And you thought the world would end on December 21st. Well, it would seem you were a few weeks ahead of yourself, ‘cos now it’s official… Apple is experiencing weak demand!!! That’s right, AppleTards are buying less iShit. Apparently, Apple has lost ground in the $200 billion plus smartphone market to South Korean rival Samsung and smaller Chinese rivals Huawei and ZTE. So, Apple has cut orders of parts for the iPhone 5 from its Asian sweatshops. This will allow other Asian sweatshops to make even more cheap shit for consumers prepared to dishonor themselves by not buying genuine iTchotchkes. There’s only one answer. Steve will have to come back!
Shit... Do I have to do everything around here?