Get mobile, get screwed!

So, I just got an invite to blow five hundred fucking dollars to "Gain Recession Marketing Insights at DIGIDAY:MOBILE - Only a Few VIP's Seats Left!" And guess what? If you shell out the money... "You'll hear how Ogilvy North America is helping clients do more with their marketing and spend less in today's recessionary marketplace with MOBILE. Their clients are now seeing the huge opportunities that mobile can bring them - join us and you'll discover why." So, lets get this straight... For $500, I get to listen to boiler plate presentations for four hours in the morning, then in the afternoon I'm able to "network" for thirty minutes or so... Then an hour of cocktails at 5.30... Probably with a "No-Host" bar, where I get to chat with a bunch of people I'd rather stab in the fucking eye. You know what? I'll bet the fucking thing is sold out... These scams always are.

I'm at the DIGIDAY:MOBILE thing...Can you Tweet me?

Comments

[slowmo]

Just FYI.

Jon Stewart takes down Cramer hilariously... again. And again:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/10/jon-stewart-rips-into-jim_n_173454.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/10/jon-stewart-slams-jim-cra_n_173738.html

[the lower depths]

stewart calls like he sees 'em... cramer is quite a target, as apparently, are most of the "pundits" for the networks...

as for the junkets being sold out: of course!

you think that the attendees shelled out their own money? the clients are paying for this "research"...

and the ones that should be going are not the ones there: think limbaugh in "office space"...

"soooo, yeah, i'll be going to this conference? think i can have the TPS reports on my desk when i get back?"

[The Founder]

I'm gonna need you to come in on Saturday..and Sunday too. We lost a few people this week and we sort of have to play catchup.

[the wonderer]

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! this is priceless!!! Wot the fuck are ogilvy going to bring to the world of mobile marketing?? a lesson in 'how to choose a belt holder for my blackberry', 'red phone or blue phone in a convergence age?'

ogilvy haven't got a clue about what to do with the internet, let alone mobile! what a shower!!

[the lower depths]

they are bringing a high price tag, i'd wager...

if you go and check what mobile presence actually requires for a client to put something up, you'd find that (founder, help me out here) any very small studio with one guy that really knows what he's doing can pull it off...

why pose yourself as that small studio with the enormous budget requirements you have? i'm sure everyone will be polite, they did pay $500 of someone's money to attend, but there might be a lot of people scratching their heads there... i wonder what they'll show for their portfolio in this area?

you can't just walk in and show a PPT slide show with your "findings" and have nothing to show to back up your claims, can you?

[the wonderer]

stuff to show ?!! I'll wager - someone take me up on this - they have nothing. Half baked ideas do not count, by the way. We're talking real experience. This conference might be an ideal time for me to have some quiet time and catch up on tidying up my contacts list or seeing how straight I can bend a paper clip.

[CS]

To be hosted by MOBILE EMCEE:
Jason Heller, EVP, Laredo Group & Mobile Marketing Guru

Mobile Marketing Guru? Really???

Take a look at the Laredo Group landing page and you'll get an idea of what a scam this thing is. Wow, they've got more crap going on there than MSNBC. It's classic MBA-driven lowest-common-denominator-just-make-sure-you-get-it-all-up-there maketing.

Lame.

[the lower depths]

be afraid of anyone that dubs themselves a "guru", "wizard" or "change agent". be very afraid...

these are titles of projection, not capabilities...

[methinksdifferent]

i'm the wizard change agent guru of oz.

[the lower depths]

well played, sirrah... well played

[Ex-Ogilvy]

Ogilvy New York, a mobile expert, you must be kidding me. They have one "mobile expert" left in NY after sacking everyone else a year ago.

She has been there for years pushing mobile, but she can't figure out how to generate enough income to even cover her own salary, and is still a 1 person department. How is she going to help clients monetize mobile when she can't do it for Ogilvy?

[slowmo]

Mobile is indeed the next frontier but I rather listen to professionals who has done actual work in the field.

Ogilvy has to realise that hosting a mobile advertising event doesn't make them an expert or a thought leader in this particular area.

Btw, LD, you'll love the latest 411 on Cramer who fronts a bloody marketing pyramaid game of CNBC:

"The relentless self-promotion of talking heads posing as "financial experts" provides a steady stream of drivel that both confuses and alarms investors. CNBC understands that fear sells. It sells fear, masking as financial news...

Objective studies by Barron's and others conclusively demonstrate that Cramer's stock picks typically underperform the market. From May to December 2008, the market lost 30%. Investors who followed Cramer's advice would have lost 35%.

According to Barron's, there may be a way to profit from Cramer's recommendations: bet against them. One study demonstrated shorting his picks earned investors over 25% a month.

