AdScam/The Horror!

The Poisoned Dwarf takes it in the ass... Again!

News today that Sprint, which spends about $1.2 billion annually in major measured media, has chosen the best agency in America, Goodby, Silverstein & Partners, over O&M to handle their account must have put "The Diminished One" in a foul mood for the week-end. Jesus, he just won a few dollars settlement from "The Mad Mafia" and now the shit hits the fan. Earlier in the week Y&R, another WPP shop got knocked out, so "His Gnomeship" went from having a 66% chance of winning the biz... To Zip, in a few short days! That's $40 million in income down the tubes. Remember my post of the other week... The red carpets at "Casa David" are really going to be fucking red now. I hope everyone's got their book in shape. The selection came after the finalists made presentations Friday morning to Sprint's executive team, including CEO Gary Forsee, at the company's office in Kansas City. That's a pretty damn quick decision. Rumor has it that "The Basement Lair" is littered with voodoo dolls of Jeff and Rich with millions of pins stuck in their heads!

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Jesus Jeff. First he stuck pins in you, then he fucked with your hair!

Jonah Bloom morphs into Professor David Vinjamori.

So... This NYU professor by the name of David Vinjamori has written this dumb ass piece on how Wal-Mart is fucked because they've hade the nerve to go after poor defenceless Julie. He claims that the publicity in Friday's New York Times will give the brand a bad name 'cos the customers won't like it. Hello... We're talking Wal-Mart here David. I wonder what percentage of Wal-Mart's customers read the NYT... In fact, I wonder what percentage of Wal-Mart customers fucking read? Anyway, I sent him a reply (Not a single fuck in it!) This is it...

David

You seem to have the wrong end of the stick here with your comments on Wal-Mart’s firing of Julie Roehm. The company only made public the lurid details of her dismissal when she sued them for wrongful termination.

Your statement that… “The real lesson of the HP scandal was that any corporation should understand that treatment of (and trust in) its own employees is directly connected to the equity of the brand with its consumers”…. Fails to take into account that when she accepted the position with Wal-Mart, I must assume that she signed a contract, and I am sure that part of the conditions of employment in that contract included not doing the four things I am sure Wal-Mart will prove she did in a court of law.

Having sexual relations with another employee.

Accepting gifts and favors from a vendor, which as you only choose to mention her having a ride in Howard Draft’s Aston Martin, I should point out also included $450 cases of vodka and $2000 dinners. – By the way, Howard’s Aston failed to start!

Providing confidential Wal-Mart information and communications to Draft/FCB

But what was really egregious, and should make her unemployable by any right minded company in the future, was that while engaged in an agency search on behalf of Wal-Mart, which she was unquestionably tipping in Draft/FCB’s direction, she and Sean Womack were negotiating themselves a future job with the agency. Not only is this in flagrant breach of her contract, it’s also highly unethical, and may even verge on being criminal!

I also take issue with your statement… “And it is clear that what invited this story was Wal-Mart's aggressive approach to ending its employment relationship with Julie Roehm.” No. Julie invited this story by filing suit and then giving interviews in innumerable papers and magazines to present herself as the “Victim” of big bad Wal-Mart. To the point were in her latest interview she is playing the “Sexist” card by stating that the real reason for her dismissal was that a bunch of Good-Old-Boys down in Bentonville didn’t like the idea of taking the advice of a female.

I don’t agree with you that Wal-Mart’s actions have hurt the brand. But I would insist that Julie’s actions have probably killed hers. Unless she sees a future as the Tonya Harding of the marketing world.

You can read much more from me on this subject, and the many, many comments of others at one of my blogs… www.adscam.typepad.com

Finally, I agree with Theo Kie, I doubt if a single Wal-Mart customer is aware of this situation, so how it is damaging the brand is beyond my ken. Your example of Nordstrom treating customers well by taking back tires they never sold (which is a myth, by the way, there is absolutely no record of this ever happening, but it does make a good story to use during presentations) has no relevance. Julie wasn’t a customer, she was an employee, and don’t think the average Wal-Mart customer gives a fig that the “Associates” serving them have little health care, often work overtime without pay, and have to rely on Medicaid for their children’s health needs. What they are truly concerned about is if they can buy a six pack of Bud a nickel cheaper than at CosCo! Nordstrom customers they aint. And they don’t read the New York Times.

Cheers/George

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Tonya and Julie will do three rounds with any Wal-Mart manager.

I wonder if Julie Roehm is having a nice relaxing week-end?

