OK... So I had my breakfast beer and decided my next post would be devoted to making AdScamer's happy... And, it's Friday, and you know what that means. Thanks to my good mate Ralf "The Cartoonist" Zeigermann, who has unearthed a trove of great pictures, here's some new Kate stuff you haven't seen before...
Kate relaxing after a ménage a something...
Kate young and brunette...
Kate as Bowie... Unfuckingbelievable!
Yet another insanely fucked up week in an insanely fucked up world is drawing to a close. Der Trumpf now considers himself God and plans to remain President for the next twenty years, although looking at the physical shape he's in, he'll be lucky if he lasts twenty months. Then Melania can cash in and run off with a young stud. Over the pond, Boris has thirty days to sort his shit out before civil war starts in Ireland. Meanwhile, over in Greenland, the Inuit are lining up for concealed carry harpoon permits ready for the day Der Trumpf takes over. Fuck it... Time for a breakfast beer.
Trump arrives in Greenland.
Builds Trump Tower.
Invaded by Inuit from "shithole" Arctic countries.
Builds ice wall paid for by Denmark.
Embezzles Danish money. Spends rest of life in "Ice Prison."
There's always a happy ending on AdScam!
I have posted in the past that since moving here from New York twenty odd years ago and in spite of loving the living here, I am still occasionally less than surprised to realize that this is the state that voted for Der Trumpf by a landslide. Just yesterday, being a fucking prince, I said to a lady in her fifties, who I passed on the street (Yeah, I'm still a Cheeky sod)... "Has anyone ever told you that you look like a younger Judy Dench?" She replied, "Oh thank you... Who is Judy Dench?"
Still hot!!!
Over at MoreAboutAdvertising, my good mate Stephen Foster informs us that the Clio Awards are 60 this year and they’re celebrating with a campaign from BBDO LA featuring a Renaissance-style mural, a film and a website featuring, George Lois, Mary Wells Lawrence, Sir John Hegarty, Wieden+Kennedy etc, etc... In response to which I left this simple, pithy comment... "So, where's Bill Evans?" For those of you unfortunate enough not to have lived through the glorious Mad Man days of yore, Bill, created both the CLIO’s and the EFFIES, realizing that the raging egos of people in the ad biz, could be mercilessly milked to the tune of millions of fucking dollars in entry fees. I mean the CLIO’s have been a fucking joke ever since dear old dead Bill used it to fund his massive Coke and Rent Boy habit. The most memorable award ceremony was in 1991, when people fought each other on stage for the unclaimed statuettes. It’s been going downhill ever since.
Just to prove how fucked up the CLIO's have become... Ace wanker Wil-I-Aint won one in 2013!
No surprise to read this morning that Der Trumpf has cancelled his visit to Denmark, 'cos they won't promise to sell Greenland to him. Yet when the Gropenfhurer confirmed his interest in the Greenland purchase on Sunday, he had suggested his trip to Denmark was not related. Still, that was two days ago, maybe he got a call from Putin yesterday. In the meantime he ripped of AdScam by tweeting the same meme I used on Sunday of the golden Trump International Hotel of Las Vegas photoshopped onto a seaside Greenland town and writing on Twitter, "I promise not to do this to Greenland!" His idiot son tweeted the same thing, thereby providing conclusive proof that it takes a fucktard to sire a douchenozzle!
Greenland, so Trump can live with Santa.
Why haven't I heard about this before? There's a smartphone app called "Snapcrap" that lets you take pictures of shit left on sidewalks by drunks, addicts and homeless people, then report it to the relevant authorities. Obviously, the number one city using it is San Francisco. I haven't been for years, but when I used to freelance there, two things had to be avoided, shit on the sidewalks and Rottweiler's belonging to the above named trio of defecators. These fuckers were trained to attack you if you didn't come up with folding money when panhandled on the once lovely streets of this once lovely city. Coming soon... Shitstagram and Fecesbook.
On the other hand...
News today that the US military is not the primary force anymore in Asia, and it would probably have the shit quickly kicked out of it by the Chinese. This comes from a new report from the United States Study Center at Australia's University of Sydney that claims missiles from China's rapidly improving military could overwhelm US bases in the region in a matter of hours. Wait a minute, the US military is seven times bigger than the next seven nations combined. This includes eleven nuclear aircraft carriers, with two more being built. The rest of the world has one... Yeah... Your tax dollars at work... For the fucking defense industry.
You're in safe "bigly" hands.
Once again the Dow is on the rise because according to CNN... "Investors grew increasingly optimistic about a potential resolution to the trade war and a limit to its economic fallout. Although President Donald Trump has repeatedly fanned the trade war flames, he tweeted Sunday that the United States and China were "talking." He also tried to tamp down recession fears, tweeting that an end of the trade war would help boost the US economy. Oh, OK then... Der Trumpf is talking to China, hasn't he been doing that for months? As I never get tired of saying... No one on Wall Street knows fuck all about fuck all.
OMG... Trump is talking!
So, Super Economist, Larry Kudlow did the rounds of the talk shows yesterday to reassure us that we were living in a booming economic paradise brought to us by the Orange Gropenfuehrer, and it would last forever. “I don’t see a recession at all,” Kudlow said on “Fox News Sunday.” On NBC’s “Meet the Press,” he urged Americans, “Let’s not be afraid of optimism.” Based on his track record, I should pack up and move to Greenland. Before he kicked his multi-thousand dollar a week Peruvian Marching Powder habit, here's what he said in the National Review, December 7th, 2007... "There’s no recession coming. The pessimistas were wrong. It’s not going to happen. At a bare minimum, we are looking at Goldilocks 2.0. (And that’s a minimum). Goldilocks is alive and well. The Bush boom is alive and well. It’s finishing up its sixth consecutive year with more to come. Yes, it’s still the greatest story never told." Within days we were in the Great Recession. Over the years he has been more consistently wrong about his predictions than anyone... Except Der Trump. What a perfect match.
Enjoying Bigly Greatness Again!
Super Nozzle, Elon Musk, is up to his old tricks again. This time resurrecting his barmy idea about dropping nuclear bombs all over Mars to improve the atmosphere, so that we can go there and bask in the balmy temperatures whilst building "Musk-Opolis." He's even got T-Shirts you can wear whilst you are doing it. Maybe he could get Der Trumpf to test his atomic climate idea on Greenland first.
First Greenland, then Mars.
Like the Model T... You have a choice of one color... Black!
