AdScam/The Horror!

Doo Doo Dejavue!

With the news that McDonald's has awarded its account to Wieden & Kennedy  after dumping DDB's so called bespoke agency "We Are Unlimited," which was developed at the request of a newly arrived CMO specifically to service only McDonalds less than three years ago  I am reminded of something I wrote a while back...

Back in 1962, before most of you were born, because of the persuasive powers of Bill Bernbach, the CEO of Avis's advertising agency, Doyle Dane Bernbach, the car rental agency was persuaded that rather than boast about its wonderful services, it would simply admit that... "When you are number two... You try harder. Or else" A claim that rang true with its audience, reversing the company's fortunes, helping it to go from losing $3.2 million to turning a profit of $1.3 million for the first time in 13 years. The campaign continued  and proved to be phenomenally successful for more than fifty years, until a new CMO joined Avis and killed it, replacing it with "It's Your Space." The new CMO, Ms. Haas lasted less than two years. So, the moral of the story is... Kill the CMO's!

You can judge a CMO by the size of his Power Point.

Rudy runs away... Again!

Funny piece in the New York Times about Giuliani's divorce from his third wife and the squabbles taking place about how to split up the filthy lucre. Here's my favorite bit... In caustic legal proceedings this summer, the separated couple has battled over things as prosaic as her kitchen renovations and as rarefied as his splurges — $7,131 on fountain pens and another $12,012 on cigars. No wonder he's Der Trumpf's "Personal" lawyer.

I want my fountain pens!

Welcome to the immoral compass!

In the "You can't make this shit up" category, news out today that during a fund raiser for rich cats in Jackson Hole last august, Ivanka told the donors that she "Got her moral compass from her father!" The year before, she told another audience: “My father taught my siblings and me the importance of positive values and a strong ethical compass.” This is fucking ridiculous.

Moral my arse!

WeWork isn't Working.!

WeWork's forthcoming IPO continues to circle the toilet bowl as launch date approaches. The office space rental company was valued at $47 billion just a few months ago, it's now at $15 billion... Yes, fucking billion, for a company that ranks alongside Uber and Lyft in the "We will never make a profit" stakes. Now the company is putting the brakes on co-founders Adam and Rebekah Neumann so they can't fuck up the biz any more. Hey guys... It's too fucking late.

I'm still working!!!

Tucker Titillates Trump!

Yesterday, Ace Fucktard, Tucker Carlson celebrated the firing of John Bolton, calling him a "Man of the left" whose exit should be celebrated by young service members. "Don't let the mustache fool you" said Carlson, accusing Bolton of promoting Obama loyalists within the National Security Council. What the fuck does Bolton's moustache have to do with anything? We are now down to facial hair slurs in the Trump world. You can't make this shit up, or can you? Yeah... Fox News does, every day.

There are good mustaches...

And bad mustaches!

Advertising... Snore...

As you may have noticed, I am posting less and less about advertising and more and more about politics... Why? Simple. Politics today is totally fucking insane, providing lots of ludicrous shit I can take the piss out of. Advertising has degenerated into a data driven, social media miasma of mediocrity that is boring as shit and not worth reading about. When something of interest pops up, I'll post about it. Now... It's time for my breakfast beer.

Then again... Welcome back Hitler Wednesdays.

Hannity for Secretary of State?

Among all the news coverage of John Bolton's firing, this statement in the New York Times really caught my eye... "Eventually, Mr. Trump split with Mr. Bolton and began consulting with outsiders like the Fox News personality Tucker Carlson." I guess this means we can eventually look forward to the replacement of Mike Pompeo as Secretary of State with Sean Hannity. Boy, is this country fucked, or what?

My sources are infallible... Oh, Interplanetary!

 

Uber is uber fucked!

Didya see that yesterday Uber laid off 265 engineers and 170 members of its product team because it is a successful company based on sound financials that is not badly in need of a drastic overhaul. Ha, yeah fucking yeah. Incidentally, It made this announcement in the midst of Apple’s iPhone 11 keynote event. I loved this comment on the news... “Hey there, we’re your overly compensated management team. We fucked up everything we could and don’t really know how to fix any of this so we’re firing all you dumbasses and hiring a whole new squad of dumbasses. Btw, we’re all getting raises.” Uber is fucked... Yes, definitely fucked.

Meantime, Uber CEO Dara Whatsit prefers a bike.

Bolton Bolts!

Well actually, he was booted. That's Der Trumps FOURTH National Security Advisor in two and a half years. Anyone who works for Der Trumpf has to be insane... Oh yeah, Bolton is insane. He can now return to his career on the Simpsons.

Or, there's always Fox News for Trump rejects.

The rich continue to get the gravy and enjoy it longer than the unwashed masses!

You will be shocked... Shocked I say, to read that a new study just out states that "The secret to living longer is to be rich!" Whodathunk that? Apparently, the top 400 richest Americans have more wealth than the 150 million Americans in the bottom 60% of the country’s wealth distribution, and will live longer than Methuselah, according to a January working paper from University of California at Berkeley economist Gabriel Zucman. Thank God I'm filthy rich and can afford to keep the portrait in the attic cranking away. Isn't capitalism great?

Stay shocked!