It gives me great pleasure to review Bob Hoffman’s new book. “101 Contrarian Ideas About Advertising.” For those of you out there who are not familiar with the world's Second Best Blog on Advertising, I should explain that Bob and I share a vision, which is to explain to everyone that the ad biz is well and truly fucked, and when the old geezers like us are finally gone to wherever it is they still do three martini lunches, you fuckers may as well close the door and turn off the lights. The book is a pisser, a compendium of some of Bob’s better posts on his blog. They are all gems, ‘cos they all sound like me. I’m not saying for a minute that Bob has done one of my famous “Homages.” Shit no… It’s the fact that we must have been separated at birth… We think exactly the same, even down to accusing whoever first thought of putting pineapple on a pizza of being a prime douchenozzle. If you do nothing else, read the chapter titled “The Crisis of Advertising.” A fucking Gem. He talks about BDA’s and BDC’s (I should have licensed those fuckers!) Like me, he points the finger at the conglomeration of the business and the fucktard bean counters running them. Also, like me, he shares a slime snarling, bloody mucus dribbling hatred of people who fuck up the English language with either invented words, such as ideation, and datametrics. Or, even worse, words that have been bastardized by using them to demonstrate the users innate stupidity, these include such gems as resonate, curate, synergism, holistic, etc. He quotes this beauty from a bunch of industry fucktards… “Online media has an abundance of metrics, but none that serve as currency across the ecosystem." For God’s sake, who will fight this creeping menace when Bob and I have departed to join Hal, Howard and David at that big bar in the sky? Please do not attempt to answer this thorny question in less than 140 characters. However, the prime reason this book is a “must-read” is because what he says is so fucking logical and obvious, which in turn means the young fuckers out there nozzling their way through the next social media conversation, friending, tweeting, and communing will think it’s a load of old codswallop from a geriatric fart, who “doesn’t get it.” Sorry guys, you’re missing the point, but it’s even cheaper than my last opus, so why not read it for a laugh? As Bob said about me when he was asked what ad blogs he read… “The only one I read is AdScam, not for the content. But because Parker is funny.” Gee, thanks Bob… I think!
Bob and I in conversation. Bob's the one in drag!