AdScam/The Horror!

Ivanka to the rescue.

Did you see that Der Trumpf’s health chief, Seema Verma, who is strongly opposed to Medicare for all, doesn’t mind asking taxpayers to reimburse her $50K for the luggage she lost over three days on a work trip? According to Politico, Verma filed the claim on 28 August 2018 after having her luggage stolen while giving a speech in San Francisco. Her expenses included 20 pieces of jewelry, which sounds reasonable for a three day-work trip – if you are Snoop Dogg. Most of the losses were Ivanka Trump designs (No surprise there.) Which sounded somewhat tawdry, and were no doubt made in China.

Made by 12 year olds.

Everything’s fine in Finland!

Finland is a great place. I’ve been a couple of times, and it is beautiful. As the New York Times pointed out on Sunday, the people of Finland pay taxes that would scare the shit out of “Trumpistas.” However, in return they enjoy the highest standard of living and quality of life of any Western country. Now there’s an even better reason to move there… 34-Year-old Sanna Marin has just become Prime Minister. What's more Marin, who was tapped Sunday by Finland's ruling Social Democratic Party, will head a five-party, center-left coalition. All of her four coalition partners are led by women — and three of them are in their early 30s. Obviously, Fox News is convinced they’re all closet Communists, and Trump will claim he’s had them all… Even though he’s never met them.

She gets my vote!

It’s a dog’s life!

Most sport is corrupt and simply about money, but the NFL takes the cake. Did you see that more than 200,000 people have signed a petition demanding that Michael Vick be removed as an honorary Pro Bowl Captain. Obviously he would be better suited as an honorary Captain of the World Dog Fighting Championships. It’s pathetic when you consider that after spending 18 months in Federal prison, in 2009, Vick returned to the NFL and played for the Philadelphia Eagles, New York Jets and Pittsburgh Steelers before retiring in 2017. He then signed with Fox Sports as an analyst. No surprise there. He’s perfect for Fox. In the meantime, Colin Kaepernick has been ostracized for taking a knee to protest police brutality.

It was a present from Michael. Went great with fries.

Art goes bananas!

Anyone with half a brain knows that a lot of the shit currently posing as art, is… Nothing more than shit… The latest example… A banana duct taped to the wall of an art gallery has reportedly sold for a whopping $120,000. Three editions of the banana-tape-to-the-wall art piece were up for sale, two of which have already been sold, according to CBS News. The publication noted that the last one is expected to go for $150,000. The artist’s Instagram account explains that the piece’s objective is to offer “insight into how we assign worth and what kind of objects we value” and that he had a habit of taping bananas to his hotel room walls when he traveled in an effort to “find inspiration.” So what happens when the banana you just coughed up $120.000 for starts to rot, go bad and stink? Not to worry. A performance artist at the gallery has the answer. He just ate the fucking thing.

Ya think maybe it’s a Dole scam?

Ridden, not stirred!

So, are you fed up of hearing about the Peloton TV spot yet? You know, the one that pissed a lot of people off ‘cos “Hubby” was fat shaming his already rail-thin wife into riding her tiny arse off for hours every day. Well, it ain’t over yet. Now there’s a video by Actor Ryan Reynolds, taking the piss out of the indoor bike start-up’s spot. The video, a commercial for his Aviation Gin brand, opens with the woman now dubbed "the Peloton woman" staring blankly at the camera while out with two girlfriends before they toast to "new beginnings." after one of her friends assures her that "you're safe here." They then proceed to get “arseholed.” Meaning they will have to get back on the Peloton to work off all the alcohol generated pounds. Life’s a bitch.

She can join my “Peloton.”

You can’t make this shit up!

Perhaps as part of his pursuit of a Nobel Prize, Der Trumpf has taken on the problem of toilets flushing too regularly. On Friday during a roundtable with small business leaders about deregulatory actions. The President claimed Americans are flushing their toilets "10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once" and argued that they are having difficulty with washing their hands in what appeared to be a tangent about low-flow sinks and toilets. "We have a situation where we're looking very strongly at sinks and showers and other elements of bathrooms where you turn the faucet on -- and in areas where there's tremendous amounts of water, where the water rushes out to sea because you could never handle it, and you don't get any water. You turn on the faucet and you don't get any water. They take a shower and water comes dripping out. Just dripping out, very quietly dripping out," the President continued, lowering his voice as he spoke about the drips. "People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once." Obviously, this does not apply to the gold shitters in Trump Tower.

Does it have solid gold Charmin?

There’s something “Immaculate” about this!

You have to wonder how the amusing Christmas TV spot for Norway’s Postal Service would go down here in America. It suggests that Jesus was possibly the “love child” of Mary and her local good-looking blonde mail man. She does look pretty hot and the resulting baby sports golden locks. Doofus Joseph doesn’t seem able to put two and two together. All the Born Agains here in the US would go apeshit… But, it’s well known, they have no sense of humor.

Never forget… Brian was blonde.

Shaken and very stirring!

On my post about the forthcoming Bond movie… Ace Canadian AdScamer “Ray – Eh” asks the question… “Is this the best ad for Aston Martin you’ve ever seen?” And provides a link… Actually, I’ve had this beauty in my collection of good ad shit for years. Not quite sure if it’s a real ad, or an “homage.” Either way, it’s fucking good. Thanks Ray!

It's not Kate, but it’s Kreamy.

Sweat for big bucks!

I had to laugh when I read the piece in today’s New York Times about Uber Poseurs gym, Equinox, and the way it treats its staff. Apparently a less glamorous side of Equinox is shown in the gym’s staff break room: a spindly, wire-framed bunk bed, blocked from view by a shower curtain, where exhausted personal trainers nap between sessions, using towels to fortify mattress pads so thin that some trainers joked they must have been salvaged from a prison. When I lived in the Village, I used to work out at the local “Y.” Then someone gave me a one-day pass to their place on Greenwich Avenue. Everyone in there was dressed in black, and most of the people working out had a least two trainers, at God knows how much an hour. Wearing my ragged, sweat caked gear, I  quickly realized I didn’t belong… But, that’s not the first time I’ve felt that.

However… There is a great British fish and chip shop just across the street.

The Lords are losers!

My five WPP shares certainly aren't making me rich, but compared to M&C Saatchi shares, they are doing bloody well. Their Lordships, Charlie and Maurice, watched their companies share price drop 42% yesterday, as they forecast losses of 27% compared to last year. The first sign that all might not be well at the floundering big dumb agency came in August when the firm absorbed a one-off charge of £6.4m relating to "irregular accounting". Isn't that legalese for Fraud? Unfortunately, this time around there's no Maggie Thatcher to bail them out. Time to flog some "Art" Charlie?

This smelly object is worth $10 million..

This unmade bed is worth $5 million!!!