The breaking news that Amazon is buying plastic shoe company Zappos for $800 million dollars will no doubt mean that the recent giant fuck up when Zappos asked every fucktard agency in the universe to pitch for their account via Twitter, is now null and void. This breaks the long standing “Now you see it… Now you don’t” record of Draft/FCB retaining the Wal-Mart account for less than ten minutes, barely enough time for Julie to look into Sean’s eyes as she kissed him behind the executive taco truck. I have it on good authority that the review for the combined Amazon/Zappos account will now require the seven hundred competing agencies to submit RFP’s directly to Jeff Bezos’ 48 inch screen Kindle. As with the original Zappos pitch, this will require finished ads, videos, 300 slide Power Point presentations from English Planners, and the delivery of a six foot tall chocolate Kindle to Jeff’s front door. At this moment, every BDA in the fucking country is wetting themselves and spending shitloads of money just to get noticed. Douchenozzles!
I could make you the Imelda Marcos of failed tennis stars!
