AdScam/The Horror!

I have been de-tweeted!

For some reason, I’ve been banned from Twitter. Yes me, fucking banned from Twitter. Apparently I have broken the pimping rules by Tweeting on sites about Mad Men, giving people obsessed with the TV show, a chance to read “Confessions of a Mad Man,” which is the real fucking thing, and not a poncey, wanky TV version of what the ad biz was like in the sixties. Yeah, smoking, drinking and fucking… With a bit of work thrown in. Anyway, I am banned from fucking Twitter. Yeah, me… The guy who resigned from it last year, ‘cos I thought it was a giant wank. Now I want back in… ‘Cos I’m a fucking AdHo… OK, at least I’m honest… Well, a bit honest. And I’m still a fucking prince!

'Cos I need cheering up!

Boschetto talks turds!

Did you get a chance to see the mealy mouthed statement from “His Holiness Laurence,” about losing the biggest account in the fucking Interpublic universe…

“In looking at the highly professional way we have managed SC Johnson’s business over the years as well as the strong results we have helped the company achieve for many years, it’s difficult to understand this decision, but we obviously have no choice but to accept it. We wish our SCJ colleagues all over the world continued success as they build upon the very strong foundation that our two companies have collectively established. It’s important to keep this situation in perspective. Our organization has grown significantly since our 2006 merger, and we’ve consistently been among the top performing networks for IPG. That growth has allowed us to substantially diversify our revenue base, making SCJ an increasingly smaller part of our global business over the past few years.”

Laurence… Laurence…Go work off your anger in the corner gym… First lesson in running a BDA… Never, ever burn your bridges. Second lesson… Learn something about the ad biz. Third lesson… In your case: Get the fuck out of the ad biz!

Oh… One final note… What the fuck has happened to Jonathan “Idgy” Harries? This guy has disappeared off the face of the earth. Ya think they had him taken care of in one final “rumble?”

OK Larry, yours goes to the Caymans, mine goes to Zurich, and "Idgy" don't need any where he's going!

 

Draft/FCB… thoughts on Armageddon!

There is no question that AdScammers love to hear bad news about “Agency of the Future” Draft/FCB. Yesterday’s first post about SC Johnson telling Hughie, Dewey & Louie they were officially fucked drew 35 comments, and overall traffic for the day was over 8,000 hits, with the peaks occurring through business hours from what looks primarily like non-mobile devices. Which leads me to believe, most of you are reading AdScam from your agency desks… And quite a few of those are Draft/FCB desks. This in spite of past threats of dismissal to any poor fucker still working at Draft/FCB found reading AdScam whilst on the job… Which will become less and less of a problem as this steaming turd of a company implodes. Ergo: Less and less jobs. Word is more than 200 in the US and many more world wide. Sympathies, seriously, to the poor fuckers caught up in this. No doubt, as usual, the fucktards running this fiasco will not be affected. That’s the way this shit works. That’s why most BDA’s suck, particularly the ones in Michael Roth’s crumbling empire.

Draft/FCB, Chicago... Next week!

Why godjobs rules the fucking world!

We all know that Steve jobs is the cleverest fucker in the universe. We also know that he is richer than God… But, did you realize he is richer than the fucking US treasury? Apparently, as the government fucktards dick around, trying to reach an agreement on raising the debt ceiling, the U.S. Treasury's cash balance fell to $74 billion this week. That's less than the $76 billion that Apple now has in cash. Oh, fucking yes. While the Tea Party wankers and the pseudo Democrats engage in some kind of Gigantic circle jerk, Jobs is fucking creaming it. At $362 billion, Apple is the second-largest company in the world by market value. Why the fuck don’t they hand the shitty reigns of government over to GodJobs and let him get on with it. There is no possible way he could fuck it up more than the morons currently in charge. Time for a drink!!!

Ha Ha... Fucking Ha Ha!!!

Draft/FCB FUBAR!

There’s an update on the SC Johnson billings over at AdAge. But, the read of the day has to be the posts from from Mary E Webb and Old Ad Guy on my first post of the morning. Both obviously have lots of first hand experience on both the SC Johnson account and working at FCB, Chicago, before it was merged with Draft and turned into a steaming pile of shit. There is no question that the people who created this nightmare are Howard Draft and Larry Boschetto, but ultimately the buck has to stop at the desk of Michael Roth. Interpublic is a public company which is obviously raping the shit out of its shareholders. The board of directors, who are firmly in Roth’s back pocket, should be fucking fired, after being castrated… But you know what? Fuck all will happen, ‘cos in spite of the so-called wonders of the free market economy, the game is fucking rigged. It always has been, it always will be. The streets of Chicago will run red with the blood of the poor fuckers about to be laid off… Which will obviously not include members of senior management.

