DidYa see the piece in AdAge about Burger King sales being up 4.4% since they fired the Frat/Fart boys at CP+B, and moved the account to “Agency of the Past,” McGarryBowen. How did the douchenozzles at McGarry do it? By spending billions of dollars on celebrities such as Jay Leno, David Bekham, Mary J. Blige and Steven Tyler pretending they actually like grease burgers and soggy fries in a series of really, really bad fucking ads. The fact that these Celebs have pimped dozens of other products for more billions of dollars, and probably wouldn’t be caught dead actually eating that shit, is besides the point. Firstly, the franchisees love moronic stuff like this, ‘cos they have brains the size of a peanut… And secondly, consumers love this shit, ‘cos people who eat at McDonalds also have brains the size of peanuts. See, difficult advertising conundrums are always explained logically here at AdScam… It’s a tough job… But someone has to do it. Breakfast beer time!
George always sorts out my conundrums on Friday!