "Insanity" plea and how it will probably play out in the legal system, I strongly advise you to read any of the comments posted on AdScam by Denny Crane, particularly the one of May 25th. Obviously this guy knows his legal shit and how it relates to the Ad Biz. I don't know who you are Sir, but I tip my hat to you. I also raise my filled to the brim "Effen - Effen" glass. Also a "Highly Commended" for KBAM, who also knows what the fuck he's talking about. Keep the comments coming guys. And if you're not guys, I apologize up front. Very enjoyable.

Cheers/George

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No, it's not me... I'm much uglier than that!

Julie tell GSD&M to "Effen" off!

Danny g over at AdPulp had an interesting post on May 25th about how Roy Spence over at GSD&M didn't quite tell Julie Roehm to shove the Wal-Mart account up her arse straight away. Danny points out that... Roehm was asked by Roy Spence of GSD&M for a list of the most important and strategic thinkers in the marketing industry. Roehm provided Spence with a list, and he subsequently hired nearly all of them to act as consultants for his team for the agency review process. Wonder how much that piece of suck-up cost? Seems like they also asked for extra time in their presentation and got it. As well as trips to Austin by Wal-Mart management to provide "greater insight into the brand strategy." As Danny puts it rather pithily... Despite all of these accommodations to GSD&M, that agency did not win the Wal-Mart account. Well hell yes. Julie had made up her mind in favor of "The Gorilla" the day that case of "Effen - Effen" arrived on the doorstep. It all goes to prove what I never cease saying... BDA's will sell their children into fucking slavery if it will help them hold onto an account!

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Two cases gets you a lap dance!