AdScam/The Horror!

Sailing the seas of stupidity.

As a further demonstration of how fucked up the ad biz has become, news today that VMLY&R retained agency of record duties for the U.S. Navy, winning its second-consecutive five-year contract supporting the Navy's recruitment efforts. Most US Service accounts, re-up with little fuss, but they are required to undergo a review after several years, with the odds heavily stacked for the incumbent. In spite of this, Adweek tells us that the current review featured participation from 10 respondents, which included consultancies and holding companies IPG, Omnicom and Publicis. They obviously spent big bucks on this futile endeavor. But hey... It’s only money. They can always lay off a few hundred employees.  

I would have done it for a barrel of rum...

Favre fucks up...

Most American football players are as dumb as a bag of rocks. NFL “Legend,” Brett Favre proved it in spades yesterday when he announced on his podcast “Bolling with Favre,” that murdering cop, Derek Chauvin, didn’t mean to kill George Floyd when he kept his knee on his throat for nearly ten minutes until he died. Doesn’t this multi-millionaire have a team of advisors who should have told him to keep his fucking mouth shut, if he knew what was good for him?

When I grow up, I don’t want to be as dumb as Brett.

The King of shirkers...

There’s a funny piece over at “TheGuardian,” about a hospital employee in Italy who skipped work for 15 years whilst trousering about $700,000 over that whole time. Apparently, police investigations revealed just how rampant absenteeism was across the public sector. In one investigation, police used secret surveillance cameras to ensnare 35 workers at San Remo’s town hall who had been cheating the time management system for at least two years. The wives of two of the employees were caught using their husband’s staff cards to clock on for them, while other staff members clocked on before going canoeing, shopping or out with friends. In another case, a police officer who lived in the same building he worked in was filmed clocking on in his underwear before going back to bed.

At least this one kept his pants on...

More Trump Titillation...

In the “You can’t make this shit up” category, there’s a hilarious piece over at “The daily beast.” which details how... Donald Trump spent four years making nearly everyone on Earth dread each and every news push alert that popped up on their phones. But did you ever stop to think that it was very hard on him, too? Obviously not, but the former president took to Fox News on Monday night to complain about how difficult he found being president, although he did say that he misses being able to wield his powers to help all of us out. Asked by Ace-Wanker, Sean Hannity, what he misses about being in power, Trump said: “I miss the most, helping people... That’s why I did it. Look, this has been very traumatic. I had a great life, great company, great business, no problems and now all I do is, people go after you. It’s vicious, it’s horrible, but you know what? I loved doing it, because I helped people. And I’ve helped them more than any president.” Trump went on to warn that he’s taking the prospect of standing again in 2024 “very seriously, beyond seriously.” No, you can’t make this shit up...

His great businesses...

Dipshit gets his just deserts

You have to laugh at the news that ace wanker, and so-called singer, Fascist Ted Nugent, has fallen badly sick with COVID-19. This after a year of spouting shit about the virus being a hoax, you should not get vaccinated against it, and only pussies wear masks. Now he tells us that for the last ten days, he thought he was dying. Hey good speed with that. Is it Schadenfreude or Karma? Either way, serves the fucktard right.

Douchenozzle...

Be prepared...

You’ve probably read by now that the Duke of Edinburgh’s coffin at his funeral on Saturday, was carried atop a specially modified Land Rover. What I didn’t know was that the vehicle was modified over a period of 16 years under the supervision of Prince Philip himself, who made multiple visits to the factory in Solihull. He also insisted that it be painted a dark bronze green, the color used for military Land Rovers. You have to admit, the old bugger certainly planned ahead.

Some “Special” Pipers Attended...

More Little Dumb Holding Company news.

MDC Partners, the LDHC that desperately wants to be a BDHC, is the AdScam gift that never stops giving. News today that they are giving “bigly” signing-on bonuses to people dumb enough to sign on. The bonuses are in the form of stock grants. An example is the one going to Dierdre McGlashan who joined the company in February to serve as Chief Media Officer. The company gave her a restricted grant of 100,000 shares, which will vest in three years, when, with lotsa luck and a fucking miracle, the stock price will be significantly higher than the current $3.76. Hey Deirdre, I wouldn’t bet on it.

Am I flogging a dead MDC?

Will it ever stop? Of course not!

With the latest mass shooting in Kenosha leaving three dead and two badly wounded, you will be thrilled to hear that the 19 year old maniac that killed multiple victims at the FedEx depot in Indianapolis on Friday, used two automatic rifles that he bought legally, in spite of having been investigated by the FBI and having his shotgun confiscated. His mother told the Feds that he wanted to “commit suicide by cop.” Hey, at least the MAGA “Morans” will ensure that no one infringes on your God given second amendment rights. Boy, is this country fucked, or what?

Welcome to MAGA Land...

Ain’t religion great?

Especially if you are a member of the rapacious clergy. News just out that a Washington D. C. pastor used $3.5 million in fraudulent PPP loans to buy all kinds of shit for himself. Rudolph Brooks Jr. of the Kingdom Tabernacle, allegedly funneled the federal cash to 11 of his own personal bank accounts, using it to buy meals at restaurants, groceries, musical instruments from the site Zzzounds.com, and a 2018 Tesla Model 3 for $60,000 in July 2020. He also made a $10,000 deposit on a home and paid down his own credit card bills and loan obligations with the money. Yeah verily, God is good.

Enjoy the pokie...

Yes... It’s TGIKMF.

It’s Friday, so it’s time for Kate... Enjoy...

Time for my breakfast beer... Cheers.