Just to cheer you up, 'cos it's Friday!

Is draft/fcb ready to Rumbbblllle… Or crumbbbllle?

Starting to get emails and comments already on the SC Johnson move. Agree with AdScammer Racine that SC Johnson is a very fucked up company. I actually worked on the account in the sixties at B&B, long before most of you were born. The work was shit then, it’s still shit today. Anyway, I only lasted until my first meeting with the clients. They asked me to be removed from their account… Guess why? ‘Cos I had a fucking beard!!! What a bunch of scum sucking douchenozzles. I guess if I’d been a twelve year old girl, they would have made me the fucking account director. Wonder why Draft/FCB didn’t think of that! Oh, and the total global billings loss for the “Agency of the Future.” ONE BILLION fucking dollars!!!

My money's on Rumbbbllle!

the fat lady finally sang… draft/fcb is now officially fucked!

In the least surprising news of the year, late yesterday, to his shock and horror, Interpublic uber-nozzle, Michael “I know insurance” Roth was informed by SC Johnson CEO, Fisk Johnson, that he never wanted to see the butt ugly faces of Howard Draft and Laurence Boschetto ever again. Roth immediately awarded himself yet another huge  fucking performance bonus. If I was newly hired Chicago CD, Todd Tilford, I wouldn’t unpack everything just yet. While Fuhrer Fassnacht should have the mail room send up some boxes, pronto… You just know that Hughie, Dewey & Louie are going to walk away from this fiasco as quickly as possible. The biz will be split between BBDO and Ogilvy… OK, so I was only half right about O&M, but it’s still a big win, which is always better than a big loss… Anyway, the good news is that “Agency of the future” Draft/FCB is well and truly fucked.

See ya at NoBu!

virtual stupidity!

Just as Tim the C* was commenting on the Hot topic du jour: "gamification" which coincidentally rhymes with "Masturbation" and "Flagellation". I was reading a piece on eMarketer (‘cos I am synergistic, hologistic and wanktistic with all this “e” shit) titled, “Marketers are on board with Virtual goods,” which points out that US revenues from virtual goods in social games will grow by 21.3% to $792 million in 2012, from $653 million in 2011. That’s nearly EIGHT HUNDRED MILLION fucking dollars being spent on shit that is worthless. Why not take that money and blow it at the track, or on hookers or drugs. Talk about the decline and fall of the American Empire. Maybe I’ll start “Angry AdScam” and you can buy virtual Hitler's.

No... It's real... Honest!

"Badges... Badges... I don't got to show you no stinkin' badges!"

Apart from specific news sites, I find Google “News” an invaluable way to check on current news updates every so often throughout the day. I also like the fact that I can pull up the news page for other countries, particularly the UK… But what I am finding annoying now are these fucking “News Badges.” What the hell is that all about? On the site, Google says, "The U.S. Edition of Google News now lets you collect private, sharable badges for your favorite topics. The more articles you read on Google News, the more your badges level up: you can reach Bronze, Silver, Gold, Platinum, and finally Ultimate. Keep your badges to yourself, or show them off to your friends." Why the fuck would I want to do that? People will think I am a douchenozzle if I start posting on AdScam that I have just attained a “Titanium News Badge” level. Even worse, you can display your badges on Facebook, Twitter and iNozzle. Thereby proving to your cretinous friends, you too are a fucking cretin. The truly sad thing… Millions of people will do it! 

Stinkin' Google!

heil USA!

My mate Brent Bouchez, points me in the direction of the news that BMW has just signed on for a multi year sponsorship of Team USA in the Olympics…. That’s right… BMW – USA… No wonder Brent is totally pissed… Does anyone else see the fucking disconnect here? In spite of what the Hamptons poseurs and Silicon Valley wankers might think… BMW’s are German, and Team USA is…That’s fucking right, American. Where the fuck is GM and Ford while all this shit is going on? But, as Brent points out in his email to me… It’s obviously all about money. Fuck the Olympic spirit… That died in 1936. Jesse Owens must be spinning in his grave.

What's next... Fucking Panzers?