AdScam/The Horror!

Spring is sprung!

Yeah, today is the first day of Spring. By now, ardent followers of AdScam (all two of you) will have noticed that I am posting less and less about the ad biz... Why? 'Cos there's nothing to post about. The ad biz is no longer about advertising, it's about data, social, experiential,  programmatic, engagement, curation and whatever is the current "mot du jour" being bandied about at thousand dollar a day Wankfest conferences. I laugh when AdAge and AdWeek ask me to turn my ad blocker off. Guys' your ads are a disgrace. Of all on-line periodicals yours should have ball busting ads. They are not... They are simply s fucking disgrace. Will someone wake me up when some real advertising happens. If ever!

Someone cleverer than me once said...

What's a MySpace?

My good mate Ralf "The Cartoonist" Ziegermann points us in the direction of the news that MySpace (Yes, it's still around) just owned up to the fact that they have lost all the music its users uploaded between 2003 and 2015. As Boingboing.net points out, someday, this will happen to Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, and all the other wanky platforms you have posted pictures of what you ate for breakfast on. Don't trust the platforms to archive your data. 

Aaaaw... All that great music... Gone forever.

Brexit Explained!

Because I am from Britain, American friends ask me to explain what Brexit is all about. I tell them I have no idea. Just as I do when British friends ask me what Der Trumpf is all about. Now I have read the perfect explanation... France’s minister for European affairs, Nathalie Loiseau, says she has named her cat “Brexit” on account of its indecisive nature. “He wakes me up every morning meowing to death because he wants to go out, and then when I open the door he stays put, undecided, and then glares at me when I put him out,” Ms Loiseau said. So, there you go... Brexit is a cat. Trump is a...

There's nowt sa queer as folk.

 

Donny for mayor... Whaaa!

We are informed on MediaPost that Donny Deutsh is considering running for Mayor of New York City. As I commented on the article... "This is a joke... Right? April Fool's Day isn't for a couple of weeks." “I’m a guy from the streets,” Deutsch told “Morning Joe” co-anchor Willie Geist on MSNBC, adding: “It’s a year away, but it’s something I’ve toyed with. I would love it.” Luckily for Donny, the streets were paved with gold when his dad bequeathed him his well established agency, which he later sold to Interpublic for $265 million. Wonder if he will be as successful at "Mayoring" as he has been at television... In April 2013, Deutsch's prime-time CNN talk show (Get to) The Point was cancelled after just one week after the Nielsen Company said the show attracted just 268,000 viewers. In 2015, the USA Network announced a new television show with Deutsch called simply Donny!, a comedy with Deutsch playing a fictional version of himself. In August, 2016 USA announced the series would not be renewed for a second season. Time for some "Blow." Hey Donny?

Donny on the street.

Finally... The stock market explained!

I have never understood the stock market. Every so often we get proof that even the stock market doesn't understand the stock market. That's when the shit hits the fan and idiots like Larry Kudlow tell you it's a minor blip and everything will soon be back to normal. Which is why I laughed over my breakfast beer when I read that when Lyft does its IPO, it will be valued at 23 billion fucking dollars. This for a company that lost 911 million fucking dollars last year. But, Uber can top that, when they go public they expect to be valued at 120 billion fucking dollars. Mind you, before a tax break, they lost 1.2 billion fucking dollars.

And never forget "Crazy Cramer."

Finally... Brexit explained!

When friends in Britain ask me what the fuck is going on here in the US with Trumpomania, I come back with, so, what the fuck is going on in the UK with Brexit. I've been trying to follow this three year saga and am nowhere near an explanation... Then on Sunday, I discovered the answer... The Guardian tells us that the Dutch Prime Minister, Mark Rutte, explains it this way... Theresa May is like the knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail who loses his arms and legs in a duel and calls it a draw. Well, that certainly makes more sense than Trumpomania.

Stand up you medieval fucker.

Blarney Bullshit!

In celebration of fake holiday "St Patrick's Day," MediaPost tells us that Bud Light is attempting to give beer drinkers a "light alternative" so they can still feel "authentically Irish, without having to do anything crazy like drink stout," says Stacey Mikula, senior brand director, Bud Light Innovation. The limited-edition bottle, developed by FCB/RED, the retail division of FCB Chicago, features accurately translated Gaelic writing in place of the classic Bud Light banner, Celtic knots steeped in traditional Irish folklore and the original three-leafed shamrock instead of the four-leaf clover that’s so common today. The bottle's color is inspired by the hue of the grass in the Killarney Hills. The beer, however, still tastes the same. As I commented on the article... You mean like Nun's piss?

Why do you think I only drink wine?

It's the rich wot gets richer!

Yeah... The Poisoned Dwarf will trouser another three million dollars worth of WPP stock, even though he is in direct competition with them through his new holding company, S4 Capitol. WPP has certainly been good to Sir Martin, even though during his tenure, he has faced numerous shareholder revolts over what many saw as excessive rewards. In 2017 more than one in five shareholders voted against his £48m pay package, the seventh year in a row that more than 20% of investors failed to endorse his pay. Particularly as his nocturnal visits to Shepherds Market were going on the company tab. And he still owns 1.4% of WPP shares worth about two hundred and fifty million fucking dollars

I think I need a bigger wheelbarrow.

The best day of the week!

My good New York mate, Ivan "The Count"  Horvath, has sent me a new treasure trove of Kate Moss pictures from a site titled... Well, it is Thursday after all. I guess this means that whoever hosts the site posts pictures of Kate every Thursday. Listen you fucker, I've been doing Kate Fridays since before you were born. Plus, I've actually shagged her. Well not actually, but I'm not dead yet.

Fuck Thursday. I'm on Friday.

God saves Facebook!

If you ever needed proof that there is a God, he rose to the occasion yesterday when he realized that ZuckerNozzle had inadvertently unplugged the Facebook server in his basement, thereby denying billions of cretins the ability to post pictures of what they had for breakfast that day. So, God took a few hours out of his daily routine, helping Ben Carson with the odd lobotomy, rushed over to ZuckerNozzle's palace, found the errant plug under a mountain of hundred dollar bills and reattached it. Thousands of cat videos lived to fight another day.

 

You have been warned.