Is Twitter turning into a legally obsessed twat?

According to today’s LA Times, Twitter has applied to the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office for sole naming rights on the word "tweet." To which I have to ask… Why the fuck would you want to do that? For years armies of douchenozzle lawyers at Xerox, Kleenex, Jacuzzi, Q-Tip and many others have sued the shit out of people who’ve had the temerity to use their brand names as generics for their particular kinds of products… Which to me is stupid… Why not have someone go in a drug store and ask for a box of Kleenex, rather than a box of snot tags? Isn’t that to your advantage? Twitter co-founder Biz Stone (why does the name “Biz” make me think of that cartoon dog that goes nuts for bacon or snausages, or whatever the fuck the dog treats are called. ‘C’mon Biz, own the fuck up, your real name is Claude, or Cecil, or Dipshit.) Anyway, "Biz" explained the move this morning in a blog post, saying no harm was meant to the many applications that have grown up alongside the core service. "We have applied to trademark Tweet because it is clearly attached to Twitter from a brand perspective. But we have no intention of 'going after' the wonderful applications and services that use the word in their name when associated with Twitter." OK… OK… So, exactly what the fuck is the purpose of this exercise?  Please answer in 140 characters or less. And while you're at it... Try not to use the word awesome in every fucking sentence.

Tweeters should stick this in their lapel. After they've stuck it up their arse!

Comments

[shitkikka]

I'm thinking that Unilever should be suing Twitter for using a bird as logo... when obviously Dove owns that...

[nancy]

birdwoman is not going to be happy about this

beware if she knows salt woman

when salt woman was very poor and treated badly, she turned those who treated her and her son badly into birds and thus the origin of thousands of tweets

[Dallasite]

I love the lapel pin Goerge! You should have it copy writed or trademarked or service marked or whatever, and print up a ton of t-shirts. I'll buy the first one!

[The Founder]

Actually it's the right thing to do... those companies lost their name because of the generic term... and now if they don't do this... 5 years from now (if they still exist) Twitter can be named on everything that is a short blog "tweet" or whatever you want to call it...

in other words they would have given the world an API and a name.... twitter has nothing else...

[Godot.]

I love the lapel pin Goerge! You should have it copy writed or trademarked or service marked or whatever, and print up a ton of t-shirts. I'll buy the first one!
Posted by: Dallasite | July 02, 2009 at 04:08 PM

THIS FUCKER CAN'T SPELL !

[John Howard]

It's almost 9 here in New York and the Wonderer hasn't posted anything stupid.

And where's Kate?

Oh yeah, it's only Thursday.

[Kypar]

This is twitter's revenue rescue plan; once they start tanking they'll start suing.
Blue bird? Where is that fucking blue bird from as I know I've seen it before. I want to say Cinderella! Seriously, I wonder if this tweetbags ripped off Disney!?!? Have to watch it this weekend. (I have kids that's why!)

George, Need some Glam Kate tomorrow after last week!

[slowmo]

Maybe they want to be another Google where the brand has become a universally known verb.

But I think they have a lot more things to worry about.

Twitter has only 45 people to manage 32 million users worldwide:

Twitter Trips on Its Rapid Growth

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124329188281552341.html

[George Parker]

@kypar...
Bonus Kate tomorrow!!!
Cheers/George

[wonderer]

john howard,

almost 9 and nothing stupid? you mean not wrong? when someone who 'claims' to have a telecoms account makes basic factual errors, you don't have to think too hard why agencies are suffering at the moment.

How can you have a client and not understand what they do? Never mind - your ignorance will help you through not understanding why your jobless.

Anyway, time for you all to get back to the daily beating up on Twitter - that should help sort out why advertising is fucked up at the moment.

Do you not think that it might be that with advertising having grown so much in the last couple of decades, its now full of very mediocre, untalented people?

[methinksdifferent]

@wonderer,

advertising sucks today because it is practically irrelevant and unnecessary......

and that's why most people in the game suck...

for thinking otherwise.

really, it shouldn't be called advertising anymore.....

it should be called....

the borrow and steal trend followers who seek attention for people who make shit we don't need or people sick who also seek attention with the hopes of profiting from stupid humans who believe stupid shit created by BDA's who think they have a line on the best way to con dumb ass mother fuckers who buy in to shit because of unoriginal fucks who borrow and steal from trends which have nothing to with everyday living.........

industry.

[adchick]

"Why the fuck would you want to do that?" You're damned right. I don't hear anyone ever ask for a tissue...they ask for a Kleenex. I want an iPod, not an mp3 Player. The name BECOMES the item! Isn't that what branding really is? Will we ever hear "Bing it" as opposed to "Google it"? And, yes, I'd buy a t-shirt with the lapel logo...brilliant!!

[Leon]

I think it is important to read the entire paragraph:

"We have applied to trademark Tweet because it is clearly attached to Twitter from a brand perspective but we have no intention of "going after" the wonderful applications and services that use the word in their name when associated with Twitter. In fact, we encourage the use of the word Tweet. However, if we come across a confusing or damaging project, the recourse to act responsibly to protect both users and our brand is important."

