A well intentioned rant about the current state of Advertising, with particular emphasis on Big Dumb Agencies (BDA's) Because, no matter how bad you think it is, it's actually a great deal worse!
"Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill pail." George Orwell.
Yes, once again we shall suffer through another tedious St Patrick's Day. Which means painting Fifth Avenues center strip green, wearing green ties, drinking green beer, and eating corned beef and cabbage. Numerous St Paddy's Day sales with tempt us with discounted shit we could happily live without until next week's Godzilla Day sale. Funy thing is, no one in Ireland gives a shit!
Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, quite possibly the world's shittiest food, continues its tradition of producing some of the world's shittiest commercials. It only seems like yesterday that Wieden & Kennedy inflicted the "Lusty Smithy" on us. Now the “Make It Right” campaign, from Crispin Porter + Bogusky, features ads showing parents messing up, but then redeeming themselves by making their kids Kraft Mac & Cheese. Yeah, fucking right. Love is a bowl of gooey shit. I wouldn't feed it to the kerchief wearing dogs that populate CP+B's trendy offices.
Even though FCB is doing a very worthy effort to resurrect itself, thanks to the efforts of new Global CEO, Carter Murray, pusillanimous shit continues to pour out of FCB, Chicago. Check out "Margarita Moments." A concoction Agency Spy describes as a "Crime Against Humanity." The only thing that demonstrates ad fuckers will do worse than this was the "Shit my Pants," campaign, also from FCB, Chicago. Carter... Clean House... You heard it here first!
C'mon Carter... Invite George and I over for a drink!
Now we know that the reason Marissa "Purple Knickers" Mayer fucked up "bigly" in her attempt to bring back Yahoo from the grave, had fuck all to do with her multi-million dollar Christmas parties, and the many month's she spent re-designing the companies wanky logo... It was . 'cos the Ruskies hacked the shit out of Yahoo. Thereby proving, I have no fucking idea what, apart from the fact that she walks with trillions. God bless Putty, Putty.
Lenin, Stalin, Putin, Trump, whatever, made me do it!
Adobe does great ads. Why? Because they capture perfectly how fucked up everything in the ad biz is becoming. And the casting is constantly perfect. The latest for Adobe Creative Cloud "Keep up with hovering Art Directors" is fucking sensational. Obviously it is taking place in a UK agency with the interplay between a full of shit AD driving a digital guy crazy, capped by the :input" of a lady strategist from New York. Not sure wether this is from Goodby Silverstein or Mcgarrybowen Amsterdam. Whatever, kudos to MoreAboutAdvertising for pointing out this really good work.
Did you see that On Tuesday, Germany's Justice Minister Heiko Maas, laid out a proposed new law that would impose fines of up to $53 million (or, roughly 50 million euros, since the fine would be assessed in Germany) on companies that don’t respond to complaints about hate speech and take down the offending material fast enough. And since this involves social media, some of Silicon Valley's best-known companies are right in Maas’ sights. Still, $53 million is the fucking change behind the cushions on ZuckerNozzle's Barco Lounger!
Did you see that the new CEO of Yahoo will be making more money than Marissa "purple knickers" Mayer, who's net worth is set to increase by about $189 million. (That's even after she voluntarily gave up about $20 million of her annual stock bonus this year. It's also significantly more than Fortune's estimate two months ago of $141 million for Mayer's total payday, thanks to new equity grants and stock price appreciation in the meantime.) Funny thing is that the new guy, Thomas McInerney, will have much less to do that Marissa did. Isn't capitalism great?