AdScam/The Horror!

Oz Murray Overnozzle – Dick – Dick – Henman- Yawn!

As all loyal AdScammers know, I am a huge fan of the various viral video rip-offs of the great German movie, Downfall. But, moving on, as of early today, i.e. 1.30  in the fucking morning here in Boise, Idaho, the great British tennis hope, Andy Murray, flamed out against Uber-Swiss-Nozzle, Roger Federer at the Oz Open. My wife is well and truly pissed. Which might be the under fucking statement of the year.  However, the good news is that within minutes, some fucking prince in the UK posted this HitlerVid… A fucking classic… All I can say is, Kudos to whoever came up with this so quickly, not to mention, so fucking brilliantly!!! 

Step inside my private, steam driven brothel, and we'll do various National Socialist "Naughties."

 

Focus on hypocrisy!

Interesting happenings with all the fuss about Christian footballing douchenozzle, Tim Tebow doing the anti-abortion ad in the Super Bowl. Now it seems ace lawyer, Gloria Allred, will stick it to fucktard James Dobson, whose “Focus on the Family,” Nigerian scam operation, is footing the bill. Tebow’s mother claims that doctors in the Philippines, where she was a missionary in 1987, tried to make her have an abortion… What she didn't say is that it's not only been illegal there since 1930, but they put you and the doctor responsible in jail and throw away the fucking key. Anyway doesn’t Dobson ever ask TimTard about why he wears that black eye shadow with Bible stuff on it. After all, DobsonNozzle did say gay marriage will destroy the earth!

What's next... The Village People?

 
 

Barbie’s boobs and other marketing secrets!

As further proof that douchenozzles continue to be douchenozzles, no matter how many years pass by, news last week that Mattel, the world's largest maker of really shitty toys, announced a turnaround in the performance of its Barbie brand, as sales of the girls' doll and accessories rose 9 per cent during the fourth quarter. If you’ve bought The Ubiquitous Persuaders (and if you haven’t, you are a pus-ridden fucktard) you will be aware that one of the few psycho-babble suggestions the evil Dr. Dichter recommended that actually stuck, was his advice to Mattel to make Barbie’s tits the size of melons. Apparently, the Barbie Fashionista doll line became one of the season's hard-to-find toys, as retailers sold out of a Barbie three-story townhouse, selling for about $200, and a Barbie camper van, selling for $80. That’s right folks… A fucking Barbie Town House for a mere $200. And they couldn’t make them fast enough! I’ll bet Angela N’s swanky Paris apartment is full of them!

Barbies a "goer"... Nudge, nudge, wink, wink!

 

For whom the Dell tolls!

Loyal AdScammer, Ivan “The Count,” has sent me the latest scoop from the New York Daily Post, concerning all the naughty goings on in Austin, Texas. You can read the salacious details with the picture below. All I can say is that as far as I know, this had nothing to do with the implosion of Enfatico, and the Poisoned Dwarf could not be reached for a comment, as he is currently blogging from Davos, along with all the other poor fuckers who are down to their last few billions. It’s tough at the top. Wankers!

Check out the sign to the right of her head!!!

 

Is it over for Twitter before it starts?

As you all know, I am a bona fide, registered Twitter hater. Well, let me correct that. I don’t hate it, I just think it’s a big wank! So I was fucking cheered to be pointed by AdScammer Kevin H, at an article in computerworld titled, “Twitter now has 75M users; most asleep at the mouse.” It points out that the number of Twittertards has climbed to 75 million, but the growth rate of new users is slowing and a lot of current Twitternozzles are inactive, to the point were they never use the fucking thing. Apparently, the rate of new user growth peaked in July at 7.8 million a month. That has now dropped to 6.2 million new users a month, according to a study from RJMetrics Inc., The past six months has also seen a steady falloff in the number of new accounts. Which means in social networking terms, it’s fucking over and the circus has left town. So there goes the fifty billion dollar valuation when they do their IPO. That’s if they ever figure out how to make fucking money with this turd.

On Twitter you can say Douchenozzle and still have 128 characters left!

 

How to write a creative brief… A guide for cretins!

Don’t ask me how I arrived there, but I just stumbled across a site titled “Colectivo Planner,” which has a slide show from JWT that is a how-to guide for planners when writing a creative brief… It consists of 66 fucking Power Point slides! And it shows there are currently 64 known creative brief formats within the entire JWT organization. Various lame-brain points for fucktards include…

A creative brief is first and foremost for the creative people working on that brief!

The brief is not developed separate from the creative department.

It’s all about the brand. Fuck selling stuff. Think brand (OK, I made that one up.)

But you get my drift here. With Lots and lots of mind numbing charts that only an MBA could love, this is fucking melt down time. No wonder not much gets done, and what little does, invariably sucks!

Our dad is a planner at JWT. Today is his birthday!

 

Hitler responds to the iPad!!!

Having read a million fucking blogs and shit about what the GodPad will and will not do, AdScammer Paul Benjou has sent me the latest Hitlerrantsparody. Fucking brilliant. When Hitler is told that amongst other things the iPad doesn’t support multitasking, only runs one app at a time, and is on the fucking AT&T network, he freaks… Well who the fuck wouldn’t. He even says… “It sounds like a fucking tampon!” Ha, then ends it with… “I may as well wait for the HP Slate now.” Fucking brilliant.

Hitler fucks over Captain Jobs!

 

Kate does a Dorian Grey!

Seems like everyone in England got their knickers in a twist when Kate showed up for some do to celebrate the launch of her Longchamps bag line with grey streaks in her hair. Don’t know what all the fuss was about, she still looks fucking tasty to me. As the Daily Mail puts it… Aging supermodel Kate Moss (Remember: Supermodel years are like dogs years. She's 36 to us, but in Model that's 98) dared to go grey, but offset it with the shortest skirt known to man. She ditched the look 24 hours later, but the intervening awesomeness begs the question: Is Kate forever young, elegantly old, or so damn trendy it doesn't matter? All I can say is that after all the shit she’s thrown down her pie hole and sniffed up her schnozzle over the years, she looks remarkable. And she isn’t wasting her time at Davos, either!

Not bad for an old dog!

 

Davos Dick Heads discuss shit!

All the usual suspects are once again gathered in Davos. What the fuck for is anyone’s guess… Oh yeah, solving all the world’s troubles while guzzling vintage champagne in one of the most expensive places on the face of the earth. 2500 Attendees include, Evan Williams, founder of Twitter, James Cameron, punting Avatar and Eric Schmidt of Google, but no sign of perennial hanger-on, The Poisoned Dwarf. Maybe the Midget Kingdom can’t afford it this year… Bonuses to make, you know? So what are all these wankers up to… Discussing Haiti, the global economic melt down and social fucking networking? No, apparently the thing that’s got them most worked up is the cancelation of the FREE wine tasting that’s always been the highlight of the Swiss wank-fest. And speaking of wank-fests… I’m still waiting for my invitation to the AAAA shindig. Waddaya think the chances are of that happening?

Fuck Davos... It's Friday!

 

Must See TV!!!

As you know, unlike way too many ad blogs, I rarely show ads. Only if they are of great creative merit, Like the Eagle Insurance spot, yesterday. But AdScammer Mike, just sent me a spot for… Well, watch it and find out… Un-fucking-believable!!! Nice one Mike.

I think it's disgusting!