I think a third grader can figure out they mean that they protecting their brand against POTENTIAL abuse - like any sane entity would do for their brands.

[methinksdifferent]

@leon,

potential abuse?

that's a fucking joke.

their brand name is fucking twitter....

not tweet.

tweet is a fucking generic word which is used to describe a bird singing.

it has nothing to do with a bunch of idiots telling the world how their fucking off 20 times a day.

as a matter of fact, they probably thought about trying to trademark tweet early on but a non-fucktard told the twitter fucktards that it would be kinda like trying to trademark the word "sing" which would be impossible.

now because twitter is a b- web hit,

some fucktards over there think
their special,

and deserve special treatment where their "IP" is concerned.

lets see how they will argue to shut these guys down:

http://tweet.com/konfuciy.asp

dumb fucks. it never fails to amaze me.

[wothefuk]

@methinksdifferent.

Even allowing for defining 'advertising' more broadly, to state (and so delightfully confidently) that:

"advertising sucks today because it is practically irrelevant and unnecessary..."

is to be so laughably and pitifully clueless, that I can only assume you have never worked in anything remotely resembling advertising.

Or that you're simply an infant using daddy's laptop.

To state that our industry should be called

"the borrow and steal trend followers who seek attention for people who make shit we don't need or people sick who also seek attention with the hopes of profiting from stupid humans who believe stupid shit created by BDA's who think they have a line on the best way to con dumb ass mother fuckers who buy in to shit because of unoriginal fucks who borrow and steal from trends which have nothing to with everyday living" industry

Makes me wonder why you choose to visit an advertising blog.

And why such anger.

The irony (lost on yourself, naturally) of it all, of course, is that you've very successfully advertised that whoever you are and whatever you actually do, you truly are one dumb cunt.

Which may be the first and only effective ad you've ever had a hand in producing.

Well done you.

[slowmo]

Have you all read this?

http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/28816321/the_great_american_bubble_machine/print

[Andy Webb]

Well, in order to get a lot of publicity out of it. That would be one reason to trademark "tweet."

[methinksdifferent]

@wothefuk......

your right...i am clueless about the ad biz.....

how its still the only recession proof industry,

kicking ass,

saving the fucking world,

by jump starting the economy because of super smart guys like you who know exactly what to do......

right?

yes, great advertising will fix everything, but the only problem is......

there is know such thing as "great advertising" anymore.

today its all "failed advertising".

how you see "failed advertising" as relevant or needed is way beyond me.

maybe if you looked in the mirror, it might give you a good explanation to where i was going with my statement.

[wothefuk]

@methinksdifferent

Um... If that was an elaboration of your finely tuned argument, I'm afraid you've lost me. I've absolutely no idea where you are going with your 'statement'.

Ok. So we've now firmly established you're a cunt.

And that you're clueless.

It's ALL "failed" advertising? Really? Any empirical evidence?

And (again) why the anger?

The fact that you could write (the caps are mine): "there is KNOW such thing as "great advertising" anymore" suggests that not only are you a half-wit, but quite possibly drunk.

When I look in the mirror I see someone who is employed and breathtakingly smug about it. What do you see, you conceited infant?

Stay off daddy's liquor, son.

[the lower depths]

@slowmo: that article both scared the piss out of me and delighted me… the depth of callousness of institutions like Goldman has long been a matter of public record, but to see it so concisely laid out was frightening, but that Taibbi, a good reporter, is doing such a great job was heartening…

[methinksdifferent]

wow.....

@wothefuk....

your making it difficult for me to have fun here and contribute to the adscam mayhem.

anyways,

regarding what you think i "do" or "don't" KNOW {how's that?} it hardly matters.

what i will tell you is,

its "breathtakingly smug" people like you that ruin it for the rest.

as they say, it only takes one ass-hole to come in and ruin a good party.

my guess is everyone you work with hates you, but the one or 2 clients you have are also ass-holes so it evens out.

that is the scary thing about life. ass-holes tend to seek each other out to justify their existence and process in some sort of moral context.

but,

eventually they devour each other when they get in each others way...

or..... our done serving a purpose...

then becoming expendable.

you see @wothefuk, the fun thing about this site is you CAN tell people in the biz to fuck off because there is no $ involved.

you don't need fuck you money to participate here.

on that note, i won't call you names or throw out any childish insults because i'm sure enough people do that to you everyday already behind your back.....

and hopefully, every now and then one of your ass-hole buddies throws down your way to.

live a good life.....

at least for yourself.....

and assuming you have any sense of perspective.....

do the best you can.

[Dallasite]

Whew! Back to the more lighthearted topic of trademarking tweet....
One interesting point in this case is that both words twitter and tweet were already common words. As opposed to made up brand names like Kleenex and iPod. It is often difficult to effectively trademark/protect such brands.

And @Godot
I really can spell, just got lazy on second glass of wine :)