Here's the bottom line:

There is a reason for the self-confidence of CNBC's anchors and its Mad Money star: They are desperately hiding a secret. The network is premised on a fundamental lie. Watching CNBC is harmful to your financial health. No amount of information, however slickly packaged and promoted, will help you "beat the markets." If you figured that out, the money machine at CNBC would come to a grinding halt..."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dan-solin/its-cnbc-that-has-not-yet_b_172701.html

Jim Cramer Admits To Market Manipulation... Touts Illegal Activity... Behavior Is Ok:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/11/jim-cramer-shorting-stock_n_173824.html

Bloody wanker.

[slowmo]

Founder, I was glad to read this:

http://www.tribbleagency.com/?p=4423

[slowmo]

Some nice clips:

http://crooksandliars.com/john-amato/alan-grayson-there-any-way-save-system-

http://videocafe.crooksandliars.com/heather/saturday-night-live-the-rock-obama

[Big Jim Slade]

If you have "Guru" on your business card, you'd better wear a turban.

But that's the way I roll.

[RT]

not to crap on your parade, but...ogilvy (rather, neo@ogilvy) won mediaweek's most recent "digital media plan of the year" for their lenovo/beijing olympics campaign, which had a pretty sizeable mobile component.

not looking to defend them, just mentioning this is fairness.

[the lower depths]

might it not have been more impressive if it was a pencil or a lion or even CA? mediaweek?

mediaweek reports on news within advertising (and not exclusively at that), not content or creative merit or effectiveness... just numbers...

could you supply the link? i went looking under ogilvy and neo but nothing on the award...

[slowmo]

RT, digital media plan? Mobile advertising depends on what type of arrangements you have with the telco you are working with.

They may have just succeeded in winning by pure reach or the sheer number of tie-ups with telcos because Lenovo was a top 5 spender during the BJ Olympics game.

[the wonderer]

lower depths, sir, while advertising may be the "rattling of a stick inside a swill pail" you sound like the end of the bath water going down the drain.

the revolution is being televised and, if you have noticed, its being blogged, iPod-ed, web sited, bus sheltered, screened in elevators, on outdoor motion signs, bits of paper, on fridges, on video game machines, phones... the list is endless. BUT its all about the message not the medium and that's what we are good at isn't it?

You were beginning to sound like a BDA there....

[RT]

my bad...neo@ogilvy won last year's mediaweek media plan of the year/best use of digital for the "share the scare" campaign for six flags, not the lenovo campaign. and the article (i found the print copy) mentions they used pretty much every other digital approach but mobile. sorry about that guys, i got mixed up.

[the lower depths]

wonderer... what the hell are you talking about? is that the PR release from mediaweek???

[the lower depths]

one thing about "being blogged, iPod-ed, web sited, bus sheltered, screened in elevators, on outdoor motion signs, bits of paper, on fridges, on video game machines, phones... the list is endless" ...

too many channels demanding too few interested parties attention. if you want to "televise the revolution" get something that isn't scattered and can achieve focus and consensus. between all the channels and ADD adherents, your revolution might be televised but no one's paying attention.

to paraphrase massimo vignelli:

too many choices = no choice.

[the wonderer]

lower depths - what on earth are you saying??? you might have noticed that all of these channels and mediums are here. they are not going away. you might still sit in front of a tv for the evening and buy a newspaper but increasing numbers of people dont. how are you planning on talking to all those people who do use those other mediums ? too much choice? maybe for you.

you better hurry up with your answer because that bath water is almost gone by the sound of it.... BDAs are suffering because they have no idea how to communicate to people through all these mediums. do you realise that you can watch movies, buy music, communicate with people, get news, be online.... from a playstation and that that is where kids are spending time instead of from tv and newspapers?

probably not - you are too busy bitching on here about too much choice.Put the zoot suit away and wake up daddy-oh

[the lower depths]

all i was saying, if you can best your own star-eyed wonder at it all, is:

A: if an agency gets an award for something, as RT pointed out and ten corrected, it should be from a body that can recognize what they do and not a news facility like mediaweek

and

B: with so many channels to choose from and so little accountability, the choice of WHERE you release your message is of vital importance and should be approached with care, not like some arsehole on a roof letting the pigeons out for a flyby...

it all sounds fantastic: millions of channels to reach out to, we can hit everyone, until you look at he reality of your revolution: more people hit that Brittany blooper on youtube than the Pepsi reach out... more people yakk about dribble on Twitter than actually follow ANY brand outreach... the FaceBook pages dedicated to brand messaging and community are ghostowns compared to almost any other group with social context, including the David Lynch page. the man hasn't made a movie in years and he has more hits than the Coke or IBM page ever will...

it's one thing to get all worked up about the new thing, quite another to use it intelligently and to the benefit of your brand... BDA's are also suffering because they're listening to twits say how to reach out on these channels and which channels they should reach out to that have NO idea what they are talking about.... as clearly evidenced by the BDA's lack of success across most of these channels.

what good is a gun if you don't know how to load it or which end to point?

