The big news of the weekend is that NASA’s new $23 million space toilet is fully cleared for take-off to the International Space Station next week. You can read all the shitty details here. In the meantime, they are working on a gold version for the Trump Intergalactic Black Hole Hotel.
Welcome to Trump Universe.
Magawa, a 5-year-old African giant pouched rat, was recognized with a prestigious honor for his work detecting mines and explosives in Cambodia. He is the first rat to receive the award — a gold medal bestowed by the People’s Dispensary for Sick Animals, a British charity, that is often called the “animal’s George Cross.” Magawa, was trained to detect TNT, the chemical compound within explosives. The ability to sniff out TNT makes him much faster than any person in searching for land mines, as he can ignore scrap metal that would usually be picked up by a metal detector. When he is not in the minefield, the two-foot-long rat likes snacking on bananas, peanuts and watermelons, and taking a spin on the running wheel. Good for him. None of that sewer shit for Magawa.
Good looking little bugger...
Maybe he could join “cuddles” and I for some wine.
Remember how protesters on Monday gathered outside South Carolina Senator “Miss” Lindsey Graham's house to "wake him up" over his scum sucking hypocritical push to quickly replace Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg? In several videos posted to Twitter, protesters can be seen filling the streets outside of Graham's home, yelling "wake him up" while banging pots and pans. Yes, he has a big house in Washington, D.C. He also has big house in Clemson, South Carolina. So, I ask myself why this guy needs two big houses. Then it dawns on me...
More closet space!
Did you see that Dr. Birx is said to be distressed over the pandemic task force’s newest deadly huckster? This would be the arrival of batshit crazy medico, Dr. Scott Atlas. Atlas, who has no expertise in infectious disease whatsoever, has become a White House favorite for having Fox News opinions that match what Trump and Trump’s top aides most want to hear. He says the focus on masks is too much. He thinks the path forward is to embrace "population immunity," removing current pandemic safety measures. Instead, we let everyone in America get the virus all at once, with high-risk groups isolating themselves as best they can. Yeah, that makes as much sense as shooting up with Lysol and shoving a neon tube up your arse.
Atlas... Anti-Bra?
For years we’ve read about notoriously extravagant habits of Netanyahu and his wife. She was once found to be making staff collect empty soda bottles, collect the nickel refund charge, and give it to her! Now this from WaPo... “Over the years, the Israeli leader has developed a reputation among the staff at the U.S. president’s guesthouse for bringing special cargo on his trips to Washington: bags and suitcases full of dirty laundry, according to U.S. officials familiar with the matter. The clothes are cleaned for the prime minister free of charge by the U.S. staff, a perk that is available to all foreign leaders but sparingly taken advantage of given the short stays of busy heads of state.” There were also reports that Netanyahu and his wife took 11 suitcases on a one-day trip to Portugal in December. Netanyahu’s office denied speculation that the suitcases were filled with dirty laundry, saying they included items he needed for his office work. Yes, you can go through a lot of pencils and pads in a day... Give me a fucking break!
Did you pack the underpants I shit in last week?
The removal of racial symbols in packaging and advertising continues unabated with the news today that after 74 years, “Uncle Ben’s” will become “Ben’s Original.” Oh yeah, that’s a big difference. Mind you, Aunt Jemima wasn’t too thrilled when she found out that her steady Squeeze would be joining her in the dumpster of marketing history. As I’ve posted previously, for many years Robertson’s, Britain’s biggest maker of jams and marmalade's, used a gollywog on their packaging and in their advertising. Finally, the symbol was dropped in 2001. As you would expect, a mealy-mouthed Robertson’s spokes-hack explained… “We are retiring Golly because we found families with kids no longer necessarily knew about him. We are not bowing to political correctness but like with any great make we have to move with the times.” Very bollocky...
Your Uncle and Aunt said shut the fuck up and eat...
So, Cindy McCain just endorsed Joe Biden and said she will be voting for him. Good for her. Now, if you want to know how fucked up half this once great country has become. Go and read the comments to this news on the Fox Website. Not only are the majority of them totally cretinous in their understanding of what this American hero did with his life... They are disgustingly cruel and devoid of empathy... Just like their hero, “Bone Spurs Der Trumpf.” No surprise there.
Hannity’s down here somewhere... (Click on it)
As I have pointed out recently, I was amused to read that The Poisoned Dwarf (Sorrell Senior) during one of his innumerable interviews was saying that WPP was now too big and should be broken up, which is laughable when you consider that it got that way because he bought over 600 companies in the 35 years he ran it. Now he’s doing the same thing at S4 Capital. Then this morning I read over at MediaPost that his son Mark Sorrell (Who I shall now refer to as The Poisoned Dwarf Junior) just got a big new job at Goldman Sachs having been appointed co-head of the financial services giant’s global M&A practice. The little nipper previously led Goldman’s M&A practice in Europe, the Middle East and Africa. No doubt, like his Dad he will trouser mega-millions whilst sucking the life blood out of all the companies he buys up. Isn’t capitalism great?
There are more sons waiting in the wings...
You will be thrilled shitless to hear that Larry “I’ve fucked everything up in my life” Kudlow, Der Trumpf’s White House economic adviser told reporters Monday that the United States has “regained control of the virus,” blaming the United Kingdom and Europe on any stock market concerns. “I do think however there’s some worries that Britain might shut down. It’s coming out of London, I can’t verify it’s not my job, (Yes it is, you fucktard) but I read the reports like everybody else and I think that’s a great concern. The USA is in much better position, thankfully. We’ve regained control of the virus, both the cases and the fatalities. (No we haven’t you fucktard) He also claimed that the economy’s recovery is not contingent on another relief package, noting that the United States is in a “self-sustaining, strong v-shaped recovery,” (No it isn’t you fucktard) adding that the “battle is not over yet. As long as businesses keep open and stay open, we’re in much better than we were, although we got a lot of work to do,” (Yes, we have, you fucktard.) So, according to this fucktard, everything is great. And if you believe anything, he says... You’re a douchenozzle.
Every time he lies... He shrinks...
Did you see that The Register tells us that... “Top five billionaires find that global pandemics are good for business – And their wallets.” As the US death toll passes 204,167 today. The top five billionaires – Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Warren Buffett, and Larry Ellison – saw their wealth grow by a total of $101.7bn, or 26 per cent over the same spring period. That's roughly the GDP of Puerto Rico. Bezos may be leader of the pack in terms of absolute wealth, and has seen his personal wealth swell by $43bn or 39 per cent to $156.8bn between 18 March and 17 June 2020, but the tech billionaire who saw the largest relative increase was Mark Zuckerberg, whose wealth grew from $54.7bn in March to $86.8bn in June, a climb of nearly 59 per cent. ZuckerNozzle has a mind-bending simple business plan... Facebook delivers eyeballs to advertisers. Who cares if the content is created by robots, fascists or Russians, keep those dollars rolling in. What a fucktard.
Hey... This shit doesn’t come cheap!
