I just watched a video of the launch of Jeff Bezos’s new space ship “New Shepard.” You have to see this thing, you'll wet yourself. Apart from the fact that that they’re about three months late releasing the video, I do have to say one thing. You call that a fucking space ship, Jeff? You’d think with all his billions he could have afforded something a little more stylish. You know, all silver with a pointed nose and fins and shit. This thing looks like an upturned egg cup and it stands on little broomstick thin legs. It actually went up a couple of hundred feet, then came right back down. Bezos said: "We're working, patiently and step-by-step, to lower the cost of spaceflight so that many people can afford to go; (Does that mean free shipping, Jeffo?) and so that we humans can better continue exploring the Solar System." Fucking Solar System… I’d be surprised if you could get down the block in that thing, besides which, who’s going to pay millions to fly around in something that looks like that? And if the space suits match the fucking Space Ship, you’ll probably get kitted out in second-hand Carhartts. All available at you-know-where!
You call that a space ship, asshole?