I don't know why... Well, yes I do, it's like looking at train wrecks, you can't help yourself... But I just re-read the piece in yesterday's New York Times we all discussed yesterday about Wal-Mart applying the nut crackers to Julies head. I mean when you read how they followed people to Guatemala and listened through the bedroom door to "Moans and sighs" to nail a couple for having it off on company time and expenses... Then you know with an army of ex-CIA and FBI jokers on Julie's and Sean's trail, they are well and truly fucked. Plus, as I've said before, I'll bet they have even more stuff in reserve to pour shit all over the "Rock Star" if it ever gets to court. But even she can't be stupid enough to let it get to that stage... Allthough, if she drops her suit, which is unwinable anyway, Wal-Mart can still proceed with theirs, she can't do a damn thing to stop it. Right now, in the immortal words of Terry Southern... "Her head was full of bent wire coat hangers and snakes!"

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Julie, "Effen" it aint. But if I were you, I'd be getting shit faced right now!

Who needs Julie Roehm when you can watch really exciting stuff?

An anonymous smart arse I know in New York sent me a link to a Web page she thought I might find as a calming influence after all the Julie/Sean excitement this week... CheddarVision.tv is a site devoted solely to a locked-off webcam non-stop video of a cheddar cheese maturing! Hot stuff... But not as gripping as this one... Iowa Farmer Today, which has a webcam video of a fucking corn field growing, can you take all the excitement here? The problem with the corn field site is that there's not much growing on it at this time of the year. But, if you check back in a couple of months, you'll see shit starting to grow. Hey... Computer fucking dogs, exploding clocks, cheese maturing, an empty field... It's all happening at AdScam!

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AdScam... 120% good shit!

Julie Roehm... For your own sake, why don't you... Shut the fuck up!

The continuing saga of Julie's claims that she is the victim of a "Smear" campaign ramped up another notch with today's AdWeek piece. Apart from the same bullshit about having the emails she and Sean "ToyBoy" sent to each other along the steaming pipes of the Internet... She has now added "Computer Hackers" to the list of ex-CIA, ex-FBI, ex-Sheep fuckers, she claims were unleashed on her by America's favorite retailers. Quote of he day is... When Wal-Mart filed the countersuit, Mona Williams, a company rep, said at the time that it "had no intention of sharing the details of her personal and professional misconduct... Now we must respond to her lawsuit. We are in a position where we have no choice but to share the real story of what happened." Fucking right Mona... Julie... Lesson number one from GI Joe... Never put anything you don't want the world to see in an email... Lesson number two... Never think you are smart enough to take on an 8 million pound gorilla, when your resources consists of your kid's college fund. See ya on aisle three!

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We have "Effen" good vodka on aisle three!

CANAL breaks the bank with "Brokeback Mountain!"

One of the best commercials of last year was the CANAL spot for "March of the Emperors." If you're not aware of it, get out of the fucking business now! So, CANAL has just done another epic for "Brokeback Mountain." Funny as hell. Leave it to the "Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey's" To show the nation of "The Great Decider" what good TV ads are all about. Way better than using dead people like Orville and Burt, or putting plastic heads on wankers. CP+B take note... This ain't Hoopla... It's what great fucking advertising is all about!

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Watch out for those cowboys!

The Julie Roehm implosion. Coming to a book store near you?

Drentzel and Ron commented on the posting of the Wall Street journal piece earlier. I'm re-posting it here, because I think they both made valid points, and as some of you lazy fuckers might not read all the comments, here it is...

You both make valid points... As I have said before, both here and in comments on other sites, the sex thing is stupid, as is taking cases of vodka and $2000 meals etc... but that's the "Juicy" stuff everyone's been concentrating on. Far worse, particularly if she ever wants to work again, is the fact that they were angling for a job with one of the agencies they were interviewing to take on the account... Plus, they were feeding Draft/FCB confidential internal Wal-Mart emails to give them the edge in the pitch... I don't know if that's considered a criminal act... But I do know no employer in their right mind would hire someone proven to have done these things.
As for the book deal. That would only make sense if it was full of the "Juicy Bits." which would mean Lulie fessing up to all the things she claims not to have done. No publisher will buy a book that in effect says... "I didn't do anything wrong," 'Cos no one would want to read it. That means she's stuck between a rock and a hard place. Plus, when she loses... And she will, she'll spend the rest of her life paying the legal fees. On the other hand, Sean could do a "Tell-All" book about how he was seduced by an older "Rock Star" woman who caused him to lose his family, his two palatial homes, and his future career as a big time producer in Hollywood!

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Now on aisle three at your local Wal-Mart!

Florida tops in toiletry!

