In my never ending quest to report all the really important news… I bring you this update on Justin Bieber’s monkey, “Mally.” As you know, he was quarantined in Deutschland when the draggy pants Teen-Fucktard tried to smuggle him in prior to his series of Krout-Concerts. The German monkey kennel hung on to the little fucker (the monkey, not Bieber) for a couple of months; until they decided that Bieber had moved on to other animal pleasures. So “Mally” has now taken up permanent residence at a German wild life park. In the meantime, BieberNozzle owes a shitload of money for the care and protection of his temporary pet. All I can say is that “Mally” is the luckiest fucking monkey alive.
If there is a God of monkeys... Thank you God of monkeys!