That as several mates of mine have observed... There is absolutely nothing of any interest going on in the ad biz. All the ad rags merely feature pictures of no one you’ve ever heard of being promoted to some position with a grandiose title that means fuck all. Yawn... Should I stop writing AdScam? Nah fuck it, I’ll carry on. It gives me pleasure to do a couple of early morning rants as I chug my breakfast beer and open the first pristine packet of fags. So. Why the fuck not???
Will do...
The world’s richest Fucktard, Tesla CEO Elon Musk, tweeted Tuesday night that he was going to buy Manchester United football club, later clarifying that he was joking. stock still rose early Wednesday. United has won a record 20 domestic titles and counts among its former players stars such as David Beckham and Wayne Rooney. And don’t forget the greatest of them all... Georgie Best. But Man U has just delivered one of its worst starts to a season, sitting at the bottom of the English Premier League after losing its first two matches. Old Trafford, is in dire need of refurbishment. And a long-running fan protest of United’s controlling shareholders — the American Glazer family, continues to rumble.
The most naturally gifted footballer ever.
In the “You can’t make this shit up” category Ad Age explores the far-out concept of soulbound tokens, which are basically non-transferrable NFTs that give the holders a superpower in the metaverse … credibility. Shit, is ZuckerNozzle looking into this? One of the co-founders of Ethereum helped come up with SBTs, which could be used by anyone to etch their achievements and characteristics on the blockchain. AdAge tells us that the efficiency of this process could birth a de facto marketplace, where brands and agencies can search publicly listed portfolios for owners of SBTs by the issuer of the token, its content, its rarity and more.” Soul tokens could be the way people and companies prove their authenticity in the metaverse. And they could provide a record of lives, creativity and commerce, forever. Oh yes indeed, another crock of shit!!!
Oh... And send money!!!
Over at MediaPost we are informed that Syracuse-based marketing agency, Mower, is now employee owned. The agency announced last week that Chairman and CEO Eric Mower has transferred 100% ownership of the company to employees via an Employee Stock Ownership Plan (ESOP). However, Mower, who founded the agency in Syracuse in 1968, will remain in his current position as Chairman and CEO. So, will still be running the place after fifty-four fucking years. Talk about a job for life.
It seems like it was yesterday!
As you well know, I love to rant about the idiotic names todays ad agencies subject us to. Remember when JWT said they were no longer an agency, they were now “Cultural Anthropologists”. That didn’t last long, did it? Now there’s news that Omnicom’s Tracy-Locke has introduced a new brand identity centered on the premise that there is no commerce problem creativity cannot solve. As part of the rebranding, the agency is reintroducing a hyphen between the two founders’ names. Wow, that’ll shake things up. We are told that the hyphen symbolizes the “people first” and “compelling commerce” branding proposition and represents what the agency says is its “integrated yet independent approach that fosters a creative work environment where everyone has a voice and seat at the table.” And you get your own personal hyphen. What a load of horse shit!!!
Just asking...
Looks like Republican Fascist Lauren Boebert’s family is as crazy as she is. Law enforcement officials in Garfield County, Colorado, have released audio recordings of 911 calls they received from neighbors of Boebert complaining her kids were speeding on the street, her husband was driving drunk and he drove over their mailbox and was trying to start a fight. The shit came down on Aug 4 and led to a spate of calls requesting deputies respond. One caller complained about Boebert's husband and the GOP lawmaker, telling the dispatcher, "I'm sure he's loaded to the hilt. Do you know who his wife is? Lauren Boebert. She's loaded. They all have guns. He just got chest to chest, face to face, looking to fight." Sounds like a perfect match for Lauren.
Lauren... Locked and loaded.
You have to laugh at the news that Der Trumpf has hired a prominent Atlanta lawyer to represent him in the criminal inquiry into election interference in Georgia. The lawyer, Drew Findling, has represented an array of rap stars including Cardi B, Gucci Mane and Migos, and is known by the hashtag #BillionDollarLawyer. His hiring underscores the seriousness of the investigation — as well as the potential legal jeopardy for the Obergropenfuhrer. However, based on the Orange Blimps track record for stiffing people, I would recommend that he gets his billion dollars up front.
How about a billion Marks?
Further proof that the ad biz is circling the toilet bowl in its mad desire to have fuck all to do with what once used to be a worthwhile way to make a living... We Are Social, yet another barmy name for a business, has just appointed a “Global Head of Cultural Insights.” Her job will entail studies of social behavior in online communities to help clients stay on top of trends and cultural conversations. This will ensure that clients are reaching their audiences in a genuine and effective manner and will help ensure that clients unlock the opportunities the next decade of digital culture brings.” Oh well, that's fucking amazing. Forget about advertising. Let’s get social!!!
Indeed!!!
So, time for another edition of T.G.I.K.M.F.
For your delectation...
Why do members of the Secret Service wear badges and big tags that state quite openly they are members of the Secret Service... Shouldn’t that be kept secret?
I just work here...
