A well intentioned rant about the current state of Advertising, with particular emphasis on Big Dumb Agencies (BDA's) Because, no matter how bad you think it is, it's actually a great deal worse!
"Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill pail." George Orwell.
Arthur Sadoun thought he was about to become the CEO of Publicis... Then yesterday, Maurice "Le Patron" Lévy, the outgoing chairman and CEO of Publicis Groupe, said he is so keen to stay involved in the company that he has offered to shine the shoes of the management board. "I'm not totally retiring," he told analysts at his final earnings presentation in Paris this morning. "I'm not even semi-retiring." Arthur... You are fucked. You'll enjoy shiny shoes, but the old geezer will drive you crazy.
As loyal AdScamer's are aware, I have never failed to take the piss out of Gwyneth Paltrow's lame site... Goop... The one where you can buy colonic turnip juice shit to flush out your naughtiest bits. Now the company is announcing its first wellness summit, In Goop Health, which will be held in Los Angeles in June. Tickets start at $500, and speakers include Paltrow, Cameron Diaz, Tory Burch, Lena Dunham, Jenni Konner and Nicole Richie. Ha... Wanker Palooka... Sign me up!
Didyasee that Der Trumpf hosted three of his biggest supporters and members of his "brains trust" to the White house yesterday? Yes, Sarah Palin, Kid Rock and Ted Nugent, spent time with POTUS offering him advice on how to solve the world's problems and bring to the US extra heaps of Godliness in a super Bigly way. Yeah, OK, we are well and truly fucked. I'm going to get pissed!
Do they have any idea what's on the wall behind them?
Here in America politicians never stop running for office. This means they never stop raising cash to pay for their re-election. I once read that if elected to the US Senate, then every month for the next six years, they have to raise $250,000. Doesn't leave much time to do the shit you were elected to do, does it? So, I was not surprised to read that Der Trumpf's re-election campaign was incorporated the day he took the oath of office. In the first three months of the year it raised $7.1 million. Fuck, that'll pay for a few golden chandeliers at Mar- El - Wanko.
I'm sorry, but reading about Facebook's new VR app, Facebook Spaces, sends chills up my spine. The king of social networks is evolving from a place to catch up with friends and family to a place to virtually hang out with them with Tuesday’s beta launch of virtual reality application Facebook Spaces for Oculus Rift and Oculus Touch. This means you never actually meet your friends, you can just have your avatar fuck them in the arse without actually having to pick up a bar tab. Would someone take ZuckerNozzle behind the bicycle shed and blow his fucking brains out?
Over at MoreAboutAdvertising, there's a piece "Sorrell gets the grumps as UK gears for another Brexit bout." His Gnomeship thinks that Theresa "I Wanna be Maggie" May's call for a snap election in June is a dumb idea. But what really gets him pissed off is a proposed plan to cap executive salaries. This from a wanker who trousered a mere $65 million this year, down from $100 million last year. Never forget, Belgravia homes and Gramercy Park love nests do not come cheap. The flower bill alone must be fucking astronomical.
Why am I not surprised to read that WPP, the Poisoned Dwarf's Evil Empire, has been the most acquisitive Holding Company in the first quarter? Since its founding in 1971as a manufacturer of wire shopping baskets, WPP enjoyed a relatively quiet life, then His Gnomeship bought it in 1985. His first acquisition was a company that made teapots, the factory burned down a year later. Sorrell used the insurance money to buy JWT... OK, I made that up, but you never know!!! Since then, WPP has bought a gazillion companies, the majority of which no longer exist. But the original WPP is still making wire shopping baskets. No wonder Sorrell pulls down a hundred million fucking dollars a year!
Maggie Thatcher "Wannabe" Theresa May, has said she wants to hold a snap general election on 8 June, despite repeatedly claiming that she was against the idea of an early vote. (Smells of Trumpism to me.) In a surprise statement outside Downing Street on Tuesday morning, the UK prime minister claimed that opposition parties were jeopardizing her government’s preparations for Brexit. Well, fuck me, you don't want the opposition actually opposing your shit do you? Ever get the impression that ALL politicos are snot gobbling douchenozzles?