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My mate “DaBitch” over at Adland… The best fucking ad blog in the universe… Has a post about Alex “I am fucking God” Boguskynozzle. Apparently mysterious posters (See below) are appearing all over Manhattan. No one knows what they are for… Except, off course, the great one himself. Maybe he’s joining up with Glen Becknozzle to bring us all back to God. Don’t worry, in time it will be in the putrescent Ad Trades, ‘cos they haven't had an Alex story in at least two days.
Spot the botox?
Did you see the news that YouTube will now allow advertisers to block out videos they might not like? So no more dogs on skateboards or Paris Hilton blow jobs. What the fuck is wrong with these people? That’s what the Internet is all about. Even AdScam has its share of fucking crazy wankers who post shitty and offensive comments. Good luck to ‘em, I don’t care if they want to come across as douchenozzles, it’s up to them. Apparently, YouTube's latest feature, "target excludes," will be part of the site's Video Targeting Tool, allowing advertisers to exclude videos they don't want polluting their shitasmic product. This supposedly addresses the often criticized aspect of YouTube: You can buy video there, but you never know what you'll get. To which I say… That’s the fucking beauty of it!!!
I like shit like this!
If anyone gives a shit…. Here are a couple of red hot “How to drive up blog traffic” hints… Put Paris Hilton blow job… Or… Draft/FCB in the headline. The page hits go fucking insane. All the sex maniacs think they’ll have a previously undiscovered picture of the world’s dumbest blonde to jerk off to… And every ad person in the world thinks Howard Draft is the world’s dumbest fucking ad person… Closely followed by Boschetto and Harries. Put them both in the headline, and the traffic goes through the fucking roof.
But Julie was the best!!!
The response to my last post has been most gratifying… Which leads me to believe that if we should wish to introduce a league table for the most hated agencies in Christendom, Draft/Draft would take the Titanium award… (Remember their shitasmic Lion fucking lion ad of a few years ago?) Seriously, the thing that upsets me the most… Yeah, me being upset- How could that happen? Is the fucking depths to which this business has descended. It is now being run by clowns, charlatans, and fucktards… And we continue to allow them to get away with it. When is someone in the ad community going to grow a spine and say… Enough, is fucking enough?
Unless it comes to booze!!!
AdScam deep throats tell me that in the aftermath of last weeks Chicago blood bath, Michael Roth, in conjunction with Hughie, Dewey & Louie, have decided that as they have virtually demolished FCB, reducing what was once a great agency to a whimpering cur, they have decided to take it behind the woodshed and shoot the poor fucker. From now on, the “agency of the future” will be known as Draft/Draft. It will be committed to the production of the world’s shittiest advertising, whilst making the principals even fucking richer. Howard is reported to have replaced the picture on his cell phone of his naked girl friend, with one of the Zurich bank where his loot is stashed. Michael Roth doesn’t need a picture, he owns the bank.
I had the corner gym converted!
As you know, I’m a big fan of Amazon, particularly Kindle… Yes, both my books are on there… Did you buy the fuckers yet? Anyway, word is that Amazon is probably the biggest fucking retailer in the universe, And you can buy anything on there… Yes, any fucking thing! If you don’t believe me, check this out. There’s a sample below.
This just about sums it up!
There’s an interesting story in Fortune about how MySpace is well and truly fucked. All the shit about redesigning the site and concentrating on bad fucking music videos isn’t going to turn the Exxon Valdez of social networking around. It’s fucked. Best bit is when they point out that the Wizened of Oz tried to sell it back in March. Apparently, he wanted $700 million for it! Remember, he originally paid $580 million for it when it was by far the number one site for brain dead fucktards, pulling in 4.5% of ALL Web traffic. Now, when its share is in the toilet, he expects to sell it for a profit. Rupert, you old fart, you have more chance of getting Wendy pregnant than selling MySpace for a profit. Obviously, the Dirty Digger is going senile.
Waahh!!!
I’m sure by now you’ve all heard about Paris being nailed for cocaine possession while cruising the strip in Vegas last night. Yeah, who gives a fuck, Right… No, the point of this post is merely to point out that people who spend their useless lives tweeting, are as much an air head as Ms. Hilton. According to Gawker, while she was in jail at 3:30AM PDT, Paris tweeted about spending a quiet night in, watching Family Guy. Which means she has some fucktard doing her tweets on some pre-arranged schedule. Why people bother with this shit is a mystery to me!
The lady spent the fucking evening with me!
See the news today that BDA Deutsch beat out BDA’s Saatchi and JWT for the Microsoft “Cloud Computing” biz… No surprise there… Microsoft is one of the all time Big Dumb Clients (BDC) so will fit right in at Drug Central. Apparently, Saatchi’s Kev “I am in black” Roberts couldn’t work his LoveMark magic on sweaty old fucking Balmer, and JWT, sans Ty and Rosie, couldn’t keep their mojo working. Not that it will make any difference where this shit lands up. The work will suck. Wonder what kind of deal Michael “I sell insurance” Roth did to swing this? Probably gave the farm away. Anyway “cloud computing” is geek flavor of the fucking month. A couple of years from now it’ll be dead and all the freaks will be swooning over “sewer synapsing.” Remember. You read it on AdScam first.
Double bonus Friday!
Continuing in its starring role as “How to do everything wrong in the ad biz” Interpublic is merging the once great Dailey agency with the never fucking close to being great, Draft/FCB. Amongst the casualties, Steve Rabosky, no doubt, ‘cos he couldn’t “Rumble” with “Idgy!” Here’s the best bit in AdWeek… Dailey explained the change: "Interpublic Group saw an opportunity to strengthen its Dailey brand by aligning it more closely with Draftfcb. This move provides Dailey and its clients with access to Draftfcb's extensive tools and resources as well as a global network. While the two agencies will continue to operate independently, this alignment should immediately benefit Dailey's current clients and hopefully others down the road." Not a fucking hope in hell.
Now the good news... It's Friday!