We all know that America is increasingly suffering from an obesity problem brought on by people dumb enough to think they can eat six pizzas at a sitting and compensate by washing them down with a six pack of Bud Light. However, it would seem that the State of Florida has decided to do something about it. They have built the world’s biggest toilet. Yes, that’s it pictured below. Now, when you’re unfortunate enough to be in Florida, you can not only supersize your Big Mac, you can relax in the knowledge that you can supersize the after effects. Big enough to accommodate a 120 foot wide arse, you can enjoy a close up of the latest in toilet technology here to on Google Maps. That's funny, I would have thought Texas might have claimed this break through in King sized crappers first. Particularly as they’re so full of shit. Standing by for the hate mail.

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Thank God they left the lid down!

The Julie Roehm Wall Street Journal Statement. As requested... Read it and weep!!!

Statement by Julie Roehm
March 28, 2007 2:15 p.m.

March 27, 2007

You ask for comments relating to my situation with Wall-Mart... They follow:

When I look back over the whirlwind of the last 15 months of my life, here's what I see: I left a successful career in Detroit, uprooted my family to move to Arkansas, and took on a demanding job at Wal-Mart as part of its shift in marketing strategy. I threw myself into the job, traveling constantly and working tirelessly to master several components at the same time. I saved the company hundreds of thousands of dollars in fees and costs right off the bat, just using my experience in selecting and negotiating advertising spots. I engineered a thorough and meticulous campaign to hire an advertising agency, and guided a company that had never been through the process before in selecting what everyone, from outside research parties to internal participants, agreed was the best candidate.

But somewhere along the way, senior executives at Wal-Mart seemed to feel that maybe change wasn't such a good idea. Perhaps some did not like following or taking the advice of a woman. I received no guidance, direction, or communication about any unhappiness with my work. Yet I unceremoniously was removed from my job without explanation, and then informed that Wal-Mart would not even honor the terms of a separation agreement.

Now Wal-Mart has concocted a smear campaign against me. Under cover of a counterclaim, Wal-Mart is insinuating things about my personal life and pretending I violated some code of ethics with advertisers, all to distract from the reality that it didn't want my form of progressive marketing. In addition to refusing to honor my contract, Wal-Mart has used anonymous witnesses and employed selective use of email, taken way out of context. When you patch together pieces of messages sent at different times, you can create pretty much any story you want. As in other cases, Wal-Mart has attacked the victim.

Obviously, I am at a great disadvantage. I don't have the same resources as the world's largest company. They outman me with private investigators, computer hackers, ex-CIA operatives, former FBI men, and an army of public relations operatives. My family is eating through savings intended for our son's college tuition, as we try to navigate a legal dispute with one of America's most successful corporations. Yet all I am asking for is a fair honoring of the contractual agreement I had with Wal-Mart.

If I had believed that I had done anything wrong, I would not have filed suit for payment on terms spelled out in my separation agreement. When I filed my suit, I did not publicize it. In fact, it took over a month for anyone to learn that the suit even existed. I was not trying to embarrass the company. Who is trying to embarrass whom?

My family and I want to move forward. We have reason to fear, I know, from a company that thinks nothing of publicly destroying families. I want to continue my career in marketing. I know I have a lot to offer, and I don't want to waste time looking backward.

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Famous lessons from history. Julie take note!!!

Julie Roehm... It's not even funny any more!!!

Today's Wall Street Journal on-line has a statement by Ms. Roehm laying out the reasons why she thinks she is being victimized by the Big-Bad-Retailer. Amongst other things she claims she actually saved the company hundreds of thousands of dollars by accepting two thousand dollar dinners from vendors who weren't even vendors, 'cos they were pitching for the business at the time. She talks about how she uprooted her family to move to Arkansas and now Wall-Mart is publicly destroying her family... Mmmm, I wonder how Shelley Womack feels about that? She even claims that Wal-Mart has ex-CIA operatives and former FBI men besmirching her pure-as-the-driven-snow reputation. But what is totally asinine, and further proof that this woman is missing a few tiles from her roof, is that she plays the "Gender" card, claiming that all this came about because senior executives "did not like following or taking the advice of a woman!" Oh Julie... You poor, sad fucker... I have no doubt that Mary Wells, Shelly Lazarus, Helayne Spivak, Barbara Lippert, Charlotte Beers, and all the other women who've succeeded in the ad biz based on their incredible talent, skills and unmatched good humor, would love to take you out behind the wood shed and beat some fucking sense into your pathetic head. I hate to say this, but I'm actually starting to feel sorry for this woman... But, as Zippy The Pin-Head would say... Nahh... She deserves every horrible thing that's going to happen to her. Not because she's inherently bad... She's just obviously stupid. If she had half a brain, instead of splashing her increasingly pathetic name all over the media, she would Shut The Fuck Up... Having said that, I have to think that her lawyers must be more stupid than she is.

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Hey... Don't knock Julie. We both share the same wardrobe consultant!