[the wonderer]

fuck the award thing - neither here nor there - about as relevant as a brand's facebook page or Lynch - who you will probably find most people are laughing at. His torrent is similar to the Chinese woman missing the plane on you tube recently.

i hear you lower depths. however its not MY revolution. Its ours, like it or not. More people hit the Britney link because its more relevant/entertaining to them than the lame efforts of BDAs.

I am not starry eyed about all the choice but I do acknowledge they are there. My point is I think you are getting caught up in the choice of channels/mediums. Who cares about them? Its all about compelling stuff wherever it turns up.

Its kind of like newspapers getting caught up in the fact that they think they deliver reams of paper to peoples' houses rather than thinking about the fact that they provide access to news and opinion however it gets delivered.

This isn't about starry eyed-ness - I am asking how are we going to figure this out?

[the wonderer]

lower depths - the most relevant thing i have heard this year was the results of some research done by Hulu. Stunningly, they discovered that people like to see a show with less commercials in it and shorter ones to boot.

We don't get to tell people how they have to consume stuff anymore. They are not letting us herd them around like we used to.

Unless we all want to end up laying out coupons, how do you plan to acknowledge/embrace this ?

[the lower depths]

some small points, if i may:

people will always look at the tart flashing her bits more than ANY message anywhere about any product, messaging will ALWAYS lose to flash, even if the messaging is flash.

a revolution is only as good as it's soldiers, have smarter, better equipped and aware soldiers and you'll have a better revolution, less like that crappy Diesel ad where the "soldiers" throw water balloons instead of grenades and more like capable individuals ready to adapt and utilize.

recognition, like awards, keeps the creatives hot and interested to do better. show my a creative individual that cares not for recognition and i'll show the dullest fucking ads anywhere.

if we have to figure it, and i don't think we do: we just have to make smart choices, i'd say it would be to keep our eyes open, as well as our minds.

there will ALWAYS be some new thing to reach across and utilize for our clients, how and when will ALWAYS be the choices, the rest is dross and detail. if it's Twitter or XXX (TBD) is not the important thing. the important thing, to me, is to speak to consumers in the best voice for the current need.

[the wonderer]

really? creatives can only do great work if they win awards? not if they do stuff that actually works for the client??

what if awards were based on how much stuff ads actually sold? how useful they were to the client? what if clients voted on them? agencies are not training schools for film directors although many people might think so....

so all this having been said - how are you going to talk to these people who want flash? They are no dumber than we were - they want to be entertained, whatever... and most brands are obviously failing. Bearing in mind that we are in charge of selling those brands where do we go?

I suspect that people are open to being sold to but they want an intelligent discourse. They are not as dumb as we make out

[slowmo]

RT, no worries. I'll appreciate if you post the link of the article you foun as you got me curious about it.

wonderer, this creativity vs effective debate is interesting but for interactive work, you need to be able to do both. It's the promise of this particular medium.

[the lower depths]

you're not listening.

creatives need motivation, awards provide that. there are very few metrics directly related to showing how that last campaign/spot moved the product off the shelf, if any verifiable ones. too many factors. awards create a thrust, that's all.

you have to pick your battles: the people that just want flash are certainly no less intelligent than you or i but do have different social parameters where communication is feasible: find those parameters, say what you have to say and walk on.

it's like going to a wine tasting and trying to convince people they should be drinking scotch. no one, except for the strategists and visionaries at most BDA's, is making the consumer out as a dimbulb. i consume and i wouldn't consider myself or my wife, another consumer, that.

and we have to face the fact that we are approaching it from the wrong side. people don't want to be SOLD AT, they want to be TALKED TO. inform, don't force choices. they can make up their own mInds and at the end? our clients might have to take some of that hit for releasing a crap product we tried our best to gloss over.

no matter what anyone does for Miller (just an example), it's a crap beer and will lose more ground as more and better choices are made available to consumers. is that the result of the messengers or what they're delivering?

[the wonderer]

lower depths, are we saying the same thing from different angles? because if you've made me go through this to end up in the same place as you, i am going to come round and kick your ass.

i stand by my original comment, that i doubt ogilvy have very much to bring to the world of mobile.

[the lower depths]

better men than you have tried but you're certainly welcome to try...

and we've been saying the same thing from our perspectives... took you long enough...

[RT]

@Slowmo: here's the mediaweek article. starts towards the bottom of the page, then continues on next page.

http://www.mediaweek.com/mw/content_display/esearch/e3iaba831a787b1157985412fd93ce9e5cc?pn=5

[Edw3rd]

You all need to get a room

[George Parker]

Edw3rd...
That's pretty funny...
Actually, I think AdScam is turning into the new Facebook. I just don't have Zuckersucks millions!
Cheers/George

[the lower depths]

i guess we should keep our comments to 140 characters or less?

[the wonderer]

you probably need a twitter module built into the site george