AdScam/The Horror!

So, did Lee Clow’s fat lady finally sing?

Am I the only one getting tired of reading that Lee Clow is retiring… But that he’s not actually retiring, He’s stepping down as official, old & gnarly, chief creative officer, dude of a once great agency, but in his own words “Will keep stopping by to bug the shit out off all the people actually doing the work these days.” Media Arts lab will now have to stumble along with Duncan Milner at the helm, but I am told Lee is number one on his iPhone speed dial. Anyway, Lee has more fucking money than God… But not as much as GodJobs.

C'mon Lee, everyone knows you've never been on a fucking surfboard in your life!

 

How BDA’s get their start!

Dabitch over at Adland has a great video “The Pitch” Cliff Freeman did back in 2006… Forget doing all this Halloween shit and dressing up like a fucking idiot. Get your arse over there and watch it. Here’s the comment I left… This is so great... Even if it was made in 2006 (Yeah, I know, don't fucking go on about the Comcast Rabbit!) It is timeless. I've worked with all these douchenozzle over the years. All the account people are now at Draft/FCB and the wanker with the Silver Pencil is at CP+B. The planner is out of work. Thank God! Cheers/George

And now... Analytics!!!

 

French bite Bush’s poodle in the derriere!

I an example of how politicians live in a fucking dream world where everyone loves them and they feel a God given right to get anything they want (kinda like BDA senior management) The news out of Europe is the Tony Blair is not going to get the EU Presidency he expected. The French and Germans have said Non & Nein. Which means Tony will have to go back to making millions a year through his part time job at J. P. Morgan, and isn’t he supposed to be some kind of Middle East peace envoy? Not much to brag about there in terms of results. Apparently he’s occupied a whole floor in the King David hotel in Jerusalem  for the last couple of years, when he’s not travelling the world giving speeches at half a million a pop. Why can’t these people just fuck off somewhere and count their money?

I prefer camels, anyway!

 

Draft/FCB layoffs happening as we speak!

This just in from deep throats at Draft/FCB, New York. several people laid off this week, more to come, as word from Interpublic is that they have to cut over five million dollars in salaries by January first. Apparently they have already laid off the entire facilities group in the NYC office. No idea how many people that means, but am expecting more information shortly. Stay tuned, more to come.

Mr Roth tells me my job is secure!

 

The Comcast, rabbit, panther thingy!!!!

Unless you’ve been living in a cave for the last few months, you will be familiar with Goodby Silverstein's great “Slotskys” campaign for Comcast. But, as I have been living in a cave for the last few months, I had never seen the earlier “Rabbit, Panther, Thingy” spot. Don’t ask why why I was in the cave, it involves whips and manacles. Stuff that might upset loyal AdScammers. Anyway, as you know, I rarely comment on ads, unless I want to kick the shit out of the vast majority of the cretinous output of BDA’s. But I found the “Rabbit, Panther, Thingy” spot and I can’t stop watching it. Fucking brilliant, everything TV should be. It sucks you in and builds to a great finale. Kudos to the whole team, particularly Jamie Barrett and Noam Murrow. Just one more reason why Goodby Silverstein is a great agency, and Volkswagen are a bunch of fucktards. Even if they are “Good Germans!”  

Brilliant!!!

 

Just what we need... Another agency of the future… Yawn!

There’s a new start up in Boulder by the somewhat pretentious name… Victors and Spoils, which is a breakaway group from CP+B. And yes, they are claiming to be a “different kind of agency.” This one is all about the hot idea du jour… Yes, fucking crowdsourcing. Which basically means no work will take place in-house and everything will be freelanced out, probably as some kind of competition, this means anyone dumb enough to do it will get fucking peanuts even if they are the lucky winner. Losers will, no doubt, get fuck all. Ha, there’s a breakthrough. According to the COO, who comes from a game video company… The agency will seek ideas from outside sources, while an internal “creative department is curating and directing that crowd.” So, it will be just like freelancing for a BDA, when you bust your chops to come up with stuff, the in-house CD shits all over everything, and probably ends up doing it him/her self. According to the New York Times, when asked about their clients, the partners at Victors and Spoils replied… “We can’t say who they are.” Well, good luck guys, I think you’re going to need it.

Victors & Spoils calls a staff meeting!

 

Interpublic results suck… Again!

With the news that Interpublic's net income in the third quarter fell by more than half compared to the same period last year, you have to wonder how long this charade can go on? AdWeek’s report is accompanied by a picture of ex-insurance salesman, Michael Roth, smiling like a Cheshire Cat as he sits at his mahogany desk in his plush executive office. Spouting the usual bullshit about revenue downturn stemming from the global recession, which has resulted in many clients slashing spending, canceling projects and generally asking to get more ad services for less, he then goes on to reassure brain-dead IPG shareholders that "the tone of our conversations with clients concerning the economy is improving." Oh well, fuck me, give that man another gigantic performance bonus!

Why the fuck is this man smiling?

 

Microsoft does meat, lots of meat, lots of really bad meat!

I have to assume we can thank CP+B for the latest diabolical joint promotion between two of their clients… The Burger King Windows 7 Whopper. Only available in Japan at the moment, but no doubt soon destined to fuck up the digestive systems of Americans dumb enough to pay money for this gourmet travesty. Weighing in at one and a quarter pounds with seven beef patties (all of which doubtless taste like over cooked cow patties) this thing has 2,200 calories, which is usually considered to be all your body needs for 24 hours. Anyway, apart from the overall grossness of the concept… I have to ask myself what possible tie in could there be between a bad fast food company and a bad software company… Apart from the fact that they share a bad advertising agency?

Welcome to the new leaner, meaner Windows 7.

 

Woulda, coulda, shoulda!!!

Tom and Curvin have a couple of interesting comments on my last post, about missed opportunities for making fucking millions… Always in hindsight, of course. Reminds me of when I first came to America in the sixties, and to get a green card, I took a job teaching at Rochester Institute of Technology in upstate New York. One day, someone asked me if I was interested in buying some stock in a start up company… Something to do with office equipment, and the shares were about five cents each. I said No, fuck that, I needed money for beer. So I passed… The company was Xerox… Further proof, not that you need it, I am a fucking douchenozzle!

Shoulda stuck one of those in my ear!

 

Tom did digital in dial-up days!”

Interesting piece in AdAge by Frank D’Angelo - One of Tom Messner's old mates at the agency with the world’s longest name! – Reminding us that’s it’s the fifteenth anniversary of Digital Advertising! And it all started with “HotWired” the digital version of what used to be a great magazine, Wired, which is now a pile of crap, full of booze and car ads. MVBMS was the first agency to jump on the digital wagon, convincing their clients that this was worth considering. Must have been a tough sell in those days, when you consider the on-line audience was less than two million, and most of those were on dial-up connections. It just goes to show that Tom Messner is a pioneer and a visionary, as well as being a fucking prince.

With that headline, it has to be one of Tom's!