Today's San Jose Mercury published this piece... My comments are in BOLD ITALICS...
CHICAGO - Hewlett-Packard shareholders hoping for news about the company's search for a new chief executive walked away from the company's annual meeting Wednesday disappointed, a mood that matched sentiments about the computer and printer giant's performance. UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR! As the meeting began, HP's non-executive chairman, Patricia Dunn, told shareholders the company would not answer any questions about the search to replace Carly Fiorina. ``We are pleased with our progress,'' WHO EXACTLY, ARE THE "WE?" said Dunn, noting that all board members are participating in the search. WHICH WOULD BE THE SAME NUMBNUTS WHO HIRED CARLY IN THE FIRST PLACE! She gave no sense when the search may be completed, nor who is being considered for the CEO post. ``Obviously, we are in a sensitive time period and an important juncture in HP's history,'' Dunn told shareholders. DAMN RIGHT, IT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN THE TOILET! ``While we are not satisfied with the company's performance, we believe deeply in the future of Hewlett-Packard.'' Some shareholders raised questions about Fiorina's $21 million severance package, WHICH WAS ACTUALLY $42 MILLION! While many at the meeting said that they were happy to see Fiorina leave, they found her severance package excessive. DAMN FUCKING RIGHT! ``Why do CEOs need this kind of money?'' asked a shareholder. ``The board feels it is not in the best interest to have protracted negotiations with people when they leave the company,'' replied Dunn. YEAH, 'COS THAT'S KINDA TACKY! Phil Eden, a retired 27-year HP veteran, said,"Dave Packard said if you can't make any money in a business get out of it.'' Interim CEO Bob Wayman laughed and said, ``I think I've heard that one, too.'' BOY, THAT'S A KNEE SLAPPER, BOB! ``The question `What would they do?' is asked with great frequency in the board room, she said. Eden, who noted that half of his net worth is tied up in HP stock, YOU DUMB FUCK! said he wasn't satisfied with the answers. ``What happened to HP? Where is the innovation?'' IT'S NOW "INVENT" YOU DIPSHIT! "We are looking for someone to run the company,'' Dunn said. "The board is always considering decisions that will impact shareholder value.'' RIGHT, LIKE WHEN YOU HIRED CARLY! Clint Vose, a current HP employee, said ``We have to stop the bleeding,'' Wayman responded that sometimes HP must make cuts in its workforce. ``Without making these adjustments, all are at risk,'' he said. HEY, WAYMAN, WHY DON'T YOU PUT YOUR HEAD ON THE BLOCK?