AdScam/The Horror!

Who has the secret of Nun's Piss?

You have to laugh at the news that the legal battle between Anheuser-Busch InBev and MillerCoors continues to grind on. In a new court filing, AB InBev alleges that its competitor attempted to obtain trade secrets, including details on how Bud Light and Michelob Ultra are made, through illegal means.  AB InBev charges that former employees now working at MillerCoors sought confidential information from former AB InBev colleagues, including about technical brewing procedures that extend beyond basic ingredients. Holy shit... Does this mean that the nuns formally "closeted" at AB InBev have been tempted away to produce MillerCoors nuns piss? You don't need a recipe for that... Just some nuns.

Fag break at the brewery!

Trump Diplomacy - The Triple Down!

You have to wonder if there is some incredibly Machiavellian shit going through Der GropenFuehrer's brain (To homage Terry Southern... It's full of snakes and bent wire coat hangers) to announce that next year's G7 Summit will be held at the Trump National in Doral Florida. Is this to distract attention from impeachment, Ukraine, Syria? Or is he simple as crazy as a shit house rat? Wanna bet he ain't finished yet... My money's on him inviting currently dis-invited Putin.

Does he know "Trump" means "Fart" in Britain?

Trump Diplomacy - The Ultimate Oxymoron!

In an Op-Ed piece in yesterday's New York Times, "The Trump Guide to Diplomacy," it would appear that Peter Navarro, in common with most douchenozzles currently working in the White House, seems to confuse government service with unabashed Trump sycophancy. He refers to those negotiating with the Universal Postal Union as "Team Trump" rather than US government representatives. He warns China not to bully countries it has lent large amounts of money to. This obviously does not apply to the Ukraine. Finally he states... "These five lessons represent a new kind of Trumpian diplomacy that achieves results while advancing American interests." If only fixing the rest of our current diplomatic crises Trump has caused was as simple as mailing a letter.

Trump Diplomacy at Work!

I'll have prawn crackers with that!

You know how the Trumpistas have been going on and on about the dangers of Chinese "Dark Star" Huawei  taking over the world 'cos of its nefarious 5G technology? The company published financials yesterday showing that for the first three quarters of 2019 it had generated ¥610.8bn ($86bn) in revenue, a healthy 24.4 per cent up on the same period last year. Its net profit margin stood at 8.7 per cent. Despite uncertainty surrounding what Google code might be allowed near its smartphones, shipments of the gizmos were also up. 185 million units have been shipped in the first three quarters of 2019, up 26 per cent year-on-year. So much for the dire effects of Trump titting around with sanctions.

Fucked up in the USA.

Dumb gets dumber!

Vying for the dumbest promo idea of the year award, news just out that Google has teamed up with Domino's to deliver their $800 Pixel 4 phones inside Domino's Pizza boxes to so called "Influencers." The idea is that this will demonstrate that you can use the phone hands free, 'cos your hands will be busy shoving slabs of the world's most tasteless pizza in your gob. Hey... A word of advice to "Influencers." Eat the phone. It'll taste better.

Better yet. Treat yourself to an Apple!

Kanye throws a Kaniption!

You know that something really fucking weird is going on when you read that Kanye West... "Blasts Kim Kardashian for dressing too sexy for the Met Gala." I mean c'mon, for years she has claimed that he “He totally picks out all my looks,” she said during a 2015 appearance. “I really do trust his opinion.”  Well, my dear he now thinks you look like tart. Maybe you should start wearing some of his designs... Ya know, the ones that look they came out of a dumpster.

Tres chis... Naaaaah!

Wizened of Oz Jr. Turns to Vice!

James, the lesser evil of the Murdoch boys, has just bought a minority stake in Vice Media. The Financial Times reported that Murdoch, the youngest son of media mogul and Dark Star emperor, Rupert, is seeking to distance himself from the conservative outlets his father controls. In an interview with the New Yorker last month, he said: “The connective tissue of our society is being manipulated to make us fight with each other, making us the worst versions of ourselves.” The magazine suggested he might be talking about his father’s company Fox News. The Wizened of Oz also owns News UK, which publishes UK rags, The Sun and The Times. Can you imagine how fucking rotten the portrait in the old geezer's attic must be?

Vice... Vice... Perfect!

Politics... Bolliticks!

As you know, I love to kick the shit out of the fucktards on Wall Street. Great headline today... "Dow paralyzed by fears that Trump-China trade deal could be fictional." Who the fuck would have thunk that? Sorry to be boring, but as I have posted many times...Wall Street is the place inhabited by douchenozzles who know fuck all about fuck all. Meanwhile, over in the UK, Brexit Bollocks continue. Trump and Boris would make perfect cell mates... Der Trumpf wouldn't need an orange uniform... He's orange enough already.

Benny Hill would be embarrassed!

Filtered through a mountain of bullshit!

So, 72andSunny, New York, have a new campaign for Smirnoff Vodka just breaking. Based on its history over the last hundred and a half years. Titled "Infamous Since 1864." It takes great license with the history of the brand, but that's OK, it's advertising. However, I do have one bone to pick. In one 15 second spot, they claim "The Moscow Mule" was invented in Los Angeles... No it wasn't, it was originally invented in 1941 at the bar of the Chatham Hotel, New York. Later, I was one of the people who re-invented it as "The Smirnoff Mule" in Hartford, Connecticut. I know, 'cos that was when I worked on the Smirnoff account at Benton & Bowles during my Mad Man days.

"It leaves you breathless"... Best ever booze line ever.

Sportsmanship my arse!

As if Britain is in enough shit already with Der Trump's stooge Boris wreaking havoc with his Brexit Bollocks. Now, English football fans are wreaking havoc with their well established reputation for hooliganism... Violence broke out last Friday night between England fans and Czech riot police both before and after England played the Czech Republic in Prague. England lost the match, so no surprise that the louts decided to fuck up Prague's Old Town Square by throwing beer bottles (empty, of course) at the police. Guess what? The police beat the shit out of them before arrests were made. Fucktards.

The Queen is not amused.