In his attempt to win back the binge drinking, Woodbine puffing, New of the World readers, the Wizened of Oz launches “The Sun on Sunday,” this coming Sunday. Apparently, this momentous event is being personally led by the evil old fucker himself, and the paper is rumored to be heavier on fashion and football and lighter on the sex and scandal for which the News of the World was notorious. (In Britain, it was referred to as “The News of the Screws!”) It will also feature helpful articles such as “Ten ways to hack into the mobile of the tasty bint with big knockers.” And, “Things to consider before bribing the law.” Alright, I made those up, but what the fuck are you going to do if there’s no tits & arse on page three? As expected, a price war has broken out amongst Britain's Sunday papers, which already give away CD’s, fish & chips, Kit Kat, thongs and fucking Rollers with each issue. And then they complain they’re losing money. Wot a load of old Bollocks!
Page one this coming Sunday!
