AdScam/The Horror!

'cos it's my blog!!!

This has nothing to do with advertising, I just think it's a great picture and I agree wholeheartedly with the sentiment expressed. Enjoy it. Cheers/George

Armstrong voted Texan fucktard of the year!

In case you missed it, yesterday, Lance Armstrong was nominated as Texan of the Year by the Dallas Morning News. No, it isn’t another example of Texas weirdness, ‘cos the award doesn’t have to go to a hero, it can go to a fucktard. And as the paper put it so well… “Now the Armstrong brand will be forever that of a fighter, a survivor and a cunning steely-eyed-liar.” His fall wasn’t pleasant to behold,” the newspaper said in an editorial. “If nothing else, it’s a lesson about the perils of hero worship.” They certainly got that right.

Last years winner!

Oooops!!!

Shit... I almost forget... It's Friday... Don't want a shit load of emails from people really, really pissed that I forgot, you--know-who. So, here's a bonus...

That's your lot!!!

 

 

Silvio “Bunga Bunga” coughs up!

Hey, as a final Friday post… Didya see that Ex Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi has agreed to a $140,000 a day divorce deal with ex-wife Veronica Lario? Proving that truth is stranger than fiction, he first met his second wife, Ms Lario, when she was appearing in a play called “The Magnificent Cuckold.” Apparently, one of the reasons she divorced him was because… “He is a sex addict who needs help.” Well, not much more to be said then. But fuck… That’s a shitload of money!

Could I see your ID, please?

Greed is good!

You know things are getting tough when Apple CEO, Tim Cook, is described as taking a “massive” pay cut when it was revealed yesterday that all he made in 2012 was a lousy $4.17 million! OK, so the year before, he made a staggering $376 million, which would be enough to pay the entire population of China to work at Foxconn for a year churning out iShit before committing suicide. But fuck me, how much money does one person need… Oh yeah, better ask Oracle’s CEO, Larry “I am Ninja” Ellison that. When the world’s sixth richest fucktard was asked that question, he replied… “It isn’t about the money, it’s about keeping score.” He then went off and bought Hawaii.

I would settle for the change behind his cushions!

You can trust me… I’m a politician!

As more juicy details emerge about Fourth Reich, Mormon Senator “make mine a double” Crapo’s, DUI arrest last weekend, apparently when arrested, he admitted to the Fuzz that he had “consumed SEVERAL shots of vodka!” Fuck me, I hope they were Teton Glacier, Idaho Potato Vodka – The license plates here in Idaho say “Famous Potatoes.” Idaho Governor “Butch” Otter, who was DUI’d a few years ago when driving home after winning a “Tight Jeans Contest” in a local hostelry, should appoint him to the Idaho Potato Board, where he could wax eloquently about the enervating quality of our lovely spuds. We certainly grow a unique set of politicians around here. The Governor before “Butch” was notorious for bouncing checks, the Mayor of Boise before the current one went to jail for fraud. Recently, a State Senator was DUI’d while driving a stolen truck across a neighbor’s lawn. He begged for forgiveness and was put on probation, remaining in the Senate, until he was arrested shortly after for sexually assaulting the women working in his office. And let’s not forget Larry “Wide-Stance” Craig. Who is now pulling down the big bucks as a well paid consultant. You just can’t make this shit up!   

His mug shot... And just where the fuck had he been dressed like that on a Saturday night?

TV ads that actually work? Naaah!

There’s been a lot of stupid chat recently about how targeted TV ads are going to revolutionize television advertising by making it possible to avoid sending “Depends” spots to teen viewers in the middle of their fucking vampire sit-coms, or pissing geriatrics off with ads for gang themed “Hoodies” as they drink their cocoa whilst watching their favorite soap. Apart from the fact that this will only work on cable and anyone with half a brain pre-records their programs so they can skip through the commercials… The 800 pound gorilla in the room is that this will allow advertisers to measure the effectiveness of individual ads against their pre-determined audience. All that branding bullshit BDA’s love to throw at clients will be seen for what so much of it really is… Nothing but smoke and fucking mirrors!

Now you can reach any target audience!

You don’t have to be an actual rocknroller to be a rocknroller douchenozzle!

I’m sorry… I know it has fuck all to do with advertising, but I had to laugh when I read that Kate Winslet (who’s films are always worth watching) has married for the third time. OK, nothing funny about that in Tinsel Town… But it’s the name of the husband… NED ROCKNROLL… Yeah, that’s his fucking name. He changed it from Abel Smith… Does that mean she is now MRS. ROCKNROLL? And what if they have kids. The poor fuckers will get the piss taken something rotten at school. And guess what? Ned is the nephew of ace wanker, Richard “Call me SIR or I fire your arse” Branson, and works in the Space-Travel branch of the Virgin Empire. To the Moon Mr. Rocknroll!

The Virgin-Dildo Shuttle has landed!

Facebook’s mobile future goes static!

When, the week before Christmas, Facebook announced it was cancelling its mobile ad network trial, it didn’t seem to raise as many eyebrows as I expected. I mean with all the shit ZuckerNozzle has been making about the glorious “Mobile” future he was looking forward to for Facebook, you have to wonder what the fuck is going on. A Facebook spokes-nozzle put it this way… "We are pausing our mobile ads test off of Facebook. While the results we have seen and the feedback from partners has been positive, our focus is on scaling ads in mobile news feed before ads off of Facebook. We have learned a lot from this test that will be useful in the future." Mmmm, I wonder exactly, just what the fuck that means?

Scale your arse on this Zuckernozzle!

Apple to buy BMW!

In the land of “What the fuck could happen next,” there’s an interesting piece over at marketwatch.com about the possibility that the next big “iThing” from Apple could be an “iCar.” Yes, a fucking car. As the writer points out you can only push the variations on phones and pads so far. And, they are sitting on a cash mountain of over one hundred fucking billion dollars! They could buy BMW for that and still have forty billion in the kitty. Even if it looked as fucking lame as Chrysler’s “PeaPod” Remember Peter Arnell’s shitasmic design that was supposed to launch three years ago? Well, whatever it looked like, you just know the AppleTards would be queuing for fucking days to be the first on the block to drive one.  

Whatever happened to that wanker?